Strip Club NPR Need to get this off my chest!

So me and my husband went out to eat with one of his married male friends and they started talking about how they are going to Vegas for work. They are both in the Air Force and they HAVE to go. Its not for a few months but they are going to be there for a few weeks.... Well they talked about it and we ended up having a "discussion" about it. By discussion, I mean that I wasnt being open-minded and I didnt understand and blah blah blah. I mean I literally felt like I was being attacked... But I feel like a married man has no place in a strip club... You'd think that my feelings about it and my opinion would have an effect on the decision... But no, hes going to be going with other guys and this would be a great bonding experience and they dont wanna be the guy who stays by himself all the time. HELLO I'm not saying you cant hang out with them, but why the hell do you have to look at naked women...

Not to mention I'll be home alone with a new born baby.... I cant go to Vegas with him and I probably never will go to Vegas.... It just makes me mad. I really felt like I was being attacked and stuff. I'm really mad.... If you want to get hard and fantasize about other women then maybe you should have listened to everyone when they said we were 'too young' to get married and commit ourselves to eachother. I mean to me, its the same as cheating if your having a physical attraction to another women who is in the room and you can in fact touch. Ugh. I mean dont get me wrong, I completely trust my husband and I know he would NEVER cheat on me.... But why does that make it okay to do this?

I'm just super aggravated because I feel like he shouldnt even have to ask..... He should just not go since I dont even feel like this is debateable. I really wish that my feelings were held to a higher regard that "but they'll make me and blah blah I have to be a DD for them so I HAVE to go in the strip clubs and cum in my pants to other women."

I'm just so mad. I feel like we shouldnt even have to talk about this. I mean I'm pregnant and my hormones dont exactly help me be calm about this. UGH. If you wanted to go to a strip club then maybe you should have married someone who was okay with it instead of marrying me when you knew how I felt and then tried to tell me I'm wrong later!!!!

RANT OVER. Sorry. But I feel a little better now. :)

Comments

  • Am I just being a nagging wife? :(
  • No, strippers r nasty. I don't my husband in a strip club. He shouldn't even WANT to be in such a foul place. I feel the same way.
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  • He should definitely be taking your thoughts and feelings into consideration. I know when I had my bucks night I got dragged to the strip clubs etc and can safely say having been then I really don't find the need to ever go again. It is a hard position for him to also be in, just knowing how groups of guys get with shit stirring etc.

    All tge best with resolving it peacefully.
  • @dadof2n1togo is right, don't forget the position he is probably in with these men. And all the Shit he'll get from them if he doesn't go.
  • @nicoleok87 @2beforgotten I try and be understanding and stuff but I just cant do it with this one lol

    @dadof2n1togo Yeah I know.... I cant tell if he's using his friends as an excuse to go or if he really feels pressured into going.... I'm sure he wants to go... I just have a hard time understanding the guy perspective of things! I try though lol men just make it hard.... It just kinda hurts my self esteem that he feels the need to look at other women. Ugh. I hope it gets resolved peacefully to!

    Thanks for the input everyone! Pregly keeps me from murdering my husband sometimes lol :P
  • @nicoleok87 yeah... after tonight with his friend I understand the shit he gets... but most of them are single men.... I'm just so frustrated I wish men didnt suck lol my husband only likes 3 people he works with anyway.... alll are married....... UGH
  • My husband really wanted to go to one for my brother's 18th. He came home and was like, never again. It didn't "excite" him at all. If you love him and trust him, and he's not making a habit of it, you might be over reacting just a bit. But he should listen to your feelings on it too.
  • My bfs coworkers wanted him to go this weekend. He asked me if I wanted to go with him. I told him to go ahead & have his fun...i mean the bby will be here soon & then he wont be able to go. He doesnt even want to go without me tho. I actually want him to go have fun. He never does anything without me.
  • Nope... I would be pissed too. He's going to Vegas for work not for seeing naked chicks! Tell him if he works hard enough then he wont have time for that crap. Plus instead of putting dollar bills in some girls g-string, how about using that money to buy diapers or formula!
  • I feel the same as u namely cause strip clubs are nasty! I dont want my man doing it.. I really dont want him wasting our money on that kinda thing.. But since he rarely goes out w/ frelnds I dont deal w/ it.. Id be pist! Men wast too much money on that
  • Your def not a nagging wife! like the other ladies said he should be taking your feelings into consideration. My husband is stationed at Nellis here in vegas and there is a program on the base called Airmen Against Drunk Driving and the number is 702-652-AADD. And available to any airman that needs a ride home while out drinking Friday thru Sunday. So there..lol he cant use the DD thing as an excuse. If he wants to go he should own up to it, and then he should realize that it would hurt you. I personally think that a married man should have more friends that are also married with his same values...its my personal experience that when a married man is friends with a bunch of guys that are single it only breeds problems (a MAJOR problem with me and my ex).
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  • Well it sucks that he plans on going to the strip club regardless of your desires. But atleast he was honest about it.
  • Can I ask why you cant go to vegas with him?

