guilty or not ????

kenziesmom216kenziesmom216
edited May 2011 in Pregnancy and fathers
so I'm sitting at home feeling guilty cause my boyfriend is currently incarcerated , hes been there for a week today . i was supposed to go to the mall with my little sister today but at last minute decided not to go for the fact of feeling absolutely guilty about going and petrified that if i went he'd be mad at me and break up with me and i couldn't deal with that . so I'm at home sitting here bored and depressed . i mean i want to be able to go out and do things but don't want him to get mad at me for anything or think I'm doing anything . i mean he trusts me and i no he does but i just don't know what to do . his sister even told me to go and not to worry but i can't stand the fact of him being mad at me or thinking i was doing something wrong . what would you do and how would you feel ?

Comments

  • blessed1508blessed1508
    ummm not your fought he is in jail. go out no reason for u to stay in the house.
  • cetheridgecetheridge
    U didnt commit a crime why are u puttin urself on house arrest he chose to break the law now he deals w the consequences
  • mam082711mam082711
    Agreed with @blessed1508...not your problem...
  • oavalos06oavalos06
    My first concern is why would he break up with you for going to the mall with your sister? Childish of him if he does, in my opinion.
  • BevosnowBevosnow
    He is the one in jail, not you. He should not expect you to stay home and do nothing while he is in jail.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    edited May 2011
    Just because his life is on hold doesn't mean yours should be. I understand the whole "I'll wait for you, and be your ride or die." But if he loves you enough he should trust in you to not be dumb and do anything that'll jeopardize your relationship with him. Good luck. :)

    & I think you only feel guilty cause he can't do the things society lets you do. You feel bad cause he's sitting in a cell 23 hrs a day?
    Good luck.
  • ponyloverponylover
    If he is in prison for being a criminal and you are too scared to go out maybe he is not the man for you, does not sound like a normal relationship. also if he has commited a crime maybe you should leave him.
  • kenziesmom216kenziesmom216
    @hajisbabylovee yeah i think thats it too . i feel bad cause hes sitting in there and im out here . his mom told me not worry and stress about it . i mean ima try and talk to him about it when i talk to him next . your the only person that has made me feel a lil better . everything else ive gotten has been negative . thanks for the positive !! it means alot !!!
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  • kenziesmom216kenziesmom216
    @mshahir thank you for the positive . :) . i just talked to his momma and she said it was hard to tell what he would do but not to stress about it cause i cant stop living just cause hes there . i mean his whole family knows how we are and would do anything for each other and i would never disrespect him in any way or leave him in any way . ive been spending alot of time with his mom and sister . but i mean they need to live there lives too . so hopefully ill be able to talk to him so i can try and talk to him about it so that way im stuck in here all the time cause no part of that is healthy . hoepfully all goes well with our talk ... wish me luck ..
  • Mimii36Mimii36
    So you cant go out because HE commited a crime? Go have fun girl!
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    Oh you're welcome love. I get it completely. I'd honestly be the exact same way. Going from having your bf everyday and then one day its like BAM! Yea I understand you. And people will only say negative things cause they see it from one point. Your stereotype would be "the naive stubborn girl" waiting on her felon of a bf. I got that before and its OK if they feel that way let them. At the end of the day you're on his mind and he's on yours. No one else matters at the end of the day booboo love. I'm sure if you tell him "hey, you got me. I got you're back. I know you know I wouldn't do you wrong." I bet that'll give him the reassurance he needs to make it in there. I mean its tough in there. 23 hours to think think think and think. Their minds will start fucking with them. But give him that reassurance love, I bet you'd feel a lot better. :)

    All the hugs & kisseys. <3
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  • due9novdue9nov
    when i was preggo with my first my man was in jail aswell, it feels horrible going out when the man you love is stuck in a cell but babe you cant put your life on hold, i did and it caused me to become depressed which isnt good for you or baby, so go to the mall with your sister or go do whatever you need to and dont feel guilty about it im sure your man would feel awful if he knew you were keeping yourself cooped up and as long as you visit or write regular like i did it will keep a smile on his face knowing hes always on your mind even if you are out and about, keep your chin up and i hope your man is doing fine xx
  • kenziesmom216kenziesmom216
    @due9nov thank you so much for all the positive feed back !! i write him everyday . his sentencing his may 10th . he may get 1-3 years if they keep him as a juvenile if they bind him over its 10-15 years . im currently not allowed to see him only parents and grandparents . so hopefully when i talk to him ill be able to tell him how i feel and see what he says about it all !! wish me luck !!! :)
  • due9novdue9nov
    well i wish you all the luck i have, my man was in 3yrs i live in the UK so i guess the rules are different coz i was able to see him as often as i could manage to afford it, its really hard being on your own but you'll manage i know you will %%- %%- >:D<
  • due9novdue9nov
    oh and i really hope he doest get the 10 to 15 years hun, let me know how it goes xx
  • mariericamarierica
    Wow mine only got 60 days I don't know what I would do for years good luck
  • lilbabythreelilbabythree
    First thing first - He did it himself. It is not your fault and you should not feel guilty. Going to jail/prison is a choice. We know the law and we know the consquences. We are taught this in kindergarden.
    Second - Jail/prison limits his freedom not takes it away. Most jails have TV, games, puzzles, programs, school, and he is supplied with 3 meals a day and a bead to sleep on, lets not forget free medical care. (if he does have to pay it is the best cheap health care you can get) Plus he only is locked up for 23 if he committes a crime while he is in jail. They usually are in a common room or a pod system. So they are able to have contact with other males.

    I am by all means not saying that it is easy ir enjoyable. I do actually know what are you feeling. But when he hears that you are happy and that you are doing positive things if he is any many then he will be happy that you didnt pause your life because he did that to himself. Writing to him, getting his phone calls and visiting him will help the relationship. Allowing him to still be involved in the process will lift him up when he in there. So stay positive. But also know you know where he is at, you know what he is doing and you know that he is alright. May 10 will come fast. So keep your head up and hope for the best.
  • happiimommy89happiimommy89
    edited May 2011
    Ok my opinion is u should understand I know he did something wrong and maybe his fault dats he's there but u have to understand that he's stuck iin a place where he can't go nowhere and he's frustated and it may not be ur fault but he's going to find any excuse to argue and make u feel bad and u even said u couldn't stand it if he made u go thru dat for now take it easy make him see ur willing to compromise a little and u feel his pain even if its his fault and there he would see ur there for him willing to understand what's he's going thru. .until you see everything is good but always communicate u would never know how he feels until u ask him talk it out and let him tell u how he feels and u let him know how u feel....being in a relationship isn't easy lol no matter what age .now if he tells u no u can't do this u can't do that and threatens to leave u tell him he's pushing his limits hope it helps goodluck
  • ethansmommy122ethansmommy122
    U should go! If he doesn't trust u or feels u should suffer since he is than perhaps u should re-think the relationship. I would not answer to anyone...what's that, u don't want me to go out? EFF that..be ur own voice! :)
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