@ ITTYBITTY I THOUGHT ABOUT IT AFTER WRITTING THIS BUT I CANT BRING MYSELF TO HURT HER . I WOULD WANT TO KNW IF THE SHOE WAS ON THE OTHER FOOT . I DONT WNT TO BE CHILDISH AND SEND HER A FB MESSAGE , A TXT OR EVEN CALL HER . I KNOW ME AND I KNOW MY MOUTH AND THE WAY IT MAY COME OUT MAY NOT BE THE BEST WAY. WHT IM SAYING IS HIS HOLE FAM KNOWS HIS FRIENDS KNOW THERE MUTUAL FRIENDS KNOW AND EVERYBODY IS KEEPIN IT FRM HER . I JUS WOULDNT FEEL RIGHT TELLING HER BECAUSE IT MAY NOT COME OUT RIGHT AND I DNT HVE THE TIME OR ENERGY TO ARGUE OR FIGHT OVER A MAN I NO LONGER WNT TO BE WITH
@ashthurs I understand every point you are making. I think you're stating your opinion in a very adult manner. For the original post, I was a tad bit confused too. It did seem like you were with him. A complete misunderstanding. No need to get so defensive. I do see how hard your situation is. Maybe give him an ultimatum. He needs to tell her and be honest if he wants to be proactive in your daughters life. Also, what are your expectations out of this? You mentioned that you do love him. Do you want to be with him? I hope everything pans out for you
@ashthurs You're being disrespectful and clearly not reading her post correctly. You act as though she is still sleeping with him. It is not her responsibility to tell his gf. The point here, the only point, is that he is stepping up finally. Which is a GOOD thing. For you to attack her like that is completely out of line.
I was just wondering what she wants to happen...she said she loves him and that its not fair to be hidden. I agree. I think she needs to give him an ultimatum. It's not fair for everyone in her situation.@fate that's what I was confused on
@kcike812 well sorry i came off the way i did to @ ashthurs but she made it seem like i knew all along about her and I DIDNT AND NO IM NOT WITH HIM AND DONT WANT TO BE WITH HIM. i havent been with him since i was 6 wks pregnant. my only expectations is to have him in her life and for his support as far as i go if i wanted another guy i could go n get one but right now im focus on my girls . & thanks
@ Fate THANK U SO MUCH SHE MADE IT SEEM LIKE I WAS STILL WITH HIM THE POST IS MAINLY ABOUT HIM DOING WHT HE NEEDS TO DO , I THOUGHT HE WAS ALL TLK WHN HE KEPT SAYIN IM GONNA DO THIS AND THT AND DID NOTHING . I GUESS HE WANTED TO WAIT TIL HE COULD GET EVERYTHING AT ONCE N HE SAID HES NOT DONE HES ALSO HELPING ME FIX UP THE HOUSE HE SAID HE WANTS THE BEST FOR HIS BABY AND IM GONNA ALLOW HIM TO DO SO . THNKS GIRL
He needs to be honest and stop being a douche. It seems like he's scared and he just needs to man up. It's definitely not fair to you and your daughter. Hopefully its all taken care of before the baby comes. Good luck.
@kcike812 How was it confusing? It was plainly written out. A lot of women love their baby's father but chose to do the right thing and not be with them. That wasn't the point of her post. For people to tell her to inform his gf of the baby and the infedelity is wrong. All that will do is cause drama. No, her baby shouldn't have to hide, but it is NOT her responsibility to tell the gf. There is NO need for an ultimatum. Why threaten him and put the baby in the middle of the drama?? I swear nobody thinks about how it effects the kid.
@Proud_mommyof2 You keep doing what you're doing. Please don't listen to the nonsense. I think you're being very mature by not getting in the middle of your BD's relationship.
