Whos my future lil cupcakes, father?

AmberCAmberC
edited June 2011 in Pregnancy and fathers
Hey guys, Earlier this week i found out im 6 weeks pregnant. It was kind of suprise, but now that im done freaking out. I CANT get out of my head who the father of my child is? ive been off and on with a bf for 3 years and just recently ive been trying to get over him, and been dating someone new. My ex bf is trying to pursuade me to abort my baby, and the new guy says hell step up and take care of it either way. What should i do? How should i think? Im not even sure i know who i want to be the father. I know ive made a huge mistake, but how can i cope? Itll kill me to keep wondering?
Advice?

Comments

  • mrs_shumrs_shu
    Only a DNA test will be able to tell for certain/for sure. You may be able to havr a test done when you're further along, othetwise you'll have to wait 34 more weeks.
    Good luck.
  • caroline8_pcaroline8_p
    First - congrats
    Second - don't feel like shit hun, there are lots of women who have been or are in this situation, and it'll happen in the futute too.
    Third - don't abort cause someone else wants you to!
    Fourth - adoption, while it can be difficult, could be a better option if you are unsure if you want your little jellybean. Plenty of people would LOVE to adopt a child! Including a couple here.
    Fifth - we are here for support. But just so u know up front, if u start talking abortion, sadly people will bash you and your decision. I'm not saying it to be mean, I've jyst been seeing it happen since fed

    Good luck.
  • lily_glzlily_glz
    Were you with both at the same time? (Not judging at all) if there was a couple weeks in bw the 2 guys then you could just count back to the day you could've been ovulating. How long have you been seeing the new guy?
  • mrr2114mrr2114
    @AmberC well first you have to ask yourself "Do I want to kill my baby?" Your ex is an ex for a reason. You seem to have found a good man to accept and love your baby even if its not his. You have someone to support you thru this time. I hope everything works out forthe best for you. And congrats on your baby.
  • Gunners_mommyGunners_mommy
    @amberc congrats love bug I think everything wrks out for a reason...
    There are tons of people out there who cant conceive and adoption is a wonderful idea if u are considering aborting it.
    Maybe later on you will change your mind :)
    I think I was told by my ob that you can get a dna test done at 6 months. After he explained it to me I changed my mind and decided to wait till gunners born (i wanted the dna test so my bfs family would stop being hateful)
    I hope everything works out for you and would deff rec. Looking at all your options. :)
  • AmberCAmberC
    I dont want to abort. It just hurts my feelings that someone wants me too. And yet hes telling EVERYONE including his mother that im pregnant! The hard thing is that my ex i slept with two days before ovulation but pulled out supposebly "thoroughly". & the new guy also two days AFTER ovulation! This new guy ive known since middle school, were friends but just recently started dating.
  • survivormommie3survivormommie3
    i would say a lot of thought would help you out. congrats btw! a baby is a blessing. and if you don't want to raise the baby, adoption is ALWAYS an option. i, personally, would want to go to stay with the guy who wants the baby either way. but... does he REALLY mean that? and the ex sounds like a fart head, so even if the baby is his, i dont think i would want him to parent or have rights to my kids if hes wanting you to abort it.
  • AmberCAmberC
    Yes exactly, and my ex already has a lil boy as it is. And my ex is extremely difficult to deal with. Hes really hardheaded and i kind of wish i never told him. And for the "new" guy theres no way to know for sure if he means it.
  • SurpriseBabySurpriseBaby
    @AmberC I'm glad that the 'new' guy is atleast willing to step up for you, that in itself says a lot about his character. I wish you the best! :)
  • SurpriseBabySurpriseBaby
    Oh, well in that case, I hope he is serious...or he's a jerk too. Saying something like that is serious and if he's not committed to being a daddy, he obviously shouldn't have said anything at all.
  • AmberCAmberC
    Hes a good guy, i just feel bad that i had to put him through this. I dont want him to get stuck with me.
  • 1sttimerarmywife1sttimerarmywife
    He sounds willing to step up, I don't think he sees that as being "stuck" with you...if you have a man willing to step up and be a dad regardless of the circumstances, it sounds pretty special...ditch the abortion loser, put your faith in God and it will all work out :) as long as you love yourself and your baby, who cares what anyone else thinks??
  • joyjoy
    I want to first say congrats, babies are a blessing no matter what. I know exactly how you feel. when my marriage ended I hooked up with a guy friend ive known since middle school. I just wanted to party and forget my ex. Well one day I partied too hard and ended up sleeping with another friend. I am now dating and living with the guy from middle school. He knows about the other possibility but wants to go forward as if its his, but if its not then he is done with me. Im sooo scared because I want it to be his!
  • AmberCAmberC
    Yeah i also want it to be my old friends. But i mean what can we do? I think i can do it on my own. Whether either of em want to stay. You can get pre-birth paternity test at 10weeks. But idk how safe it is. So im gonna wait..
  • rockinmommarockinmomma
    Here's what I would do, I would just be up front and honest with both of them and let them know there's a 50/50 chance that they could be the father. Hiding it until later is going to cause a lot more problems in the long run. Then just do you until you can get a dna test. Don't let either of these guys influence or stress you out. Its about you and your baby now, no one else matters. My bd wanted me to get an abortion too, so now I'm doing this 100% on my own. Its tough but you gotta do what you gotta do. Good luck %%-
  • momofSOONtobe7momofSOONtobe7
    edited June 2011
    Agreed oregonmama!!! The risks of having a dna while pregnant and not having something wrong for them to do the amio which is how they test (which hurts like hell) is very risky. Amios aren't meant for just a dna test. I think its pathetic of doctors to even offer that for just a dna test. I can see in some cases but not just bc you want to know. I had one medically done and my daughter almost died bc of the amio. She moved and the doc almost got her a couple times with the long needle. Id go with the true man and the man that wants to be a man and step up and take care of a kid that couldn't even be his!! Congrats btw
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