He's "goin away" (bd vent)

edited April 2011 in October 2011
About me: 17 weeks pregnant, one year with the bd.

So today we went to a prenatal class, it was lame but after he was on my phone snooping and he found a kiss list I made and he basically said "i dont give a eff about what you do anymore" after asking a billion questions he said he had to ask me a favor which was not to have sex with anyone while I was holding his baby. I took that as we are over and I asked him to at least be there for me in the beginning when the baby comes cuz thats when I really need him and he said he'll see the baby once a day but will try and be there for his baby if he is still "here". He said he's gunna go away and become hard core gangster again. He then proceeded to tell me he has done crazy shit this pissed week like shooting at people and goin back to the gang life. He stopped his gang life days once me and him got together. Now since our incident the weekend before last (he went to a party with his ex and when I came to wish my fiend happy birthday he proceeded to tell me he hated me and wanted me to leave.) I stopped seeing him and now since then he is gon back to gang life, robbing homes, killing random people, selling and risking his life. He said he wouldn't change back ever and now I'm extra worried cuz right before he got out the car he told me that if he finds out that I slept with any guy during pregnancy or kissed him then he's going to kill him. Then he said especially my friend An who is a guy I have a closet crush on, but he has a gf. I'm not sad because he has treated me horribly lately and I already prepared to raise baby on my own. tomorrow is our one year. But I guess i'll be alone from now on! To all the ladies out there who are or about to be raising a kid on your own I applaud you! if we are all alone for our baby then we are all together in that. I'm here for anyone in the same situation
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Comments

