we decided on abortion, but im still confused?

sweetness06sweetness06
edited March 2011 in Pregnant
We came to the conclusion that we would have an abortion, I made my appt for Saturday but im still really confused if that's the right decision...I jus feel like were taking the easy way out father than giving it a try...I knw I wanna go off to school this summer & I planned on being married & finish w/school before I have children...but I jus see myself having another abortion... I'm jus really confused & sad..dnt knw what's right r wats best...
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Comments

  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • dobiemommadobiemomma
    In the end its up to u, but would adoption be a possibility? I understand that not everyone can keep a child and I'm no person to say "u have to". Is there some sort of pregnancy support group in your area u could speak with before Saturday? U want to do what is best for you and if u truly decide abortion, please be happy with what u decide. Don't make a decision if u think some where u will regret it, whether that be abortion, adoption, keeping baby. Its propably very overwhelming, but I wish u the best. Good luck.
  • mommy3mommy3
    I wouldn't do anything you're not certain about doing. Your decision will impact you forever either way, think on it, & go with your heart! I'm gonna pray for you & your baby.
  • MommmyX3MommmyX3
    I felt the same way you did when I was pregnant with my first. I was only 14 years old when I had her and that definitely wasnt part of my plan. Things changed...actually everything changed when I became a mother but my daughter gave me more of a drive to succeed. If you arent sure yet maybe you could just put the appointment off for a little while. You should be positive thats what you want to do before you do it. But I do want to say, if I could become a mother at the age of 14...when I was still a baby myself, then you can do it too. If you need to talk, please dont hesitate to contact me...
  • michelle3michelle3
    Im with navywife on that one, don't make the decision based just on him God blessed u with the baby and he won't give u anything he don't think u can't handle....if u feel in ur heart that its not what u wanna do then don't do it! A mother's bond with her baby begins while she is prego a father's bond begins after the baby is born if he is there! We're all here 4 u!
  • sweetness06sweetness06
    I have a regular Dr appt Thursday..I feel I shouldn't go cuz its jus gonna make it harder for me to go thru wit the abortion..I jus dnt knw what to do..but I dnt wanna wait in makin a decision like this I'm only 5weeks but I feel if I'm gonna go thru with it I better get it done sooner than later..thanks for the advice
  • sweetness06sweetness06
    i jus dnt wanna b stuck raising a child alone...he says he'll support any decision I make but I honesty feel like he wouldn't..he acts like abortion is the only option regardless what I say or how I feel
  • mommy3mommy3
    edited March 2011
    If you have to question it, or you're confused, I wouldn't do it just yet. Go to the appointment & see what you think. If its your first one, which I'm guessing it is, they'll probably just do some paper work & blood work, and you'll get a pelvic exam. Nothing big. That's what mine was anyways. Maybe going will help you. If you go & just feel like this baby deserves a chance, then you can cancel the abortion. If you go, feel uncomfortable, don't feel its the right thing, you can go have it done. But YOU & only YOU live with your decision.
  • hoosierMamaOf4hoosierMamaOf4
    The decision is entirely up to you, not him, so don't let his opinion outweigh yours. I was 20 when I got prego with my 1st and the bd kicked me out and refused to talk to me. He felt like I ended his life and wanted me to have an abortion. I eventually sent an ultrasound pic to his mother and he ended up calling, wanting to talk. He said seeing his child in black and white made him feel differently about the situation....9 years later we are 2 weeks from welcoming #4.