@kcike812 DONT BE SORRY HE IS ONE BECAUSE HE SHOULDNT HVE CHEATED ON HER WIT ME IN THE FIRST PLACE , N THE STATEMENT ABOUT LOVIN HIM YEA I DO LOVE HIM BUT IM NOT IN LOVE WITH HIM AND N DNT PLAN ON BEING WITH HIM IF GIVING THE CHANCE BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER HE WILL CHEAT ON ME
@FATE . GIRL I JUS THINK THEY MAY HAVE READ IT WRONG . IM STAYING DRAMA AND STRESS FREE LET HIM DEAL WITH IT. AND AS FAR AS WHT THEY ARE SAYING THERE JUS SCREEN NAMES IN MY BOOK DNT MEAN NOTHING AT ALL . THANKS FOR UNDERSTANDING
@ashthurs Obviously your still not understanding but its fine, ur stuck on the fact tht im not making it my business to tell his gf and tht im looking on the bright side of things . Guess ur life is prefect and u knw everything LMAO SWEETIE HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY AND LIFE
@ashthurs Calling her the "mistress" is attacking/belittling. Take your bad day attitude somewhere else.
@Proud_mommyof2 They did read it wrong and its annoying that she didn't apologize for making accusations about you being in a relationship. It's immature. Atleast the other girl admitted the misunderstanding. But you're right, it's just a screen name. I hope everything works in favor of your baby. I'm happy he's stepping up. >:D<
@fate Woah! I didn't say that SHE needs to tell the gf! I think she would need to just put the pressure on him and make him man up. Obviously it upsetting to her and it would be better to get everything out there before the baby is here. That was my point getting it fixed BEFORE the baby arrives so that there isn't drama between the babys father. She seemed like she was seeking advice and I just gave some. Sorry that you don't agree with me. It's just an opinion. Now let's all go on with our day
I never said that she should tell her. She knows that he doesn't tell her and she's going along with him cuz she's afraid to loose him. What I am saying to her. Ill try to make it very simple cuz there seems to be a lot of misunderderstandings. She has been with this man not knowing he was in a relationship ,now she clearly knows that he is and he is not telling the gf he is having baby with her. If you really think about childs welfare, the best thing for a child not to be hidden. I'm not sure she wants him full time too. He should come clean and break up with a gf. He is hurting both women. Gf on the other hand has no idea he is doing this. I'm sure she suspects but not fully informed. She knows that he's doing this , why let him get away? I just don't understand. Seemes to make sense to you guys? What I also said was this is the same as married men having women on side and women being with a married men. I think those men are deceitfull but women are in fault as well. Plus on her first post she jokes around saying " get a bulletproof vest " to this guy and also she knows that he is not telling her and clearly avoids the subject. Fate , would you really agree to a relationship in this sense, would you let a man keep you and your child as a secret or your just thinking were here to bash her and just trying to protect her. That's noble really but she's a big girl and needs to hear what she is doing wrong. She is hurting someone knowingly and she's not innocent. If she's really thinking about her kids she will do her best to fix this situation than just making excuses for herself.
@ashthurs you clearly read into her post what you wanted to see. Everything you are saying has absolutely nothing to do with her situation. She was with the guy found out he had a gf dumped him right away was already pregnant by then. How hard is that to understand? Her only concern was him not telling the gf about baby yet. That's all she is asking advice on. All that other nonsense you talking is irrelevant. She expressed that bd was stepping up and doing for baby now so what? He needs to do that regardless of his gf situation.
@ashthurs sounds to me you have been lied to by your man before. Its not the womans place to tell it. Its not her problem. If your man don't tell you what's up that's between you and your man.
I just think if it bothers you (it would bother me) I wouldn't want to feel like I'm caught up in lies. I would personally pressure him just because it would show him that it bothers me. That's just me though. It may get him to fess up or it may push him away. I just think you're already 36 weeks and he's waited long enough.