  • I wish he would get out of that lifestyle for your child. Anyhoo, you need to not be involved with anything he is in because your a mom now. Wrong place wrong time u kno?... It honestly takes a strong backbone and strenght from deep within to be a single mom. You can do this without all the extra drama he causes. :)
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  • Um, turn him in! Why would you ask him to be part of your baby's life is he does that shit?! Seriously.
  • @jaime77 thanks! Lol yeah I tried to deal with it when he had parties and at every party my preggo butt has to pull him off from fighting someone. Every party there's either shooting, stabbing, drugs or cops. Usually its all of those combinations and afterwards I would be the one cleaning his messs holding him to sleep. @gatorbob oh we are in south seattle. he's part of the TRG. No worries cuz I doubt you live around us lol and thanks for your kind words guys (: means a lot
  • hmm sounds like he's mad young for saying all that silly crap...let him go he needs to grow up..stay strong u will love again and its gonna make u even a stronger woman.
  • @ellie3712 can't turn him in, what we had was too great. I still love him. But I'm asking him to be a daddy. He SO wants to be daddy, comes to every single appointment showing everyone our baby's ultrasound, he's been taking me out to eat whenever I'm hungry, he's even came to family events. I still really care for him, can't turn him in
  • Do u really want your baby around him when someone retaliates against him?
  • @mommy_of_adriana he's found a way of keeping me safe, and no one knows where I live and baby will stay at my house not his. I would rather the baby stay with me anyways cuz he moves to often and sometimes he even gets evicted and homeless. Dont worry, I'm protecting my baby!
  • Why would u condone his illegal behavior? Sorry this pisses me off. Thats a great role model for ur baby. I say turn his lme ass in so he's off the streets and not killing another kid's mom or dad. This is ridiculous.
  • You're not protecting your baby by putting them around a miscreant like that, sperm donor or not. Any fool can lay down and make a baby, it takes a man to stop being a part of foolishness and be there for his child. I agree, turn him in.
  • edited April 2011
    I would cut him off. What happens to you and your baby when someone needs to get back at him for something he did? I know you can do the single mom thing just put you and your baby ahead of everything even your feelings for him. Goodluck.
  • What would u do when he's just shooting and he hits someone elses baby? I doubt he's a perfect aim
  • Someone could easily follow him to your house without him knowing and that puts your life and baby's life in danger.
  • If you do let him be a part of your child's life I'd listen to @hurstk28 someone could follow him. I'd make sure visitations are in heavily populated, safe areas. With you picking the location. I understand you love him, my sister went through the same thing with her daughters bd and I understand its more than love that prevents you from turning him in. Just remember to keep your baby safe and I'm proud of you for being strong. You'll be a great mom.
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  • Hahaa thanks for the support from the little amount of people who have it lol! Thats all I was looking for tho in this post, just to vent and gain and give support to those single moms. But all of your concerns, no matter how angry, show me you care. but you have to keep in mind that every relationship is different and it changes people. I am cutting him off, taking care of myself, not going to his house. He knows he had to work to be a dad, I made sure he knows. And I'm not getting back with him, thats NOT what I meant by I love him. Like I will always love him and care for him and his well being but not in the relationship kind of love. so please dont "SMH" or get angry. I hope you can understand, thanks!
  • I don't understand I guess how you justify the killing of random people. I would feel so guilty knowing I did nothing to try to prevent another person being shot. At least if I reported it to police I would feel like I tried.
  • Be the best mom u can be. A lot of people dnt understand that type of lifestyle but I do! Its not right but that's wat it is. Just remember 2 always put u nd ur baby first. SN ppl: nobody likes a snitch. Turning him in may put her and her baby in even more danger! Do ur best mama and be strong.
  • Ok I understand not wanting to snitch however.. She has already named the gang, told us she lives in south seattle and listed all his activities on a public forum.. Regardless I think she'll be able to handle being a single mom. Good luck!
  • Ok so let me understand he stopped everything for u and baby but then u made a kiss list and now he doesn't want anything to do with u not condoning his behavior but if u loved him so much y make a kiss list anyways... and it sounds like u shouldn't have him in your child's life anyways no offense just my opinion u deserve to be treated like a princess and your child deserves better
  • Your baby daddy has trust issues and changing back? To what? You can't just choose to be in and out of that kind of lifestyle there's laying low & completely dropping out. And I've learned this dating my beau. I mean he's connected with his gang still & don't get me wrong but he has calmed down from that lifestyle since we've been together. I love him and that's how I met him. I can't change who he was before me, I can ask him to change but if your man has been gangbangin' it for awhile now there's no looking back. Now if he got into the gang while WITH YOU, then you got all the reason to trip but the kiss list I'll admit was a big no-no love. It obviously fucked with his mind thinking like "why she thinking about these other guys y'know?" I can tell you got yourself a pretty territorial guy right? Mine is the exact same way. I'm not tryna sound harsh or rude but knowing how his lifestyle is or was ; its kinda expected of his behavior - "if you kissed another dude or fucked him, I'll fucken kill him?!?" Yea, typical response of a gangbanging over protective territorial dude. And TRG? dang girl, you don't mess around huh? I honestly wish you luck in whatever you choose. I know what you're feeling cause honestly I Never knew the gangbanging lifestyle either, well up until my gangbangin' fiancée. I'm gonna sound stupid and naive but there's a good heart in a gangbanger. I think you and I both know that. Good luck darling. No lesbo but I've caught on to the lifestyle. I hope all goes well for you.
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  • I know ppl cannot choose who they fall in love with because it is out of our hands but I don't understand how you could love and defend someone who murders ppl. Innocent people. Its not just rival gang members who die out there, somebody loves them and they mean a lot to someone else, I pray for you and your child to stay safe, and I hope the consequenses of his actions don't come back on you and your baby. I've lost a lot of friends from gang violence, even innocent children, he can't protect you forever, in that lifestyle all you are is collateral. He pisses the wrong ppl off they won't stop at anything to find you to hurt him, if he really cared about you and his child he'd stay away and never would have gone back to that lifestyle.
  • @Littlelaydee ? Whats me telling you the gang and the general direction I live gunna affect? Lol I dont get that. but @so_effin_sweet thanks! That means so much to have someone understand thanks!!
    And to everyone else, keep in mind I'm talking about an ex. I myself am not doin anything wrong, I'm fine bring a single mom. I have already made my decision to not be with him so please dont assume I'm keeping him around. Baby is coming on october 13th. Regardless of what he does, he is the father of my baby, I'm not gunna keep him from his baby but honestly who the hell would follow to my house without him knowing?? That is all movie stuff. but thanks for the support. Even tho you DONT know me.
  • @HonestlyHopeful I have NEVER been in your situation, but I can say this whatever he has done don't let people try and put his burden on you... You are just venting and I understand who doesn't want the father in the child's life its hard when one parent has a negative lifestyle and you thought he had changed good luck to you and choose wisely!!!
  • F##k..... my MIL and my aunt live in south Seattle. Hope they aren't in his area >_>
  • kills people and robs houses.. Sounds like he is a great guy. Not trying to be mean, but is this the kind of guy you would seriously want in your life? In your babies life? @kerridrn, you took the words right out of my mouth.
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  • I'm not justifying anything, you think I WANT him doin that stuff? I'm not gunna tell and thats my choice, if you dont like it thats fine! But I didn't ask your opinion. So dont try and attack me. I'm just tryng to stand up for the single moms and thats MY vent, gotta problem with it then dont read it, worse than that is even replying. You have to realize he isn't the only criminal, gang member in seattle. but you dont know EITHER of us so dont judge sweetie. I'm being harsh to the people trying to degrade me, him or anyone else in the same situation because I know I'm not the only one out there in this situation. If you read my first note, you will seeeee my stand up for single moms, thats ALL I'm trying to do, is say I applaud all those single moms. Okay? I'm glad you show concern but please keep your degrading comments to yourself.
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