men...ugh

sehra4177sehra4177
edited March 2012 in Relationships
I come home after work and picking up the kids. My fiance only has our son Wed during the day, one day a week. He drops him off at my moms then goes to work. Other days all he has to do is take our daughter to school, then he comes home and sleeps til work at 3pm.
So I get home and the house is a disaster. Sink full of dishes with food caked on, a diaper torn up all over the living room, the gel stuff from inside all over the floor. Bread smoshed on the couch. My son is getting into everything...I have to make dinner and also put wash in bc he was gonna do wash but our downstairs neighbors had some in so of course I'm left with wash. Plus he took some of my clean clothes bc he thought they were dirty and put them in the hamper so now I have to wash tgej bc they stink, mind you I only have 4 pairs of maternity pants so I usually have to wash twice a week. So anyway my son getting into things and house a mess I start crying bc I'm starving and there is so much to do...oh I forgot I still had to bathe my son bc he got a pen at my moms and started to draw on himself..ugh!
So mr wonderful calls on his break and asks how's it going? I'm quiet bc I know if I say what's wrong he will act like I'm being a bitch. So I'm quiet he keeps prying...I break down start crying again...and tell him. He gets mad and says well if its gonna be a bitch fest I'll let you go...bc he says he didn't have time to clean up. Ok, ?! I don't get it.really?! He works 3 to 11...home by 1130. Stays up til 230am...doing who knows what. Comes to bed gets up at 8 takes my daughter to school (only day he has our son is Wed in the morning then drops him off and my son naps for 2 hours during that time). Gets up at 130 goes to work. We have a room that needs to be finished in the next 15 days bc baby is coming and its not even close to being done. Also, not sure how you don't have time to clean up a bit before you leave...for work. Ugh, just needed to vent bc I'm so frustrated.
I can do ten times what he does Plus manage the kids and being 37 weeks pregnant...wtf!!!