    Not every story will end up like mine, but I really think you need more time to consider how you really feel and how you will feel knowing that you made a vow to yourself to never do this again and how are you going to feel after you do it. You don't have to keep this amazing gift, there are thousands of women out there who can't be mothers who would take this child in a heartbeat. Just take some time to yourself and do some soul searching before ending a beginning of something wonderful.
  • MommmyX3MommmyX3
    Have you considered adoption? And raising a child on your own isnt the worst thing. My dauggters father was never in her life so until I married my husband I was raising her alone. My husband has taken her in as his own and they have such a strong bond. So even if your bd doesnt stick around, you would be able to pull through for your baby. When you become a mother you get strength that you never knew you had. Maybe you should go to your appointment on Thursday and talk to your doctor about all of your options.
  • dobiemommadobiemomma
    If u are thinking u may want to keep the baby but worried about being alone, do u have a good family/friend support? With them u will never be alone. And there are "so many fish in the sea" u could find another guy who treats u like a princess
  • Laurenmarie729ILaurenmarie729I
    Only do what you want right now, dont do it or not do it because of what anyone else says. I believe whichever decision you make is the right one because fate had you make that decision. And either way you decide just no it will work out...it has to! Goodluck with your decision and stay strong to what YOU feel is right.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    This is your body, your baby, and your decision. If you're not sure about getting an abortion, you need more time to think about things and weigh out your options. Before you do anything, make sure that its what you want!
  • salsabiasalsabia
    I Never wanted children. Only knew this guy a month and got Preg. I thought about abortion for a split second but I knew it would F me up in the head if I did it. 23 weeks now and im glad I didn't do it. Im all alone but im about to buy a house near my mom and give it my best shot.
  • missthiggymissthiggy
    Let me start off by saying i was always prochoice.....until i had my son. I was 19, unmarried and terrified. I had just finished college and was excited to start my "real" life. The second i held my son i realized that HE was my real life. If u are having any doubts i beg u to talk to someone. It is of course ultimately ur body and ur decision. I can promise u that having this baby will be hard and will change everything. But i can also promise u will find a love in ur heart for this child u never imagined! I wish u all the best in whatever u decide. But please be certain in ur decision. U will never regret the children u have but may i always wonder about the ones u don't. Im sorry if this came off preachy. In no way meant for it to be. Good luck :)
  • SkyeBluSkyeBlu
    Its your decision but if ur confused or even in the slightest think its the wrong decision then i wouldnt do it. I had an abortion a couple of years back, i still regret it to this day. I ended up overdosing and in hospital. I had the abortion because my boyfriend at the time didnt want kids he convinced me that i wouldnt be able to do it and that i wasnt ready financialy and that we would try again in a few years. At the time i had that much trust in him and thought he was talking sense. He left me a month after the abortion.

    Iv told you this just so you know you shoulnt do it because you think it will keep your boyfriend.
    My sister had a baby boy in august and she just turned 17 she is still studing for tafe (college) and she in a single mum, our mother helps look after him to help her study.

    I think that if you put your heart to it you can do anything :-) there are options if you want to carry on with school. And if you boyfriend is the right guy he will stick by you no matter what.
    Try and think everything through befor you fully make a decision and make sure it is what you want not someone else. :-)
    good luck huni and stay strong.
  • kaylababy007kaylababy007
    I was 17 when I got pegnant. The father wasn't around & MT mother told me to have an abortion. She told me I wouldn't find a man that would love me with a child. Well while I was pregnant I worked and went to school. I graduated on time and found a man to love me and my son. 3 years later I have a perfect marriage & perfect children. If anything having a child motivated me more in life because everything I do I do for them. I would think twice about having an abortion. A child would nor set you back. I promise being a single mother isn't hard. I hope you think about thus decision & you weigh your options.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    Whatever choice you make remember these 2 very important things:
    1.) Its your choice, your body & will effect you the most
    2.) You are never alone, whatever you choose to do, you will always have the support from all of us here at Pregly every step of the way.

