Well if you are having the baby then a big fat congrats is in order!!!! He will come around! Like I said my bf is a worry wart too but he is happy now. He still worries if we will be good parents and if he will be able to take care of me and the baby but that's how I knos he will. Just wait to tell him and even if he freaks when you do he will come around! Especially when you start to show! Embrace the pregnancy from here on out! Its one of the greatest feelings ( im a first time mom and loving every bit of my new experience) all of us are here for you to talk to while you figure out your situation. Use it because there are great people on here with amazing advice! Good luck! CONGRATULATIONS MOMMA!!!!!!!
Kara... that's exactly why I'm stressed... bc I feel like I'm messing his life up. Bc this isn't where he wants to be right now. He wants to finish flight school and become a pilot before we have kids. And he already said he would be tempted to quit school bc of the baby. For financial reasons. And I don't want that to happen. I don't want to ruin his career.
Mama kat and first time daddy are right the risk are higher for all those things.my hubby's sis and there 1st cousin had a Daughter together and she is fine.she is extremely smart and just a very well rounded person.I say u can't help who u love and I wish u all the best :">
@Steeny THANK YOU. I would have to say you're the first to actually say congrats to me... my family was just like oh... and right away went into worry mode.
For one, I'm just gonna say I want to hug you for being so honest, open, & confident about your relationship. You can't help who you love & if you're loved back & happy, good for you (: now, baby talk!!! I have a feeling you'll want to keep this baby & your boyfriend will too. So after seeing a doctor, have a talk with your mom. Just make time & insist on a talk. No matter what, she's your mom & will always love you! & I think after your boyfriend is back, you both should sit down & have a talk with your stepdad. Just tell him you want his support & need to stay there until you can get things going for yourself. Pray about it & maybe he'll be understanding. Hope I helped. Good luck (:
no problem @Mama_Kat no problem. @kara_lamek I guess that makes them first cousins right. n I dont think its legal in california. but since we r related thru our moms we all have different last names so thats y thru were able to get married. altho. one of the kids. the middle one. has arthritis. did I spell that right? n not the kind cuz ur old. the genetic kind. he has had it since little. his joints always hurt
@hurts2cry well hes jus being a normal human n jus worrying abt providing for his kid. If it stresses u out to the point where u cannt take it i think u should tell him. I cant imagine how u feel speaking to him everyday not saying a thing. i think he will come around, once u make ur final decision. Men usually get freaked out in the beginning but def get used to it N i think u should really have tht talk with ur mom asap. I dnt think ur step dad should b able to kick u out without ur mom having a say
They will come around too! My mom who I am very close with was horrible to me when she first found out! I felt like I was in a nightmare! Everyone will come around! And if they don't then you don't need them! Tell your bf DON'T QUIT SCHOOL! That's how he's gonna be able to make a good life for the three of you. I would look into state assistance until he gets out of school. I hate to say this but bc you aren't married you will qualify for more. Do what you gotta do to make it work! It will all work out!
Totally just now seen the "you two have an apartment part." Lol & you know what? That's a good start (: just stay positive, find a job (one that won't wear you out bc girl, you're about to get tiredddddd just from walking to the bathroom lol) & then you'll be on the right track for your little family (:
@mommy3 I honestly have never once had someone say that to me. I seriously just wanted to cry reading that first sentence thank you so much! And I will gladly give you a hug
@hurts2cry I dont think the cousins thing is a big problem. cuz like ppl have said u can't help who u fall in love w. the issue is if u guys r ready for it. for a baby. u said u were already planning to move in together. but babies change things. if its meant to b it will b. n I hope things go ok for u. congrats on ur bfp n hope ur pregnancy goes well
@lucky7 its quite illegal in some states to marry lol. Some will only allow marriage if you're too old to have children and some only if you will go to gentetic counseling if you want children. And some only allow it if one of you is fixed.