@ashthurs UR STILL NOT UNDERSTANDING WHN I WAS (DO U SEE THE WORD WAS THT MEAN PASS TENSE ) WITH HIM I KNEW NOTHING OF HER . HE TOLD ME ABOUT HER AFTER THE FACT THT I WAS PREGNANT . AND MAKING EXCUSES WHT EXCUSE HAVE I MADE . AND HOW AM I AFRAID TO LOSE HIM WHN CLEARLY IT STATES WE ARE NOT TOGETHER . IM NOT HURTING ANYONE I DIDNT CHEAT HE DID . DAMN GET IT THRU UR HEAD . @ kcike812 I DONT THINK SHE WAS TLKING ABOUT U OTHERS HAD MENTION TO TELL HER. AND IF I TELL HER WHT DOES IT FIX
I never belittled her but I did give an example as what mistresses do. I think you read the posts half way and explode on people for wrong reasons. Anyway like I said before what is right is right. If you fool around with a man who is involved, your already disrespecting your ownself. Nobody needs to do it for you. Also let me as you this. This has not anything to do with you but in essence you might make connections. let's say married men approaches you and you know he's married but still go ahead with a relationship, is only married men responsible for that marriage ( even thou he is a piece of doodle) or women who go along with this also need to assume responsibility? If women didn't know that's another case. Let's say he lied , been with her and she found out. Most women will break up with a men involved. If your choosing to be in a relationships with that men, what is that tell about you? Again this is just a case. I will like to know what most women will do.
@tlj2011 SHES READING WHT SHE WANTS TO SEE . I CLEARLY STATED ABOUT 3 TIME ME AND HIM ARE NOT TOGETHER BUT SHE DOESNT GET IT . AND SHES STARTING TO ANNOY ME
@ kcike812 I MADE A BIG DEAL ABOUT IT AT 1ST AND GO NO WHERE BUT TEARS ON MY PILLOW AND HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE . THTS THEIR BUSINESS ILL LET HIM HANDLE THE DRAMA
I am not responding you proud momy but they have been calling me names because I voice my opinion. So I have every right to repond to them.noone should think they have right to call me names or attack me. I'm not calling anyone names. I have been respectfull to you , your involvement and your kids. I have voiced my opinions not to bash you or hurt you anyway. I know why it might sound harsh because I am not sugar coating it for you and bashing only the guy who is doing this.
It all just depends on how you feel about it. If you feel its best to just let him deal with it more power to you. As long as you and your daughter stay healthy!
@ashthurs All of what you're saying makes NO SENSE! She has already broken up with him! It is not her fault that the guy cheated. She doesn't want him. So what makes it her responsibility to tell the gf? He has done this before, and he did finally tell the gf about it. She is a big girl, and she is doing the right thing. She is a spectacular woman for not getting into their relationship. The gf obviously isn't the smartest cookie since she has been through this exact thing and still took him back. Once a cheater, always a cheater. So who's the real fool here? Yes, she knows he has gf, but it's not her place to tell her that her bf impregnated her. To your question, would I agree to a relationship like this.... It's NOT a relationship. She wants her BD to step up, and that's what he's doing. For the baby, that's IT. Why do you want someone to be miserable?
@kcike812 It's not her place to "put pressure on him". He's not her boyfriend. She isn't responsible for his actions.
Please read I never said she should be telling her. For the last time it is not her place. But she shouldn't go along with his lies, or i guess that makes sense to you? Read her first post. She knows that he has a gf. And she knows that she is a secret so is her baby. What's so confusing about that?
Comments
@Proud_mommyof2 You keep doing what you're doing. Please don't listen to the nonsense. I think you're being very mature by not getting in the middle of your BD's relationship.
@Proud_mommyof2 They did read it wrong and its annoying that she didn't apologize for making accusations about you being in a relationship. It's immature. Atleast the other girl admitted the misunderstanding. But you're right, it's just a screen name. I hope everything works in favor of your baby. I'm happy he's stepping up.
@kcike812 It's not her place to "put pressure on him". He's not her boyfriend. She isn't responsible for his actions.