@3rdangelontheway Oh wow! I wish you luck with your situation as well... What have you decided to do? In my situation, he is 4 years younger than me. And when we met, he'd just come home from the "college dorm life", right into the role of step dad. I've always wondered if that would become a problem later...the fact that he went from college life to fatherhood immediately. But that doesn't justify cheating. He could've left, if he wasn't ready for all of this
I went through something like that with hubby sort of. He was looking at porn and I foumd it ij the history. He denies it at first. And then I believe h felt so bad about it he went to one of the pastors in church and told him and pastor had him tell me he felt really bad and was in tears that he did that. I forgave him for it it took me a long time to trust him. That happned about 6 years ago. I trust him now because he had to prove it. I know its hard because you feel rejected. That's how I felt but we did do counseling and it helped us so much.
thanks i need the luck girl im just soo confused... i haven't even made a decision nore am i close to one ugh this sucks... that's the same thing i kept telling my kids dad that he couldve just left and i kept asking him y risk your family and everything we have together if we mean so much to you.... because we had just got a house and a new baby engaged and was doing good as well. i totally know how you feel... its never right no matter what the situation is there is just no understanding it,but i was just saying i left everything and when i say everything i mean everything hell even some of mine and the kids clothes i started from scratch when i left... thats how bad he hurt me and depressed i was,but you know what i miss everything we had i mean besides him cheating everything else was sooo good as a family and i miss the heck out of that..maybe you bd is just young and dont know what he has like mine was.... if im not mistaking you said he cheated once... so i would say don't lose faith in him so quick this might just be a test in your relationship before your married,but i will say if you stay let his a** deal with the hurt of thinking he might have just really f'd up and might lose the best thing he has ;-)
@jlobaby I'm due 9/9/11 and you postponing it is totally understandable! It's supposed to be hot as hell tomorrow in jersey(well for me anyway since its an outside shower)! I hope everything works out for you and your new little family
@Chels: That's my due date! AW! What are you having? I'm having a boy...It's been super hot here too... but I've been so upset the last few days...The shower was going to be great! We were having a baby-cue (bbq) at a really nice park with a bounce house, face painting, cotton candy, snow cones, bbq, water spray park, the works... I canceled everything the day I found out... I probably should've waited. But I was sooooooo upset..Now, the shower's at our new home, still having a bounce house, cotton candy tree, cupcake towers, Playstation Move, & sprinkler for the kids. At least now, it's indoors, so I won't be hot & irritated in addition to be upset, lol. I hope you have a great shower tomorrow
@jlobaby yay we have the same due dates!!! I'm having a boy also and his name will be Jacob Michael and your orignal baby-cue sounds freaking awesome but the new baby shower still sounds great too! I'm actually having 2 baby showers tomorrow is my first shower my mom is throwing me and its a pool party shower and she waited until like a week or two before my shower to send out the damn invitations! No one RSVP'd! Tonight she.called my aunt and was like um hey can you make cupcakes!!! WTF?! I'm so angry and she is making tuna fish for the main meal. Um ughhhh I'm absolutely dreading this baby shower tomorrow...but i am looking forward to my other shower my stepmom is throwing me august 14th it will be great so um yeah i really want to come to yours lol
@Chels: Aw, lol... thanks for taking my mind off of this crap going on in my life right now... My baby's name is Landon Marchello (the middle name is the same as his dad's)...That happened with my shower too, my mom & one of my friends offered to host it... After a month of no progress, I took it upon myself to make the invites, reserve everything,etc...smh... I'm ready for it to be OVER
Ahhh girl I'm so jealous! I wanted landon michael(Michael is my fiance's middle name) but he didn't like it then I wanted Aiden Michael, Ethan Michael or Ian Michael but NO. We couldn't agree on anything but Jacob Michael. And I'm glad I took your mind off of your problems I'm just so excited that i found someone who I share the same due date with and who is having a boy too!!!
My DH and I went through this exact thing.. I know exactly how you feel and even tho time has passed and we've moved on periodically when things remind me of it I still cry at times. It's gotten better tho.
I know my DH has learned from it and regrets it so much. We had a blow up at the time and I put him out.. so he was hurt and called an old fling.
It took a few months to be able to think past it and forgive him.. but I knew I loved this man, he regretted his fuck up and only wants me and his family.
He told me what he done when he moved back home that week.. after I saw some email messages from and to her that week. He came clean right away, told me he wanted to be totally honest because I deserve the truth and he wanted everything to be right. That week He deleted every FB, my space.. email and IM. He even turned his cell off and got on my plan so if I wanted to see who he was talking to I can.
Things are much better and I'm glad I stayed and worked it out. We just had our baby 2 weeks ago (his first child) and he's an awesome step dad to my other 3 kids... And a great provider.
Don't leave him... Stay! But make sure he knows your hurting.. and make him rebuild that trust.. work for it.
But you also have to have it set in your mind that you love him, want him and want to get pass this.
I feel your pain! The hurt will never leave but I will promise you it will stop hurting as bad.. and eventually it will stop hurting as often. I'm sure his good out weighs this.
oh wow..I'm so sorry that you have to go thru this betrayal especially pregnant. Its every woman's worst nightmare and is very painful. I've been cheated on and I couldn' forgive him at all. Some woman can forgive and move on but not me. Trust is so important and can be very fickle. I hope you will find a solution.
Comments
@feb2012mommy the name really grew on me i LOVE it now and you are so lucky because i wanted the parts that you got!
I know my DH has learned from it and regrets it so much. We had a blow up at the time and I put him out.. so he was hurt and called an old fling.
It took a few months to be able to think past it and forgive him.. but I knew I loved this man, he regretted his fuck up and only wants me and his family.
He told me what he done when he moved back home that week.. after I saw some email messages from and to her that week. He came clean right away, told me he wanted to be totally honest because I deserve the truth and he wanted everything to be right. That week He deleted every FB, my space.. email and IM. He even turned his cell off and got on my plan so if I wanted to see who he was talking to I can.
Things are much better and I'm glad I stayed and worked it out. We just had our baby 2 weeks ago (his first child) and he's an awesome step dad to my other 3 kids... And a great provider.
Don't leave him... Stay! But make sure he knows your hurting.. and make him rebuild that trust.. work for it.
But you also have to have it set in your mind that you love him, want him and want to get pass this.
I feel your pain! The hurt will never leave but I will promise you it will stop hurting as bad.. and eventually it will stop hurting as often. I'm sure his good out weighs this.