@Mommyo4 I love you! Come be my sitter! Lol. Im a sahm now but was working and going to school full time from the time my son was 6mo to 3 yrs. We went through a ton of sitters and I could always tell the difference between those that took their jobs seriously and those that were just trying to make an extra buck.
IMO!!! I am a career nanny/ babysitter/infant care specialist and i love watching children so in turn i do hold and love on the children i care for. .that's what I'm paid for!! As a CAREgiver your job is to CARE for the child, not put it down & ignore it! I now have a 5 month old daughter who sleeps from 9 pm to 7am every night without waking up bcause we coslept with our child for the first 4 months. So she was able to quickly adjust to a schedule of sleeping through the night in the 2nd week...she would wake up occaisionally, see me, take a deep sigh and fall right back asleep, so i feel that it instilled a good level of security in her very early on...now she sleeps on her own and doesn't wake me up till 7am because she knows I'm gonna be right there she doesn't cry when she wakes, she'll coo but that's really it.... i don't let my baby just cry because crying is her only form of communication to us, now if we ignore that i feel it will just instill insecurities in my child, i want her to know she's always safe & we will always be there for her....... and NO she's not high maintenance! LOL
Ayva never cries when she wakes up she always plays in her crib and talks to herself sometimes for a good hr in the morning which allows me toshower an get ready before even having to give her a bottle. and ayvas probably the happiest baby i know. and i didnt cosleep and i used the ferber method
@bellareust just wanted to say like! @vtmamajuju lol...wish you live closer! But there are a ton of amazing daycare out there...whether they are a home daycare or center. Parents just have to do a lot of research. Background checks and licenses do not equal a good provider. You have to call past and current parents, do some drop ins, and trust your mommy instinct. I encourage new families to call my previous families and to come several times to make sure my daycare is a fit for their family. Im not perfect but I try to provide the care I would want for my babies.
@Mom2ING thats awesome! i dont trust my mom or my mil to watch my kids sadly lol. my mom was big on us crying and my siblings have emotional issues. i am a completely diff parent than her and i love that. i had to take alot of child psychology/child development classes in college, and i learned so many types of parenting styles and this works for us.
I take a little from each method and go with what works for us. I coslept with my son and my relationship with his dad took a big hit because of it and I really struggled with getting him into his own bed etc. My daughter and I do not actually cosleep but I fall asleep bf her regularly and put her in her bed again when I wake up. I give her all the attention she needs when she cries but if she us just fussing I will let her wait a little to see if she gets over it or if she really does want something. I havent worn either of my kids other than being in tge shops and using my sling. I feel both ny kids are happy healthy and secure
We use this technique. My daughter very rarely cries. She's a very very happy baby too. We get a lot of comments about how people can't believe how happy she is.
We're very attentive to her.. Shes 6 months and I still breastfeeds on demand. Daddy has skin to skin every night while I do my homework.
I'm not concerned about how a sister will deal with her.. I stay home with my kids.
Being a patent is a full time job whether u work or are a sahm I believe no form of parenting is 100% each method has its draw backs and its success rates I don't do the cry it out method my son gets too aggravated we co sleep and I wish he would sleep in his room but he is so dependant . I'm about to have another baby and I wish I could transition him because I'm going to try hard to get my new baby to sleep in the bassinet. My sob follows me with his eyes he cries if left alone. Its hard to get stuff done but like @WyattsMommy said he is only like that with me everyone else compliments me on his behavior
I also, am not a SAHM. You do not have to be a stay at home mom to attend to your childs needs. If my baby were to wake up during the night, I get up, no matter how tired I am. I work 40 hours a week, and am working on my masters degree. My husband works more than 40 hours a week and works on his bachelors. I use this method, and if I pay a babysitter they better damn well make sure that when my child cries for whatever reason that they are attended to. Whether they think it's a valid reason or not!
