Leaving your baby to cry???

bambi_bumpbambi_bump
edited June 2011 in Parenting
Quite a few people have said to me that as long as baby isn't hungry or wet it's ok to let them cry for a bit but I just can't do it. If my lil man is crying I have to try and make him feel better. Even when I want to I just can't let him cry. What do you think about leaving baby to cry preglys?
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Comments

  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
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  • bambi_bumpbambi_bump
    I don't rush him straight away but I just can't listen to him crying it makes me feel so bad.
  • vette_devilvette_devil
    No way! I could never do it, and not once have I had a medical professional tell me that my baby "needs" to cry. They DO say, though, that it is impossible to spoil a baby that's less than 6 months old. Crying is your baby's only way of telling you they need something.
  • valentinasmommyvalentinasmommy
    My friends baby was crying because of a thunderstorm and her grandma had left her crying.I never really cried as a baby and I have good lungs.
  • vette_devilvette_devil
    * I never let my baby cry it out, and my mom never let any of her 5 kids cry it out, either. All have perfectly healthy lungs. Your baby's lungs will mature & grow all by their little selves. :)
  • ViviyaViviya
    When my son was still an infant I did not let him cry it out unless I tried everything I could think of to comfort him and it failed. The only time I let him cry it out now is if we're driving in the car or if I know for a fact that he's tired and is trying to protest bedtime (he usually goes to sleep within 5-10 mins.). He's 17mos now but I started when he was around 6mos.
  • 1_mama_squared1_mama_squared
    It's important for them to learn to self soothe. I don't think letting them cry for hours on end is good but you shouldn't rush to pick them up just because they've been crying for a minute or two. Babies are smart, once they learn all they have to do is make a noise and they'll be cuddled in your arms of course they're going to do that. I'm a firm believer that babies need to cry it out sometimes. It's good for them and Good for your sanity. I'm not talking about newborns but by the time they are 3-4 months old they should be self soothing.
  • Rissalee7Rissalee7
    My dr gave me a list of reasons a baby may cry at the end it does say if above reasons are not y baby is crying sometimes baby just needs to cry
  • bambi_bumpbambi_bump
    I'm.constantly being told to let him cry or not to pick him up cos it's 'only making a rod for your own back' I have no idea what that means lol but my son is only 4 weeks old I don't feel comfortable letting him cry for more than 5 minutes or so n I don't see a problem if all he wants is a cuddle.
  • mrs_shumrs_shu
    @bambi_bump I think whoever said that to you means if you pick the baby up every single time for every noise(I'm not saying you do this) that you'll forever be holding the baby,never be able to put them down.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    Pick up your baby when he cries . As simple as it sounds. There are many parents who have been told to let their babies cry it out, for the reason that they must not rewars "bad behaviour" but newborns don't misbehave , they communicate the only way nature allows them to. Imagine how you would feel if you were completly uncoordinated- unable to do anything for yourself- and your cries for help unheeded. Also meeting your babies needs in first months are very important for the relationship that your building. Besides obvious reasons like diaper change ,feeding :..etc. baby craves your closeness. I would advise to invest on a sling where you will be able to do what you need to do and baby will be content since baby will be near your heart and also slings carry out the motion they have in their mothers womb. They feel comforted. I made the research on this and decided moby wrap is the best sling ($40)
  • Momma_luvz_her_4Momma_luvz_her_4
    I dont let my babies cry. @ashthurs look up k'tan I purchased that one its eaiser to use :)
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    Also it is easy for people to say cry it out because its not their baby. When you're a mother your baby crying will effect you in a big way. Your emotions. I remember my mom telling me she used to cry with me when I was a baby. Ohhh also bedding close to baby comforts them too. Cosleepers are great nowadays. DO NOT LET YOUR BABIES CRY IT OUT!!!!!
  • bambi_bumpbambi_bump
    Yeah I've been looking at the moby slings and I love all the different designs you can get them in.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    Healthy for lungs ? And what are you teaching an infant? You should be teaching yourself how to read baby cues , not ignoring them to make them better!
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    I just got one. Only worry I have is I hope I'm a quick learner and will get the sling on right. I also lovee the maya wraps , they look so cute:)
  • FateFate
    @ashthurs That's a really mean way to voice your opinion. :(

    @bambi_bump I love the slings! They are really handy and comfort babies extremely well!