Comments

  • Mimii36Mimii36
    That's my hubbies schedule. But he stays up til like 5 am and then sleeps until right before time for him to go in to work. Doesn't do shut around the house. The only thing I really bug him to do is take out the trash. I've given up on asking him to help doing anything else. Anyway...trash will just pile up in the kitchen. Even when it starts to stink he will comment on how it stink and he will "take it out tomorrow". I just had 4 trash bags sitting in my kitchen for over a week. His excuse EVERDAY when I asked him...."oh I didn't have time". Are you fucking serious...you are home ALL day until 2! If you woke up before 1:45 you would have time! Then when I finally say baby you need to take the trash out or I say ill just do it...his mood changes like he has an attitude! Sorry so long...just wanted you to know that you are definitely not alone!
  • sehra4177sehra4177
    @Mimii36 thx that helps...not that you have to go thru it but just that you can relate. I'm so fed up. Sometimes I wonder if lesbians have the right idea, lol. Bc I'll tell you men just can't handle much. You're right too, I only really have him do trash and he attempted to do wash while I am pregnant bc I have fallen down the basement steps before they are really narrow...but that lasted all of maybe 6 loads of wash. Now I come home and there is an excuse why it wasn't done. I had to laugh the other day...he uses towels and then leaves them in our room in clumps so I don't pick anything off the floor if its not in the hamper it doesn't get washed...he goes to take a shower, uhh oh no towels! I have towels that are mine and I always use them and the kids have the special towels so he had nothing, lol...I secretly laughed. All his clothes are everywhere in our room, I refuse to pick them up. I'm so tired of it.
    He is a good dad but sometimes I just want a little help, my 8 year daughter cleans more than he does if it wasn't for her tonight I prob would've really lost it. She said mom I'll do the dishes she cleaned up the toys and helped me get dinner started:):)
  • Mimii36Mimii36
    Yea same with mine. He will leave his dirty clothes everywhere...even right beside the hamper! It's soo lazy! He's also a great dad..does whatever I ask him to do with her. But anything else is like pulling teeth! Then he wonders why I'm ill sometimes. Men just don't realize how much stuff we do. I want to put him in my shoes for 1 week. He'd never last.
  • Janet_2011Janet_2011
    OMG he is such an asshole.. you are pregnant and working.. plus being a mom and doing everything in the house? Really?? You might as well and do it alone since it seems that way.. you should have a long and serious talk with him.. it shouldnt be that way.. ugh I'm sorry.. I have said it like twice but I will say it again.. you seriously never get a break:(
  • sehra4177sehra4177
    @Mimii36 I agree he needs a day in my shoes. I don't know I know sometimes I do overdo it, bc growing up my mom never worked and was old school cleaned, cooked and took care of us and waited on my dad. So sometimes I feel like I need to do that too take care of my man, but also my mom never worked. She had time to do all that stuff...I think I try to do too much. Its an OCD thing.
    @Janet_2011 as always I agree, when I do try to talk to him he gets all defensive. I told him on the phone again and then that's when he said it was a bitch fest. Normally he calls me on second break and of course no call...he runs from any conversation I try to have about things like this. Or it turns into me being the problem not him, then I get all like well maybe it is my fault etc. I have thought about I am technically doing it on my own and actually doing it but in the past I've asked him to leave but he refuses. Tells me if we break up I'm the one who has to leave. Things got better for awhile and lately its been too stressful.
  • Janet_2011Janet_2011
    OMFG right now i feel like throat punching him .. wtf ? you would have to leave? really? does he cares at least for his kids? he has to consider that if you leave.. you would have to take the kids and that is easier if he is the only one leaving .. omg im sorry to say but you are have an asshole for man .. who the hell does or says does that type of things? no women should be going through the problems and shit that you go through .. ugh i honestly cant belive that there are men out there that are that ignorant :( :( :(
  • Mimii36Mimii36
    He does seem to be very disrespectful. My hubby is lazy but not rude about it. I know he hates when I fuss at him for not doing things but he would never use the word bitch in any sentence referring to me. That's unacceptable to me.
  • sehra4177sehra4177
    I just don't know what to do i do love him but sometimes I can't deal with it. I was great for a long time and it just really started recently, I do know he is stressed bc of work and the baby coming. I know I am too bc being pregnant and having two other kids plus work and everything else. He also doesn't have any family at all to rely on and has been on his own for a long time since 15 yrs old. He is and always has been on the tough side...like not much emotion etc.
    The whole bitch referral was him saying if the call we were having was gonna be a bitch fest then he was gonna let me go bc being at work he didn't want to get into it. Bc I know there are other people around. I did notice it getting worse as the baby due date comes closer...I am not trying to excuse the way he acts but do also know I am stressed and find myself really anxious lately bc I'm so scared I'm gonna have three kids and I'm really wondering if I can handle it. We were doing great prior to this pregnancy and he was still a man and lazy but his demeanor was different. He says he is happy about the baby but maybe has the same thoughts as me...I'm happy but soo scared:(
  • Janet_2011Janet_2011
    Maybe he is frustrated and scared.. and doesn't know how to control his emotions. My husband goes bitch mode if he is frustrated or scared.. also when he is nervous or overwhelmed
  • ceegsmommy75ceegsmommy75
    @Janet_2011 LOL your husband sounds like my 3 year old :) I don't know HOW I would handle the situation without someone getting knocked OUT!!!! I know how I felt at 37 weeks preggo and Nathan knew not to cross me. I wish men could feel EXACTLY how we do when we are pregnant.........
  • sehra4177sehra4177
    @Janet_2011 i think he may be. After our son was born he called me like two days after he was on his way home from work and had to pull over.. he had an anxiety attack. I had no way to get to him bc my bro was using our other card.. I had to call 911 and they took him to the hospital and he had a panic attack pretty bad. They gave him zanex (sp?) and he took off a few days. As I get closer i find myself getting so uptight and stressed too now.. my daughter was so easy and my 2 yr old a handful.. so I guess i am afraid I won't be able to handle all this plus working and all the other stuff. Its just soo much to deal with and very overwhelming!
  • Janet_2011Janet_2011
    edited March 2012
    @ceegsmommy75 oh he knows me well by now.. he goes bitch mode.. quietly. Lol
    but he helps around the house and with the kids regardless if he works or not.. regardless if he is on his man period or not. :)
    @sehra4177 oh wow , you must be so scared with all the stuff going on... And if he got a panic attack with two kids..I wonder how is going to be with 3. Girl we are made for this. You will do perfect:)
  • ceegsmommy75ceegsmommy75
    man Period ILMAO @Janet_2011 :)
  • Janet_2011Janet_2011
    @ceegsmommy75 lol I didn't know what else to call it.
  • sehra4177sehra4177
    @Janet_2011 @ceegsmommy75 @Mimii36 way to add stress my job just announced they are closing our call center...so as of Jun 23rd I no longer have a job and health insurance...luckily the baby will be here before that. Its just one thing after another:(
  • Mimii36Mimii36
    Omg..that is terrible. I'm sorry hunnie.
  • sehra4177sehra4177
    @Mimii36 thx, luckily we get severance and can collect
  • Mimii36Mimii36
    Oh well that's great! That does make it a little better. Have you told your hubby yet?
  • sehra4177sehra4177
    @Mimii36 yes, its all over our local news etc. I called him to let him know. One of the guys he works with, his wife works with me so this guy found out at the same time. He was really good about it and was able to calm me down...I thought this baby was gonna pop out at work when they announced it!
  • sehra4177sehra4177
    I've been there 8 years, its just shocking
  • ceegsmommy75ceegsmommy75
    @sehra4177 I'm sorry you are going through this, you seem very strong and hard working. Your man sounds like a whiny girl! Tell him to suck it up and clean up that house :/ What is with these men these days acting like 16 year old girls on their first period anyway? "Whaaa whaa I'm stressed I'm anxious" How does he think YOU feel? Having a new baby is stressful, but he signed up for it, so he needs to step up and rub your feet for 3 hours :)
  • Mimii36Mimii36
    Well that's great. Maybe with the stress of this happening he will help you out a little.
  • sehra4177sehra4177
    @ceegsmommy75 lol, yeh they do whine alot...its not just him my ex was similar. My mom said my dad acts the same and he is 65...lol.
Sign In or Register to comment.

© Vanilla Keystone Theme 2024