baby daddy wants nothing to do with it

ashabashashabash
edited February 2011 in Teen moms
I'm 19 years old and 9 weeks pregnant. I got pregnant by a guy who I only knew for a few weeks and after we had sex he stopped talking to me. When I told him I was pregnant at first he seemed happy and wanted to meet in person to talk about it. Then he started texting me telling me to not talk to him until I can prove that its his. His mom and sister have also been harassing me threatening to get a lawyer and telling me to stay out of their lives. Im not sure what to do about this situation, I've been very depressed. If he doesn't talk to me during my whole pregnancy i will probably terminate his rights and not put his name on the birth certificate. He is nothing but a drunk, sleeps around with different girls, and does not have a job.

Comments

  • misselfaemisselfae
    Sounds like a lowlife. You just gotta do whats best for you and baby! His loss at end of the day. Chin up lovely it will all be fine in the end. Xx
  • ashabashashabash
    Thank you. Yeah I know its important to have the father in its life but it doesn't have to be the biological father. I know I will one day find a nice guy who will play the role of daddy to my child and be better than the real father could ever be. I just met a guy who is close to my age and has 2 kids, he's very nice and makes me feel better about being pregnant because he thinks I'm beautiful even tho I feel fat and ugly and he knows how scary it is to be a teen parent. It's nice to have someone like that to talk to.
  • Proudmama102011Proudmama102011
    edited February 2011
    F him u dont need him god blessed you both and if he doesnt understand the importance screw him youll be just fine without him >:D<
  • rockinmommarockinmomma
    Im in a similar situation. My advice to you is leave him alone and when baby arrives leave his name off of the birth certificate and court order a paternity test and child support. If he's gonna play games and toy with your emotions then you are better off staying away from him. Don't let him or his family stress you out.
  • expectingbabynumber3expectingbabynumber3
    Am agreeing wit everybody else. Forget him. I went through it n now am happp. I met a man that was willing to raise my child like his own. Do wat is important for the baby. Good luck
  • Carters_mommaCarters_momma
    Im 18 and im 32 weeks & 5 days. My sperm donner tryrd to get me to have a abortion and I told him no and havent talked to him sence then. Thats when I was 8 weeks. I look at it like this I got the BEST part. & I wouldnt change it for the world. I love my son so much.
  • gabysmami2011gabysmami2011
    Im 18 yrs and 30 wks pregnant..my babys dad is engaged with baby mom numb 2...he was all for it at first and then one day we just stopped talking...i just saw it as i have the best part...i just learned how to move on
  • ashabashashabash
    He and his family have told me that if its proven by dna to be his then he will be there for it. But to me, that's not how it works. He needs to be there for me to go to my doc appointments, be there when I find out the sex, help me buy baby stuff. I feel like those are the most important moments and if he's not gonna be there for those things then I don't want him in its life. Also I'm afraid that if I make him pay child support then that means he can see the baby if he wants and I don't want him to even see it. He doesn't deserve to be a father.
  • ashabashashabash
    @carters_momma Wow! You are still pregnant and he already has another girl pregnant? When will men learn to wrap it up? I wouldn't be surprised if my babys father got another girl pregnant too
  • first_time_momfirst_time_mom
    @ashabash don't let that bomb and his family stress you and the baby that will cause problems for you all. Let him continue to drink his life away and sleep wit different chics maybe he will get more than a baby that he can't deny. Do this for me when you start feeling down look in the mirror and tell yourself damn I sexy and smile. Be blessed
  • KamiyasmomKamiyasmom
    Thats how my daughters spermdonor wuz an still is.From tha moment i told him i wuz gonna hav her he said he wantd nothin ta do wit her or me an he hasnt,he doesnt even kno her name an she will b 1 on march 11th.U hav ta b really strong an hav a great family ta support u ta mak it thru a situation lik that an have strong faith that u an ur little will b better without him bkuz u will.Ik its depressing an hella hard ta imagine goin thru ur whole pregnancy without the father of ur child bn there but if i can do it so can u an it will mak u stronger an mak u love ur child that much more.If u wana talk about ur situation 1on1 snd me a nbox msg an ill giv u my number.
  • Christina3Christina3
    edited February 2011
    I had the same issue when I was pregnant with my son. My baby will be four in june and his sperm donor hasnt seen him in years he has never once helped out or even called to check on him. my husband and I got together when he was 18months old. He also has a son the same age. My husband is my sons father and in about a month he will legally be his. (i left the guy off the bc and he even called my lawyer and said he wanted nothing to do with him) I am so blessed to have my wonderful husband who is my sons only dad.
  • jmaskjmask