^ not true. me and andy had great parents but we sure didnt turn out great. andy was in and out of jail from the age of 14 and has done every drug imaginable and been in and out of foster home and in soooo many fights. but his siblings r completely different. and me. i was loved and taken care of but i was a bitch 24/7 been to juvie, threw a cd player at my little brothers head, constantly in fights, didnt give a shit about school or other ppls feelings. and my littl brother is completely different , hes outspoken but very emotional. so i do believe that ppl are born a certain way
I wish there was a like button for some of these comments. I am not a sahm but I also attend to ny son he sleeps on a bassinet next to us and ne and hubby switch on and off getting up with him he has his nights were he gets up once and nights where he's up a couple ti.e I figure if he's fussing he needs us. Our babysitter during the week is my best friend she runs an in home daycare she also attends to him as needed I wouldn't leave him with someone that didn't the one time I left him with another friend and she told me she left him in. A room and let him cry till he settled she'll never watch him again. Now my best friends 16year old watches him if we go out in the weekend we usually have datenight once or twice a month or when my hubby has performance where we can't take him. She's great with him and also very attentive of him I wouldn't leave him with someone that wasn't he's still little if he's crying he needs something even if it is just cuddles.
@ashleyfew I agree with neededing to walking away if you need a few minutes but leaving a 5 month old to cry till he stops or falls asleep isn't acceptable to me. I was livid.
@ashleyfew I agree to each their own if that is how the want to raise their children then so be it just because I it isn't for me doesn't make ut wrong. But I totally agree with you if hubby ever left Xavier to cio I'd beat his ass. I'm luckya I don't have to worry about that as soon as Xavier makes a noise he's running over to him I'm alway yelling at him to leave alone. If he's ok he doesn't need to be up on him all the time lol.hopefully you can get your so to understand that for you and your son cio isn't the way you want to parent.
I am not a stay at home mom, but when I am home, I tend to my children's every need. But, the impression given here is that if you don't do all of these things, then you're a bad mother and your child is going to turn out to be a monster. NOT TRUE!! My son was a very fussy baby because of GERD and colic. I did everything I possibly could to comfort him, and sometimes he still just cried and was inconsolable. So, when its come to that point and theyre bawling in your arms, are you still a bad person because there is nothing you can do? Is there really a difference between holding them while they cry or let them cry in their bed for a couple of minutes while you recoup??
I just feel like there is judgment from both ends here. I am not a bad mother because I don't jump at every whimper and whine my baby may have, but I will console them if they begin crying or continue to cry. My children are nurtured, are extremely well behaved, smart and very affectionate and considerate towards others. I think that yes, newborns need to bond and what not, bonding is amazing! However, if you're on the verge of pissing yourseld because you've been trying to console baby and they won't stop crying, do you think it will really be traumatic if you set them down for 90 seconds to relieve yourself?? I think not.
@LilSugarsMomma there is a difference between holding ot leaving them in bed, their cortisol levels are higher when not held and crying. cortisol is the stress hormone, if it is too high constantly on a growing brain, there are consequences. i am actually liking everyones point of views on this, just because i said somethinh was sad, wasnt me judging or bashing, i have a total different parenting technique, it was the thought of babies crying. i dont even let my own cry. dad soothes them if i need a break. not arguing, just saying..
i am attentive to my child. just because i do it differently doesnt make m selfish. i for one just choose not to have a child attached to my hip 24/7 and not b able to occupy herself.
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@vtmamajuju lol...wish you live closer! But there are a ton of amazing daycare out there...whether they are a home daycare or center. Parents just have to do a lot of research. Background checks and licenses do not equal a good provider. You have to call past and current parents, do some drop ins, and trust your mommy instinct. I encourage new families to call my previous families and to come several times to make sure my daycare is a fit for their family. Im not perfect but I try to provide the care I would want for my babies.
i am a completely diff parent than her and i love that.
i had to take alot of child psychology/child development classes in college, and i learned so many types of parenting styles and this works for us.
We're very attentive to her.. Shes 6 months and I still breastfeeds on demand. Daddy has skin to skin every night while I do my homework.
I'm not concerned about how a sister will deal with her.. I stay home with my kids.
Isn't this how functional patently should be.
I just feel like there is judgment from both ends here. I am not a bad mother because I don't jump at every whimper and whine my baby may have, but I will console them if they begin crying or continue to cry. My children are nurtured, are extremely well behaved, smart and very affectionate and considerate towards others. I think that yes, newborns need to bond and what not, bonding is amazing! However, if you're on the verge of pissing yourseld because you've been trying to console baby and they won't stop crying, do you think it will really be traumatic if you set them down for 90 seconds to relieve yourself?? I think not.
If you're not its selfish...
This baby spends 9 months attached to you...
i am actually liking everyones point of views on this, just because i said somethinh was sad, wasnt me judging or bashing, i have a total different parenting technique, it was the thought of babies crying.
i dont even let my own cry. dad soothes them if i need a break.
not arguing, just saying..