    Think everything completely thru before you do anything. If you decide to still go thru with the abortion, you can always reschedule. If you decide to keep it, make sure you see an OB to make sure everything goes as it should; you're okay, so is baby. If you choose adoption, do all your research. Just don't rush into a choice before you've weighed all your options, or you can end up regretting it in the end.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • ginaa412ginaa412
    I'm 12 weeks pregnant when I found out I was 3 weeks and 5 days I was so afraid that I couldn't do it that he wouldn't b here for me in the end. One night I stayed up and thought about how innocent this child is and it was given to me for a reason. I decided to just keep the baby and honestly I feel it was the best thing I could ever do I love this baby more than anything and hey if he walks away then its his loss ill find a way to make it work with out him. I'm really Happy I didn't go thru with it. Just think about what you really want don't make a decision until your certain cus my friend had one when she was 4.5 months and really regrets it she had it cus the father didn't want the baby.
  • sweetness06sweetness06
    Thanks everyone for the support...this has really helped me believe it r not..figure ill stay away frm him for the next couple of days so I can think on my own @missthiggy I couldn't of said it better myself cuz I still tinder about my unborn child after I had an abortion back in 2008...after that I made a promise to myself & God that I would NVR do it again...& here I am in the situation..about to make the same choice but this time I knw how horrible ill feel after...I jus dnt wanna do it again
  • AngelmonkeymelodyAngelmonkeymelody
    I think you should have the baby and put it up for adoption but it is up to u good luck
  • pooh22pooh22
    @sweetness06 the best I can tell u only do it if u n only u want it I was so confused also n didn't want to upset my parent but my first pregnacy I missed carried n had an abortion proceedure done n it hurt soo bad I couldn't cum to terms with myself to do it again expecally not for him so now we are keepin this child n couldn't b happier n like every other woman we all have our life planned out but the lord might have different plans for us u def have to make this decision on ur own but I also think @angelmonkeymelody is right do adoption or even if someone in ur own family jus might want to take the baby their are many choices
  • PebblesMommyPebblesMommy
    Most people really really regret their decision to abort a baby later on in life (as you already feel about your first one). I hope that if you decide to go that route that you are absolutely sure that's what you want to do. Also, I hope you will be more careful until you are ready for another one. I wish you all the best.
  • caroline8_pcaroline8_p
    You just answered what you yourself is questioning. You said you know how it feels, you don't want to do it again.. if HE wants it then he doesn't deserve you or that child. Good luck.
  • debsdebs
    I had abortion in 07 I felt horrible and always thought if that baby.08 I got pregnant and me and my bf didn't know what to do we thought about everything and when I got info on state ins and how we could afford thus baby I told him u didn't want abortion I really thought we could do it he agreed and also thought I had one abortion and we are lucky that god would let us have another baby she is the greatest thing to happen to us we are married and expecting our third. look and see what financial help you qualify for
  • ProudMommie627ProudMommie627
    Totally agree with @ta2edblondie i had an abortion at 18 n tho my bf agree it the rite thing to do, ultimately i decided it. N although u will feel a bit bad bcuz everyone does, i do not regret a thing. Having a baby is not for everyone n i had things i wanted to do in my life as well n it was not gna b possible with a child hanging on my arm n i do not regret anything. Good luck to u n my advice is to take ur own advice n not the advice of some people who dnt really kno u. Bcuz even tho everyone is trying to help, its ur life n bo one will live it but u. Good luck
  • futuremrstfuturemrst
    My birth mother had me when she was 15 and gave me up for adoption. I am now 27 and have met her. Before I met her though I already knew how much respect I had for her making the decision she did to give me a better life than she could provide. Consider adoption because it can be a wonderful thing for a child. My mother who raised me could not have kids so she was blessed by my birth mother as well. I think about the choice my birth mother made and can honestly say she is my hero. Just consider all of your options and if u choose to not keep the baby think of how happy the child will make someone. If u have questions about adoption let me know. Good luck.
  • steph_s90steph_s90
    Just think hard before you make such an important decision and make sure your 100% sure. A lot of women can't have babies after having a previous abortion bc of the scar tissue it leaves. Make the rift decision for you hun good luck, everything happens for a reason!
  • ProudMommie627ProudMommie627
    I kno plenty of women who are able to get pregnant after an abortion. In fact they've gotten pregnant many times after an abortion. Im one of em. Good luck
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