Aweee.. only cry happy tears though!!! & I'm not judgemental.. I believe you should treat everyone with love & let God decide the rest! I try to always think that way. & plus, being a mommy to be, if my daughter/son were in your shoes.. that wouldn't change the fact I love him/her whatsoever & id be there for him/her. So, I'm gonna treat you the same!
@ProudMommie627 like I said my stepdad is a control freak. Has been ever since my mother married him. She doesn't have a backbone when it comes to him and never disagrees with him. She has chosen him over her children many times before and would do so again in a heartbeat. Which is the reason she told me not to tell him or let him find out. Because if he kicks me out before I move then that's it. There's no staying. Lol. Its his way or no way basically.
My mom and dad are first cousins, me and my sister were normal pregnancies, no complications in any way! And we dont have any problems either, normal as anyone else. The only thing I recommend is that you ask your obgyn to do a factor 5 leiden blood test. I was the first one to get pregnant and had 2 miscarriages, and then after some hormone treatment I was able to have my first child. She was a preemie and I also had preclamsia. Im pregnant with our second child and due to my complications on the first pregnancy they decided to do the factor 5 test and it was positive. Either my mom or dad are carriers, and it affects it even more that they are first cousins. I have to use blood thinners throught the whole pregnancy and baby aspirins too. Our baby girl is normal, and so far my second pregnancy is going well. I hope this helps!
I literally can't believe I found this app on my phone. It is a GODSEND seriously. Its like all the support I need You are all such wonderful people helping me out and encouraging me. I just want to say thank you all for everything so far. It means a lot to be able to talk to people that know what they're talking about. Bc both of the cousins I've told are both single with no kids. That's why I wanted to talk to my mom... she's had 3 kids. And I figured shed know best. But she keeps putting it off. Telling me to wait til the next day to talk. That's what she said today. And now tomorrow I'm babysitting my cousins children and I won't be home to talk to her.
I'm glad that you will be able to get out of that situation once you get all moved in with you man and friend. That is never a good place to be and it will help with your own stree which you really want to keep under control for baby. Don't like you man quit school! Please! It will be more benificial to you both in the future and you don't want him to possibily resent you if he was to quit. Hopefully he will be partially inclined to the idea if he keeps bringing up the preggo discussions with you so much. Hang in there love, things will get better.
Omg @SemperFiWife thank you sooo much! It helps quite a lot. And I know about factor 5... my half sisters father has it and both my sisters needed to get tested for it.
God knew you'd need us (: glad you found this.. its helped a lot of us quite a bit.. gotta be a friend to have a friend & for the most part, its like that here (:
Hurts2cry- he will think logically after the shock wears off:] things will be alright! Just make sure he doesn't drop him schooling because in the future for your baby you will need one of you at least to have a good career:) I hope I said that right. I meant that in a good way lol
Firsttimedaddy I know what you are talking about. I've heard of it before!
I will do everything in my power to make sure he does not quit school. We discussed this option many times in our relationship due to the fact that it requires him to live out of state for a few months at some point and the fact that I'm also in the national guard. He's afraid it will prevent us from seeing each other. I never once approved of him quitting. And I def don't now. I will not let myself or our child be responsible for that. Lol
my friend married her first cousin and they got 2 beautiful kids...ofcourse she had complications and all and cant have more but she did it! and so can u sweetie! I kno that whatever u decide to do it will b thr right decision for u all...i got faith that ur a strong women! take care and ill b praying for u and your precious baby:)
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CONGRATULATIONS MOMMA!!!!!!!
i think he will come around, once u make ur final decision. Men usually get freaked out in the beginning but def get used to it
N i think u should really have tht talk with ur mom asap. I dnt think ur step dad should b able to kick u out without ur mom having a say
Don't like you man quit school! Please! It will be more benificial to you both in the future and you don't want him to possibily resent you if he was to quit. Hopefully he will be partially inclined to the idea if he keeps bringing up the preggo discussions with you so much. Hang in there love, things will get better.
Firsttimedaddy I know what you are talking about. I've heard of it before!