@Ashley_smashley it just seems like common sense to me! There should be no double standard. It's like "do as I say not as I do." In reality the best way to get your child to behave a certain way is to lead by example. Children always want to be like mommy and daddy.
@mom2ing, I completely agree with you! I have never spanked my daughter for hitting someone. She has never hit anyone except my son when he was a couple weeks old and she was in a fit of jealousy. I did not spank her then, but reprimanded her and took her favorite toys away.
The times that I have spanked her were during serious circumstances when I felt her safety was at risk and she did not listen the first or second time. Such as trying to touch the stove and putting things in light sockets. I never spanked her out of anger either, which I feel is very wrong. It got the message across, and we've never had that issue since.
I think spanking becomes detrimental when parents use it as their sole form of discipline. It should be reserved for serious cases when no other form of discipline has gotten through to them. I was spanked when I was little and I thank my father for it to this day
That's your opinion and others may agree.... I was simply agreeing to someone who also spanks snacks hits whatever you want to call it. I to can give examples of spanking working beautifully with my 3 older children and examples of their excellent behavior . But in the end of the day it doesn't matter ....... I don't believe any one way of parenting works better then the other way. As long as we love our children nurture and teach them and they are not abused then no matter the way you discipline we are all doing our best in raising our children to be awesome little people .... :-)
I have had this conversation numerous times with my Granny ... @summergirl22 but alas this is one of those topics that people are on either side of (like the vaccine debate) and there is no swaying them...so I dont even bother. They believe what they want, and I believe what I want....I just remind myself that we are all trying to do whats best for our little ones!
@captivated you seem to use spanking the way it should be used. But the sad reality is many parents do not! There's way to many who hit out of anger and if you knew of the person who I was referring to, you would be shocked!
@Ashley_smashley yes I agree, that's why I don't say anything to people who discipline in that way. There's nothing I can do or say to get them to view it differently. I just have my own views on it, and I would never allow my hubby to discipline that way either.
And spanking appropriately is fine. I just think so many people get carried away and I don't think it's right. If your child fears you, I don't think that's right...just my $.02
@captivated it's great you use it as a last resort as well, because when you can accomplish the same goal without spanking or hitting, why wouldn't you?
The Only thing I can agree to is that some people take it way too far ...... Again I was speaking of using spanking in certian circumstances and effectively not abusing and bruising children......
I was never spanked and my mother never had to tell me no more than once. I was never wild or out of control. So not all kids who aren't spanked end up spoiled and bratty.
@2ndbutfirst "I'm sorry but the he'll hit because I hit him is nonsense. You smoke, you drink, you drive, you say cuss words, but you teach your children not too...and they don't. Leading by example is great but it doesn't work with everything."
@mom2ing I never was speaking about you! So I don't know why you're getting so defensive. I didn't agree (meaning I still think there's other ways to discipline) with @captivated but I understand where she is coming from. She was also the first to state that she never has or ever will do it out of anger. Also it seems she uses it only as a last resort when her child is doing something dangerous. And again I'm not saying you don't do it this way either, I don't know you so I'm nobody to judge you, and I am not judging you at all. However, the people I was referring to I know personally. Your children don't hit, but some children who are hit (and when i say hit, I'm not referring to a spank) do.
Never did I say all children who are hit will hit themselves! Talk about blowing things out of proportion!
Oh and please tell me what you have to say about parents who discipline without hitting...I wanna hear this!
@mom2ing my nephew also who has NEVER been spanked is always hurting my kids hitting them pushing them and throwing things at them! Hurting them.... While my children don't lay a finger on them. Go figure my kids who do get spanked don't hit back yet my nephew who doesn't get spanked is always besting up every kid that walks in the house.... Hmmmmm....
Agreed @mom2ing I believe I said that earlier in a different way..... I don't believe one way of discliplining is better then the other and no one should judge either side..... We are all raising our little ones to be wonderful people no matter the technique ....
@Mom2ING I can see that, but I just don't understand how some kids need to learn through their mistakes through negativity, but other kids have an easy time learning through constructive wording on the parents' part. We all want well behaved children, but what is the deciding factor on choosing to hit? Did other things not work before hand? Or is it like "I learned to obey my parents when they hit me, so this will work for my kids"? That's what I'm trying to ask, I suppose. What led to the hitting? Not easy with words today, I guess.
I don't feel like reading back up, I can't remember who said it, but I just wanted to mention that those kids with behavioral issues who weren't spanked and are spoiled, that's because there wasn't any discipline (timeouts, restrictions, etc). My kids aren't spoiled, and they aren't hit. They have schedules that must be kept, they have consistency. They have set boundaries that I hold to them. And for those that say they were spanked and turned out ok, what's ok to you? Because, without mentioning names, you've shown to have behavioral issues in this app alone. Not saying I don't have behavioral issues, but I see others lash out constantly and make it an ugly mission to argue with everyone.
My father spanked me and I have turned out to be a very intelligent, independent and well put together woman. The other ladies that mentioned that they were spanked seem to be pretty great ladies themselves. Whatever floats your boats. I think spanking is the least of our worries for our children nowadays.
@captivated So, without the hitting, you don't think you'd be an intelligent, independent, well-put together woman? I'm asking what the deciding factor is to hit?
@Mom2ING Lashing out...as a child could also be caused by many things. School work, bullies, lack of sleep, craving attention. Children are just little people. They have many stresses as well.
@mom2ing there you go putting words on my mouth again...of course any child could hit. Hitting/spanking aside, I believe if a young child acts up its a direct result of failed/lack of parenting. I'm still waiting for what you think about parents who don't spank??
Comments
The times that I have spanked her were during serious circumstances when I felt her safety was at risk and she did not listen the first or second time. Such as trying to touch the stove and putting things in light sockets. I never spanked her out of anger either, which I feel is very wrong. It got the message across, and we've never had that issue since.
I think spanking becomes detrimental when parents use it as their sole form of discipline. It should be reserved for serious cases when no other form of discipline has gotten through to them. I was spanked when I was little and I thank my father for it to this day
@Ashley_smashley yes I agree, that's why I don't say anything to people who discipline in that way. There's nothing I can do or say to get them to view it differently. I just have my own views on it, and I would never allow my hubby to discipline that way either.
I like the way you put that!
Never did I say all children who are hit will hit themselves! Talk about blowing things out of proportion!
Oh and please tell me what you have to say about parents who discipline without hitting...I wanna hear this!
Here's an article @naliibby2
This article is about both sides to anyone who wants to read it
Also, someone said that they can understand "no" at 11 months. That's not saying to hit at 11 months.
General question for anyone to answer: Why do you think my kids are good (not being hit), and your kids are good (disciplinary hits)?
I don't feel like reading back up, I can't remember who said it, but I just wanted to mention that those kids with behavioral issues who weren't spanked and are spoiled, that's because there wasn't any discipline (timeouts, restrictions, etc). My kids aren't spoiled, and they aren't hit. They have schedules that must be kept, they have consistency. They have set boundaries that I hold to them. And for those that say they were spanked and turned out ok, what's ok to you? Because, without mentioning names, you've shown to have behavioral issues in this app alone. Not saying I don't have behavioral issues, but I see others lash out constantly and make it an ugly mission to argue with everyone.
@Mom2ING Lashing out...as a child could also be caused by many things. School work, bullies, lack of sleep, craving attention. Children are just little people. They have many stresses as well.
I'm still waiting for what you think about parents who don't spank??