fiancee is thinking of joining the service military wife help please...
My fiancee and I have been together for 4 and a half years im 22 hes 23 we got engaged this past christmas but the next month we found out we were expecting so we decided to wait till after the baby to get married. Well ever since his friend came down from where ever he was stationed he has really been thinking about joining the service (im not too sure which branch) we talked about it a little and i told him once we get married i will go with him were ever he is stationed at no questions asked but i am scared oh and his mom has been telling him he should join but idk if she realizes that me and the baby will be going to so she wont see the baby as much. What im worried about is how long will we be away from each other im assuming when his in training i wont be able to be with him and idk if i could do that. Idk if i can be away from my family my sister and my niece shes looks to me as her second mom even tho shes only 2. Also is there any benefit in being married before he joins I know a lot of high school friends who got married after their hubbys joined the service and they had to wait to be with them but does being married already help any? I know being a military wife is really hard and i have so much respect for them but idk if i can do it im scared and nervous that he will actually want to join.
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@gladiator007 it feels like a hug decision that can really affect our lives and I know hes mentioned which branch but i can not remember either way i know we will be away from each other for some time.
@mandac10 thanks for being honest I want to know the good the bad and the ugly to joining the service so we know what we are getting into. I dont want to feel like im talking him out of joining i just want us both to clearly understand how our lives will be for the next 4 or + years.
About 5 months of living in base housing we were threatened with a five day eviction notice because we wernt getting bah. Also we are not receiving our cola pay and living offa less then minimum wage. Still waiting on paper work. Its hard n a huge struggle somehow my family keeps falling through the cracks. Its not like this for everyone but when it is its extremely hard to fix. What amazes me is it's just a few signitures that's causing my family so many problems. An easy fix but over a year later it has yet to be taken care of. We just almost lost our suv because finance messed up our allotments for our payment. If I didn't gave the mom I have our vehicle would've gotten reposested. Today has been very stressful for this army wife!
@caitiecakes thanks your story sounds so positive and i would love for it to automatically be like that but i know thats not how it goes.
from the military brat part, (and i'll be honest) i /hated/ it growing up... i hated the constant moving and losing friends constantly...but now that i look back on it as an adult, i wouldn't have wanted it any other way. i saw more of the world by age 10 then most people do in their entire lives.
the military wife part, well, you have to be a very strong woman to put up with it. depending on what field he goes into and what branch he could be gone a lot which could leave you in a strange place with a baby to raise all by your self... there are plusses though. you get to see the world and you n your family get to experience new places and make great friends (making friends with the other families in your hubby's units can sometimes last a life time) my hubby and i didn't work out, but i don't blame it on him being in the army... there was a lot wrong with our relationship before we ever got married.
anyway, that's my experience, i hope i could help some. :}
It really can be a great lifestyle, it just requires patience and flexibility.