    @ashabash I completely agree with you...he should be there through out the whole pregnancy...what's he going to do when the baby is proven to be his? Tell you he's sorry...sorry didn't do it pal...I'm 19 and I am 17 weeks pregnant but I have been with my boyfriend for a long time he just turned 24 and doesn't want to wait so mine was planned...but my brother is 18 and he has some girl knocked up...here's where it gets interesting...she is claiming she got pregnant the first day they met...so my family is questioning if it's even his...my brother doesn't want to be with this girl but he still hangs out with her and he goes to all of the doctors appointments and is excited for the baby and says even if its not his he will take care of it...that is what your baby daddy should be doing not hiding under his bed like a little baby...he should be taking responsibility until the test...I say kick the loser to the curb and take him for all he's got :) by the time he gets a job he'll be owing you so much in back child support he'll only get $10 of his check ;)
  • ashabashashabash
    @jmask That's brave and very mature of your brother to do that. That is what my babys father should be doing, even if he thinks it might not be his because he knows that we had sex many times unprotected and while intoxicated. He obviously doesn't have the common sense to know how babies are made. I know 100% that it is his but I wish he would be more mature and accept that I'm pregnant, he had sex with me unprotected, there's a great chance it could be his. He should still be supportive, because once he finds out it is his hes gonna regret not being there during my pregnancy. And I'm afraid to get child support from him because that means that he can see the baby even if I don't want him to , which I don't want him in its life at all.
  • lovingmybabygirls11lovingmybabygirls11
    I wouldn't say that I'm in the same situation but me and my kids baby daddy broke up october 29 of last year I was 4 months pregnant then I found out he was cheating on me everysince september. He has only been to the doctor with me twice and now he doesn't want to talk to me he doesn't even want to come see his daughter. I'm 33 weeks pregnant with his 2 baby girl he has only felt her move 1 time. Its hard to forget about your baby daddy cause you have memories of things y'all did together and your pregnancy emotions get the best of you. I'm learning how to deal with the situation but it gets hard cause he don't come and see my baby or call and see how she is doing. I hate to say but I still love him and always will but we have to do what's best for our babies and if they don't want to be apart of their lifes then that's their lost. He has no job and is still staying with his mama he is 22 and is about to have 2 kids he wants a hand out but I just recently went and got the child support papers so he is most definitly about to be on child support. I hate that my girs aren't gonna have their daddy there but things happen for a reason. God has a plan for everyone and if raising our kids alone is apart of it then so be it. I just met an amazing man he calls my daugher to see how she is doing and talks to her on the phone every night. So don't stress it. But it will be times when you sit back and think damn I wonder how it would've been if he was here to see the sex of the baby and feel it move. I wis you the best of luck. And that when u see ur baby you are gonna be so proud and a wonderful mother.
  • tashaizaqttashaizaqt
    My mom and dad broke up when I was 3months old...my mom was 17 and raised me alone my dad didn't help much and didn't pay childsupport often. And I was better off being w my mom! One awesome caring loving supportive mama is better then a dead beat dad who doesn't care I'm now 25 and know that everything my mom struggled for was for my good and we have a wonderful relationship she's my best friend! I'm 29 weeks pregnant and she's been to every docs apt w me! So you need to do what's best for your baby! Good luck!
  • MrsVMrsV
    I had my daughter at 19 ,whos now about b 4 ...i had on n off relationship with her dad till she was 3months ,he actually left bruises on her ,i kickd his ass lockd him up he now owes over 11,000. In child support But yet has right fight for visitation although hes not takin care of her AND has right to get me lockd up if I move outa state....so honestly u need to think bout wAT Ur doing ,a baby is not gonna make him man up,n not gna make him wanna b with u ,da drama has begun N WONT END unless u do disapear n leavem a lone for couple years not months till u have urself situated!...ive been through hell n bk to da point I didnt even want c my daughter who I love, but the fight just cuz I had her n was doin good for her was rediculous ...now im 24 jus got married my husband been raisin her for 2 1/2 yrs n she calls him daddy im 9mth preg with our son ,i wasnt lookin for dad or a man I was wrkin had my own apt n doing it allll bymyself ..n I have grown so much ... N still always going to court cuz my ex always takin me to court misery loves company ...my daughter doesnt even know him!.....think bout wat your doing ur whooooollllle life gna change n all it sounds like is u want him n he doesnt want a part ...y set urself up
  • MrsVMrsV
    O btw child support or not he cld still fight visitation
  • ashabashashabash
    Yeah like I said, I'm not putting his name on the birth certificate because I don't want him to even visit the baby. I don't want drama. And Im glad that I never had feelings for him, because we were never together. It makes it that much easier to keep him out of my child's life. I can be mommy and daddy and I know if my child only has me in its life, and with me brig so young, we will be very close. And that's what I want because i have never been close with either of my parents or anyone in my family for that matter.
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