What do you think of a man who...

lovemysofilovemysofi
edited December 2011 in Single moms
Hasn't bought a single thing for his 6wk old baby? Before she was born he didn't help provide anything for her arrival either. My family n some friends helped me with a car seat, clothes, diapers a bassinet etc. And my issue is he DEMANDS to see her on his terms. We're not together since he's controlling, manipulative, n verbally abusive amongst other things. I know he's my baby's dad but it angers me that he hasn't even asked me if she needs anything. Sorry so long. I just want opinions as to how to handle this.

Comments

  • mommahadababymommahadababy
    I'm in the same boat& until he provides he just will not meet my son..they want to take fb pics& make themselves seem like father of the year but can't pay...I DON'T THINK SO!!! Sorry i feel strongly about it
  • Lucasmama11Lucasmama11
    I wouldn't let him are her I would take him to court!
  • Lucasmama11Lucasmama11
    See***
  • lovemysofilovemysofi
    Yeah that's how I feel too. I'm unemployed n barely making ends meet. He once said its my fault he hasn't given her anything since I refuse to be with him. Can you believe that? @mommahadababy, yep he sent me a txt once saying he loves his baby. But yet he hasn't even got her a pair of lil socks. @Lucasmomma11 I'm seriously thinking about court.
  • angiedawndangiedawnd
    My babys father doesnt want anything to do with me or my baby, so when i deliver i will take him to court for support.
    If you take him to court he will be ordered to pay and will be given a schedule of how often he is allowed to see the child.
  • __wtff__wtff
    Sighs.... :-$
  • pnsw524pnsw524
    If he isn't paying for things don't wait to go to court.. he is a father if he wants to see her he needs to help support her!

    Taking him to court would give him a time when he can see her & make him pay. Don't just think about it...do it!
  • StarlillyStarlilly
    I dont agree! He is the father and he should nne able to his child without having to buy or give thing just to see his child.. Don't get me wrong he should support his child and I would take him to court to get child support! Maybe you can meet at a public place for a couple of hours so he can see the baby, without you having to leave the baby with him.. Plus it will look better for you in court! Jmo ;)
  • graciesmommagraciesmomma
    I have the same problem. My lo is 8 wks and has never seen or heard her father. He's been gone since I found out I was prego. Now he's actually taking me to court saying that she isn't his. How f*d up is that.
  • LeviLuv8LeviLuv8
    He should need to supply before he can have any say in seeing her.
  • lovemysofilovemysofi
    @angiedawnd Ok, I didn't know they'd also set a schedule for him to see her. I thought they'd just order him to pay child support. This is good to know. Thanks!
  • lovemysofilovemysofi
    @pnsw524 I know. The reason why I havent yet is bc he has 3 kids from a previous relationship n one time when I calmly asked him if he planned on helping out he first said, we'll imma need a paternity test first. Then right before the end of the convo he said, I already have 3 kids so REMEMBER they come first. I was so hurt n disgusted by his comments that I thought screw this, I'll support her myself but it's so hard!
  • lovemysofilovemysofi
    I'm just so disappointed in myself bc I chose this man after being single n in peace for a few yrs n he ended up being such a douche ugh!! He threatened to take her away from me when I was pregnant idk how many times. He said I didn't deserve my baby n that I have nothing to offer her but yet I'm the one w a house. I lost my job in may so he holds that against me but my unemployment is just as much as what he makes. I just pray that I make the best decision for my baby girl.
  • pnsw524pnsw524
    Well the way I see it is court will make it so he doesn't get to choose his other kids 1st. If he doesnt want to take care of her then he needs to sign his rights away so you can do it on your own with out his crap. Your little girl doesn't deserve a half ass father and you don't deserve a shitty baby daddy. So take him to court so he has to step up oooorrrr get him out of her life completely. The fact he has 3 other kids doesn't excuse him from his responsibilities. If you can't afford them or don't want them make sure you junk is wrapped up tight.

    I'm not trying to be mean but dead beat dads and men the don't respect woman drive me crazy. Lol
  • TxMommy93011TxMommy93011
    In Texas child support is seperate from custody court. So here you can put the father on child support with out viditation rights. & if he's not on the birth certificate he has no rights to the child.
  • TxMommy93011TxMommy93011
    Visitation*
  • StarlillyStarlilly
    I just think that's ot wrong to keep a child from his father cause he didn't buy a pack of diapers.. So when your kid get solder and wants to know why his dad is around or he dosn't get to see the child you would tell them....? that's not fair to the child, take you baby daddy to court and get child support and vistation taken care of, then if daddy doesn't come around that's on him.. jmo
  • lovemysofilovemysofi
    @graciesmomma girl I'm sorry yo hear that. What a douche! My bd would talk crap n ask for a DNA test n then the next min he'd threaten to take her away. But in ur case he's gonna end up looking stupid once it's proven ur baby's his.
  • lovemysofilovemysofi
    @pnsw524 I don't think ur being mean. I completely agree.
  • lovemysofilovemysofi
    @TxMommy93011 I happen to be in TX n no he's not on the birth cert. So if he's put on child support he doesn't necessarily have a right to visitation? I don't mind him seeing her it's the way he goes about it as if he can see her whenever he wants. Would I have to get a private Atty to get visitations in place? Ugh but an Atty will most likely be expensive. :-/
  • TxMommy93011TxMommy93011
    Since he's not on the birth certificate technicaly he has no rights to her. If you want to go to the courts & set up dates for visitation with him I think that's easier. But he can always take you to court to fight for visitation rights.
  • lovemysofilovemysofi
    @Starlilly i get what ur saying but it's also not fair that only I have been providing completely for her n he's just like whatever. N I really don't mind him seeing her but it's the way he is. He's very controlling n he wants everything HIS way as if my say doesn't matter bc he's the "man." That's why I needed advice as how to go about this especially when he threatens to take her from me.
  • lovemysofilovemysofi
    TxMommy93011 Ok so I'll do that. I want to have something in place bc I would prefer for us to work something out between us but he's sooo difficult to deal with like u wouldn't believe. THANKS!
  • lovemysofilovemysofi
    @TxMommy93011
  • TxMommy93011TxMommy93011
    Your welcome. Oh I believe lol my step daughters mother is a basket case lol but she lives across the state from us lol
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