@ashley_smashley - yes he can be a dick!! He doesnt care to notice when i leave because he "knows i will always come back" He got really upset when i left once right before we found out about the baby, but we worked threw that issue and i was home 2 days later. so now he thinks no matter what happens i'll always come back. the only time he is like this is when we fight which the last few weeks has been about every day. But normally he is very loving and caring. It just seems like i have to go to extremes to get him to understand that there is an issue.
@momof22be I agree..if we all had strength..I just get upset when I see women allowing themselves to be treated poorly by their men. I wish that all of us women could really find the strength to love ourselves and not allow people to walk all over us..and to realize that you should never allow a man to make you feel less than...
@momof22be - lol that he is!!! he is obsessed (sp) with that thing and not for just sex he has gotten a flashlight out and went exploring in a "medical manner" before well multiple times. We are normally very open and loving with each other but I just hate going to bed mad and well he didnt seem to have an issue with it tonight.
I agree with @ashley_smashley. It's just upsetting to me to see a woman being taken advantage of. My husband has a drinking/drug problem that he's struggled with for years. When we met, he was 3 years completely clean. I love my husband, but I don't like him when he's messed up. It gives me nervous breakdowns and anxiety attacks when he drinks. I finally had enough and told him, "This will be very hard for me because I love you so much, but if you drink one more time, you'll lose me and our son." Since then, he's been a lot better. He knows that I'm serious too because I beat myself up for not leaving my cheating ex and I refuse to make that mistake twice.
@ashley_smashley - He is normally not the type to make me feel bad or put me down in any way. If it were to become an issue and he was not willing to get help then yes I would leave in a heart beat. I am willing to put up with a lot as long as he is willing to work on what ever the issue may be. My biggest issues with what happened tonight are:
A.) I'm dealing with a man whos view on porn was a mardi gra video of some women shaking her tits at a camra when we 1st got together. and the day he moved in with me he left that "porn" video on his roomates couch.
B.) the pictures are of his cousins wife. Someone we both know. and i personally never wanted to see her naked. and
C.) He clearly has had no intrest in me for a while now (i am always the one to make the 1st move and he used to complain that i didnt ever make the 1st move) and even when i try i am not always "rewarded" so are these picures why our sex life has almost compeley stopped?
I love him more then i ever though i could love anyone until i found out about our baby. and If we are having issues in such an important part of our relationship now it is only going to get harder once the baby comes. which is not much longer.
@momof22be - I dought any more comes of it, with the way he was ignoring me. But i'm gonna try to get some sleep i have a long day tomorrow with Dr. appointment and getting baby stuff done n all. I'll let you know how things turn out though.
I'm sorry but I totally agree w @mrs_shu if he's lied to u n held onto these pics the whole time u shouldn't be the one to apologize or try to make it better. Uve already told him before. Now u do something about it n send those pics to his cousin And his slutty wife.
@momof22be - well he's most definitely guilty. I got woke up to a huge breakfast in bed with OJ. (He hates having douse in the bed) He even sat n talked to me about work while I ate. (Normally he goes n plops down infront of the TV) now he's talking about how HES gonna clean the house n I'm gonna sit n tell him what needs done. Its not the "I'm sorry babby I know I messed up" kinda apology I was looking for but its the closest I'm gonna get n its one I'm happy with. Thank u for ur. Help last night!
I'm okay with my fiancee looking at porn. Sometimes it drives me nuts, but especially recently, I've been approving because I know he needs his own time when I'm just 100% not in the mood, don't want to be anywhere near a penis.
But if there's anything that I see wrong, it's lying about it. That's when it has the potential to turn into something else.
Porn is different than having naked pics of a girl he knows! And I'm sorry but i would never have some guy take nude photos for me (who does that?) and if that's the case why does he have them and not her if they are polaroids? Its not like polaroids make copies?! It sounds like they had a sexual relationship at one time and he doesn't want there to be drama about it so he came up w/ some BS..... and i had a fiance who cheated on me w/ women all over the country let alone 2 hrs away. Even the best guys lie sometimes...I'm not trying to worry u, just being honest honey cuz I've been there
I'm in the middle; I don't have too big of an issue with porn, but pix of his cousins wife- no matter how old- is just plain sick & wrong. And the lying about it makes it 1000x worse. That is a REAL person both of you know, who he could have access to physically (even if it's seldom). I would definitely have destroyed them, regardless of if they were crumpled in the trash... and I would have made a much bigger deal out of it than you did, honestly. I think an ultimatum would have come out & I would have meant it, too. I personally think the sucking up today is almost as disrespectful as the act itself & I never even let my hubby suck up when he's been a jerk. I tell him I'm not interested in anything but an apology...
@BellaReust - well he was a virgin when we 1st got together so them having a past sexual relationship (that involved intercourse) isn't likely. But he was "physically" active. So if they had fooled around I wouldn't be shocked. But I do trust him as far as cheating on me goes. I don't think he would he knows he would loose me and our son. As far as the pictures go he knows he was wrong n he feels bad. So I'm not gonna rub it in. I just want to move forward And find ways to bring our relationship back to where it was before we started having issues in the bedroom.
@vette_devil - he know at this point I'm not really interested in physical contact with him at this point because I am so repulsed and upset that he still had them. And I do know for a fact they are gone. I got up this morning after he left for work got them outta the trash n cut them up then watched the trash men hall them away. Think its the 1st time I've ever been glad to see the shirtless man with his but crack hanging out.
I would just walk up to the bitch and hand it to her next time u guys see her, in front of whoever is there... lol... id be pissed as well though Hun. So if u need to, ask him more about it to clear your mind. It may stink but try to just stay calm so he feels like he can be honest.
Lol! I would feel the same way... I'm glad you know they're gone... I just hope for your sake that that was all of them! It would be hard for me to believe him for a while, but that's because I've been cheated on 3 times by exes & was always too stupid to see it clearly at the time. Good luck, hun.
Comments
A.) I'm dealing with a man whos view on porn was a mardi gra video of some women shaking her tits at a camra when we 1st got together. and the day he moved in with me he left that "porn" video on his roomates couch.
B.) the pictures are of his cousins wife. Someone we both know. and i personally never wanted to see her naked. and
C.) He clearly has had no intrest in me for a while now (i am always the one to make the 1st move and he used to complain that i didnt ever make the 1st move) and even when i try i am not always "rewarded" so are these picures why our sex life has almost compeley stopped?
I love him more then i ever though i could love anyone until i found out about our baby. and If we are having issues in such an important part of our relationship now it is only going to get harder once the baby comes. which is not much longer.
But if there's anything that I see wrong, it's lying about it. That's when it has the potential to turn into something else.
I would definitely have destroyed them, regardless of if they were crumpled in the trash... and I would have made a much bigger deal out of it than you did, honestly. I think an ultimatum would have come out & I would have meant it, too. I personally think the sucking up today is almost as disrespectful as the act itself & I never even let my hubby suck up when he's been a jerk. I tell him I'm not interested in anything but an apology...
Good luck girl... ugh! Men! Lol
Good luck, hun.