    My husband has gone with his friends when he was in tech school (hes in the af also). I told him to have fun. Its like watching porn. Which I dont have a problem either cause no matter what he comes home to me and I trust him 100%.
  • I don't agree with it either. I don't think its ok for my man to feel like he has to go to 1 to c other females naked. It makes me feel like I'm not.good enough to look at...n no I am not insecure at all. It's the same thing as porn to me. Neither r .ok. y would a man that's satisfied with his relationship feel the need to do all that. The only time he could look at all that is if we were not.together n not planning on being together in the future. I c it as a form of cheating too. No matter what n e one says, its not cool at all
  • I don't think you are wrong and personally (as my hubby is AF too) I don't give a damn what the guys at work say. My hubby went to a strip club in Japan and didn't tell me (before we were married). He was even on stage with a stripper get whipped. When I found out some 6 months later, I was pissed. His excuse??? Peer pressure...seeing as how he isn't in high school and was in his late 20s, I think that excuse is freaking stupid. A marriage/relationship is more important than what some other guy thinks.
  • Yeah... the friend we went with and discussed it was married to. He acutally went to one after his wife said no and they had a huge blowout fight.... So now he doesnt tell her and he plans on going to more.... I just dont understand.... My husband couldnt lie to me... I want him to have fun. I let him play video games until hes sick of it. I tell him all the time he needs to go out more with his friends and I dont mind I just want him happy. But a strip club? I'm really upset that he would ever want to hurt me like that... especially KNOWING how I feel about it... I mean if the guys really want you to go behind your wifes back, when shes at home by herself 16 hours away from home watching OUR newborn son.... then maybe they arent really friends and you shouldnt give a damn what they think.... And its a TDY and I'll have a newborn and we wont have any money lol besides he'd probably get made fun of becase his wife is there....

    My husband will only be 20 when they go... So he wont be able to drink... But he will be able to go to some strip clubs... It just makes me mad... Like this isnt the only time youre ever going to Vegas. I want to go eventually so its not like youre missing out on a lifetimes oppurtunity. Youre just missing out on naked women dancing.... UGH I just cant get over this... I mean I feel unattractive being pregnant as is... and his nagging and stuff about strip clubs just really hurts my feelings.... I mean he already turned down his friends about it once, whats the problem doing it again?!
  • I mean if he said "No... Why the hell would I go to a strip club to look at other women... When I have a catch like you waiting at home...." Would definitely make my day... I mean hell I'll send you pictures and strip for you over Skype... He knows I would... Ugh I'm just so upset and disapointed.... I really feel like this could really hurt our relationship :(
  • im going to have to agree with some of the other woman about the fact he does need to find friends who are parents and or merried .. it took a while to get it through his head .. but he finaly listended.. its not like i dont want him to have funn just cleaner kinda fun.. lol. but now all his friends are in the same boat.. so they finaly caught up with him..
  • @lae3 One of his friends has a child... and I'm pretty sure he wouldnt go to a strip club!!!! My husband has way too many single friends.... UGH
  • My hubs doesn't like strip clubs but even if he did I dont have a problem with him goin with the boys, as long as its not a regular occurance. I'm sure ur man would get shit from his friends if he didnt go but what's more important..them, or you?! He should be a lil more considerate to ur feelings. That is all :)
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