if he says abort do you think he shld have a say?

mama_underpantsmama_underpants
edited May 2011 in Pregnancy and fathers
K, soooo, as you may know, (short version) hubby and were seperated(divorcing), I was seeing this other guy. Suprise I'm pregnant. Problem is I slept with the guy and my hubby. Via 3d ultrasound, i m 95% sure its the guys, not hubbs. Anyways, when I told the guy I was preg, he said abort, which I'm highly against. I plan on talking to the guy tonight, and I just wanna know your opinions, on what say does he have if he says to abort. (Hubbys plan is, to not involve him at all. But I feel its wrong)

Comments

  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
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  • mama_underpantsmama_underpants
    Lol. The guys right? I feel tho, if at least one more time try, I feel like I will be hurting my daughter for him not being around.
  • mama_underpantsmama_underpants
    @praying4our3rd. Yea, I'm 27 weeks. He told me to abort from the second I found out I was prego up until I stopped talking to him...
  • Rissalee7Rissalee7
    id leave him out of it since he obviously didnt want the baby u kno. plus its not like u can go for any kind of support while married and i thnk not sure 100% that your husband will still be considered his responsibility cuz it was concieved while married to him....not sure but id double check the laws
  • mama_underpantsmama_underpants
    Yea @Rissaless7 it will be considered my hubs, unless the guy wants to petition the courts, which would mean the guy wld have to pay child support. The only thing is, is, its gonna be noticeably not his. Were caucasion, and the guy isn't. ....
  • mama_underpantsmama_underpants
    @praying4our3rd. He isn't telling me now to abort, I haven't spoke to him since janurary....I just plan on seeing/talking to him tonight.......
  • ExcitedForOctoberExcitedForOctober
    agree with @praying4our3rd
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
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  • mama_underpantsmama_underpants
    Its not to late for him to be involved with his daughter.......I guess I'm utterly confused. Part of me wants him to be involved with her, and part of me wants to say he"ll never know her or see her. Idk
  • Rissalee7Rissalee7
    @mama_underpants then to anyone who says something say you used artificial insemination or invetro its really not their business about what happened when u seperated and then got back together....i guess let him know that you didnt abort and leave it at that.....
  • mandac10mandac10
    men are sperm doners from time to time i guess... if anything theres always adoption. if both of you are on page. abortion is murder any way u look at it. adoptions is the answer as long as its to a gay couple :p
  • breewashington08breewashington08
    If u feel in ur heart that u want this baby, an he still says no then u still do what YOU want to do. If he chooses to not b around he can sign all his rights over an he can b done. But I agree with @praying4our3rd its a little late now
  • cdswimcdswim
    You should hear him out first. Make the final decision yourself because it's your body and he should have protected himself if he didn't want to deal with the responsibility.
  • mama_underpantsmama_underpants
    I guess my prego brain didn't excatly write it the right way. I'm 27 wks, I wld never abort, and I'm keeping her. But he said to abort. The thing is, if he does want now a part in her life, it shld be my say right? And on my terms, especially considerfing it will be considered my hubs......
  • cdswimcdswim
    Oh. That's wayyyyy too late. No way!
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  • wiseccourtwiseccourt
    If he wanted to be involved im sure he would of gotten in touch by now if your hubbie is willing to take and call her his own leave it at that no need to have the other guy on the pic if he truely doesnt want to be
  • jalemjalem
    Before you meet with.him write.out a contract or two reguarding care.of your daughter one stating he does not want to be a part of her life if the baby is his and that you both agree.no child support on his part because he asked to have the child aborted... and another one saying when baby is born a blood test should be done to determine paternity and visitation/childsupport to be determined at a later date... tell him his options and show him the papers get him to sign it it arrange a date to go to a notary to.sign it ... well that's what i would do
  • MikeandRonAdoptMikeandRonAdopt
    @mama_underpants ... It's your body and therefore you're decision. It doesnt matter what either of them say. Do what feels right to you and just remember that you have options... Good luck!
  • valentinasmommyvalentinasmommy
    Personally,ill say Fuck you.I'm keeping my baby.I don't give a damn.I wouldnt abort my baby because of what some jerk says.Fuck him and keep it moving.and he shouldn't have had any sex with you or should have used protection.
  • Jaime77Jaime77
    Your body, your choice. I divorced the only man I ever slept with, and finally starting seeing someone else. Didn't take but a few months to become pregnant. He freaked when I told him, and said well u have options. I never told him about my son that passed away. He came around after that, and we are just great friends and determined to coparent the best we can. He's excited now :)
  • 2lilblessings2lilblessings
    If ur hubby is willing to take care of that baby I think u should leave it like that
  • 2lildivaz1prince2lildivaz1prince
    Wow reading ur story reminds me so much of my own situation...dnt knw wat I'm gonna do...I'm having my daughter 4 sure but these 2 men r wat I'm not sure about
  • paganmompaganmom
    I went through the same thing. I was married my hubby n I are caucasian but when we seperated I got pregnant by my black boyfriend. Although my hubby n I divorced the guy ran fast and hard. I aborted and wish I hadn't bc I still wonder if the baby was my husbands and not the guys. Long story short...don't involve the a##hole. He's only going to make life harder for you and your marraige. If your husband is willing allow him to step up and be the dad. I wish I had that choice...wouldn't be in the situation I am in now..
  • z_mommy_2009z_mommy_2009
    If he says abort its all u. I do however feel the guy should have some say if the tables r turned(woman wants to abort but he wants to raise the baby). U do whatever u think is best for ur daughter. If that includes him, great. If not, fight for her! Good luck mommy
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