mommy had a mental breakdown

brodysmammabrodysmamma
edited December 2011 in Depression
Idk what its called whether its ppd or baby blues or just a mini breakdown. Here goes: Brody has a habit of peeing on our bed. Well it happened again this morning and I kinda lost it. I put him in his bassinet and put the sheets in the laundry again and I looked on the counter of the PILE of laundry that I have to fold and I kinda broke down. I grabbed the clothes threw them in our room took a shower and I threw the conditioner bottle against the wall really hard. It broke and I started crying. It could just be exhaustion. I go back to work in a few days and I have asked Brandon a thousand times are you going to get up with Brody at night too now that I am going back to work. He doesn't give me a straight answer he says "I already don't hear him " well fucking start hearing him! Does he really expect me to get up a thousand times with our 5 week old baby go to work @ 6am come home after a full days work and cook and clean and do it all over? I think I an starting to get depressed I sit in our room all day because I don't like our roommate I only go out to clean and cook. When he is not home ill venture out to the living room. I'm sick of people asking (including my bf) if ill get a baby sitter so we can go out for a night. If I get a fucking baby-sitter its so I can sleep. And I haven't fucking done that yet have I. So why would I waste a precious baby-sitter on drinking? I would clean house and sleep. I seriously for the first time today thought I can't do this. Motherhood is not for me. I love my son so much I'm sitting here talking to him and starring at him and bawling my eyes out. I don't want him to go away but Idk how much longer I can do this. What am I going to do when I go back to work? I don't care if I get a response I just needed to get this out and have no one else or no where else to talk about this.

Comments

  • erikamrscollinserikamrscollins
    @Samantha I'm so sorry honey I know how you feel I work 3am-11am and I kno its hard my BD doesn't help do shit so its hard but you can do it
  • ExcitedForOctoberExcitedForOctober
    I think maybe being a stay at home mom is not for you. Its not for me either, I don't want to leave my baby at all and I dread the day I go back to work for that reason but I know I cannot be a stay at home mom. Hope you feel better soon.
  • mommy2now3mommy2now3
    I did the same thing with my first I sat on the edge of my bed and cried while holding my crying baby. My mom was my saver I still lived at home still so she took him so I could sleep. Maybe getting a babysitter or a friend to watch him so you can sleep is a good idea maybe if you can catch up on a little sleep it would help. It gets better really it does
  • Mimii36Mimii36
    edited December 2011
    I understand. My bby is 3 weeks & im going back to work soon. At first I didnt mind him not being up with her because I was breastfeeding & I felt like it was no need for him too. But this morning I got a little annoyed. I understand he works & I dont BUT..he gets off at 11pm..comes home & stays up playing the game or watching tv until at least 5:30am! Then he sets his alarm clock for around 11:30am but hits his snooze button til 1:30pm & has to be to work at 2:30pm!! Really? I have to stay up with her all night & then all morning too!? Im starting to get very annoyed! When I go back to work I wont get NO sleep!
  • myressa2011myressa2011
    I get it its been 3 mo for me and i had a complete meltdown on thanksgiving. I dread going back to school n wrk but i feel im gonna go nuts sometimes. I hate men sometimes. I wish they'd understand
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