    @Everyone I think it's ok to let baby self-soothe at a certain age. I wouldn't let a newborn self-soothe though. They are new at this thing called 'life'. Lol. I started self-soothing techniques around 5 months with my other two. Just because baby isn't hungry or wet, doesn't mean they don't need something lesser. Like attention, or maybe they have a lil belly ache. Mommy hugs might fix both of those! ;)
  • jcmommyjcmommy
    Leaving them to cry help their lungs to expand. They also learn how to console themselves which you will love later! If theres nothing wrong with him, just let him cry for a few mins then console them.
  • FateFate
    @OregonMama Well said, lovely. :)
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    Every pediatrician have different parenting techniques as well as every parents. Sorry my opinions came off as rude or harsh. I didn't mean that. Everyone has their own opinions and that's what I strongly believe in.
  • SurpriseBabySurpriseBaby
    edited June 2011
    I agree with all of the above. Lol I read a really good magazine article about letting babies cry once (I'll have to see if I can find the name of the doctor, he wrote a book about it). Basically, it said if your newborn is crying then (s)he wants/needs something, whether its just to be held or (s)he needs to eat. When they're so little even if they cry for attention and you go to them its not going to "spoil" them. But like stated above, as they get older they need to learn to soothe themselves. I personally agree with this, but also like somebody else has already stated people have different ways of parenting, so if you want to soothe your baby as soon as he makes a sound (not saying you do) then go for it. Whatever you're comfortable with. :)
  • HavingNumber4HavingNumber4
    @oregonmama I agree um ok listen the reason people are getting cranky obviously cuz you misunderstood cry out does not mean crying 4 hours it simply means after you've done all you can do about the situation then therefore it is ok to let your baby cry for a few minutes. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to c that if baby is still crying after four to five min. straight then therefore something is wrong as a mother we should be able to tell a difference in our children cry by the time theyre six mths you should know if the cry is for just to cry at the same time I'm not saying don't comfort or cuddle them and theres a difference between a cry where something is wrong. I can say that cuz I'm on#4 and I'm speaking from personal experience. 4 you mothers with the baby slings and sleeping with them you have to be extremely careful with a newborn when it comes to that cuz the pressure and the body temperature that comes from caring and laying with the baby can also cause bodily harm
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    Cosleepers does not harm the baby cuz baby is next to you in their own space. You're carrying the baby inside of you for 9 months , does the tempeture harm the baby? There are safe slings out there and if they are used in right way, they are amazing. First of all gives mothers comfort to go on with their daily lives. Other things is that most newborns are in a very observant state. Instead of crying , carried babies able to focus on the world and discover more so they have higher development skills and higher iq. Also develop much faster communication skills because they are in adults world in the same level. They are more involved in every sense. That is why recent study shows on strollers babies who are facing mothers instead of the street have higher iq level as well.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    I think you should cry a baby out when they are old enuff to differenciate attention and pure need. Newborns cry because that is their only way to express ''need" . If it was a 3 yr old crying for their way, that's a different case.
  • vette_devilvette_devil
    I'm with @ashthurs on this. I have raised my barely 3 year old daughter on this principal & people are constantly amazed at her abilities. Even her pediatrician, who said her speaking & cognitive skills are comparable to that of a 5 year old. Oh, and I co-slept with her too. It is perfectly safe if you follow common sense & use safety precautions. How come no one talks about the higher incidence of SIDS in crib sleeping or of all the recent cases of strangulation? It gets frustrating when people refuse to look at both sides of the issue & just condemn you for it. I did months & months of research into both methods. Different strokes for different folks.
  • laura536laura536
    I held my daughter all the time when she was a newborn. I carried her in a front pack. I was nervous about letting her cosleep in my bed, but she did sleep in my room until she was 8 months old. I could never let her just cry. She is a completely healthy, smart independent 5 year old now. You can't spoil a baby. You should be able to read your baby's cues at some point to tell whether they really need you or if they are crying for your attention, but I don't think that starts until after 6 to 8 months. You need to pick them up when they cry to teach them to trust you. So they know that if they need you, you are right there. Then they will have the ability to do things independently, because they understand you will be there for them. I don't think you are wrong at all for holding your baby, especially if it's only 4 weeks old!
  • magcawmagcaw
    @vette_devil I read a study where they looked at incidences of SIDS in infants who co-slept. The incidence was considerably higher when parents fell asleep on the couch with their infants, but infants who co-slept in a bed were equal to or below that of infants who slept in cribs. When they released their findings they said that co-sleeping in general increased the risk of SIDS...their reasoning was, basically, the general public is too stupid to differentiate between the two.
    I don't believe that letting an infant cry it out is a good idea under normal circumstances. I do think that there are instances, as they get older, where crying it out becomes the only option. But usually I don't think it's the best method, and for me it is always a last resort.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    There is also identified reason to sids , you can't conclude that it is higher in cosleepers. Most mothers will be able to attend to baby breathing pattern or anything going wrong when the baby cosleeps rather than having a noise moniter. Newborns cry in their sleeps in the beginning , mother needs to run off everytime she hears something. Makes mom life a lot easier , you can feed the baby immediately,comfort the baby with a touch. Mothers slept with their babies for centuries , there was no cribs back than. Now we have resources, great products out there to make sure baby is with us safely. You can always transition the baby to a crib. People fear that method of attached parenting promotes needy children , the fact is children who are raised with attached parenting are proven to be smarter and more dependent.

    Laura536 I totally agree with what you said. How can a newborn trust and build a relationship with you when you don't respond to a need and the ONLY way they could express that need is to cry for newborns. They have no concept of being spoiled but they crave mothers touch.

    I was watching this birth video and I realised after such a traumatic event such as being born, baby is comforted being skin to skin with mother. Being on her breast, hearing her voice and smelling her. Even as adults we are comforted by touch. Think about it. What would you do if someone cries, you hug them, pat them on the back. Its just soo simple. I dunno how everyone doesn't see this.
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