Nervous bout second baby being treated differently

PEsMommYPEsMommY
edited April 2011 in Second pregnancy
so I was searching 5 pages too see if there was a thread n didn't see any so here it goes. My son is 6 yrs old. I haven't been with his dad since my son was 4 mos old and my husband and his family treat my son great. My son sees his dad maybe once or twice a month but is closer to my DH, they do so much together and at out wedding in jan my hubby and son both made promises and we all entered the marriage together. My DH is now co-coaching in tball n signed my son up. Needless to say I love our lil family life. My daughter is due in june and both DH and my son are really excited but I'm afraid that she'll become the star and my son will slowly slip outta my DHs affection since he still sees his dad. Am I being irrational or does anyone else have similar fears. I grew up in a binuclear household and there was always a difference between my step siblings n my brother and me. I just love that my son is so accepted with my hubby, they hug and laugh and have their secret codes I don't want it too end but want out new baby to fit in. how to ensure you won't treat your kids different.

Sorry so long

Comments

  • 1stWoodsBaby1stWoodsBaby
    I think its great your hubby has been so accepting and loving towards your son. It seems like they have a special bond so I wont worry too much about them losing that. Maybe you could mention it to your hubby.. make sure he knows how much you appreciate how he treats him and hope that continues when the new addition comes along! Hope everything works out!
  • jay_bradjay_brad
    Pregnancy brings out all the nerves &worries of us moms to be. But if your husband had treated your son as his own for this long they have probably formed an unbreakable bond just as your daughter and him will. Try not to stress. &good luck!
  • littlelaydeelittlelaydee
    Your story sounds exactly like mine literally down to the promise at the wedding. I am terrified of what's going to happen esp with my husbands family. My husband tells me things wont change but I am still worried. My 6 yr old is acting out like no other so it's compounding the stress. I plan on having a special day with every week without the baby so we can stay close. If you ever wanna talk let me know! Congrats on your baby girl!
  • PEsMommYPEsMommY
    Thank you ladies :) @littlelaydee when are you due. I'll def take u up on an offer to talk. Its just I want things to kinda stay thr same but holidays and such will be different doen the road. Like when my sons biological dad takes him on christmas and he won't get to spend the day like his sister.
  • littlelaydeelittlelaydee
    edited April 2011
    I am due in Oct.. Soooo far away. You can always inbox me here or email or fb. Littlelaydee02@yahoo.com
    @seifer12211
  • gladiator007gladiator007
    Have grandparents help when the baby is born to give him some attention. I think he'll be okay w/ all the baby attention especially if he gets to help out. Like any child getting a new sis, it will be an adjustmet but it gets better when they can play with each other.
  • angeleyezangeleyez
    I am having the same prob. My son is 5 I have been married for nearly 3 years and my husband has been in my sons like for almost 4. My sons dad has nothing to do with him. Which sucks but is kinda nice I don't have to share. His birth father only saw him once a age 3 for 30 mins or so. But I have been trying to conceive for 2 1/2 years and have worried about my husband treating my son differently when he has his own birth child. And my husband is the only dad my son has ever known. :( I just hope for good things and want it all to turn out. Im due nov 3.
  • magcawmagcaw
    I am step-parent. I have an 8 year old step son, and 3 boys of my own (including this pregnancy). My husband and I started seeing each other when my step-son was around 1, and our first child was born about two and a half years later. Things definitely changed for me during that pregnancy and after my son was born. I am miserable during my pregnancies, so that didn't help at all, and my step-son was absolutely livid that we'd had a baby--his mom had a daughter a month before my son was born, so he got hit from both sides. He was so angry that he ended up acting out constantly and getting into trouble all the time. And it didn't help our relationship at all that he was so mean to my baby all the time. My second son and this one changed things a lot. He loves to play with his youngest brother, and he actually cheered when he found out I was prego this time (though he's not pleased that he's getting another brother instead of a sister). I have had to work VERY hard to be fair and to stay loving all the time with him, but it has become easier as he's gotten older. My advice to you is to make sure that your husbands understand that their feelings for their biological kids may be different, and to make sure that they continue to work to build their relationships with their step-kids. Had I known ANY of this at 23 when I was going through it I think the whole thing would have been much smoother. Luckily I've learned a lot and that has made a huge difference.
  • jazzysmommy2jazzysmommy2
    Well for one...congrats! I know yu must be excited! If anything try not to show special atention to either of the children. That can cause some feelings getting hurt later on. If yu are going to geive them special afection try to do so...at the same time and equally. What my dad would do ... was...whisper in our ears ... your my favorite. But right in front of my siblings. So we would kno that we were all his favorites. Lol. Tell your son that his baby sister loves him as well. And that later when she's a little older she is going to look up to him. Maybe that will help him feel that he belongs there next to his sister and family.
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