Depressed...

RedShadoe0RedShadoe0
edited May 2012 in VENT (keep it peaceful!)
As most of you know, we took a break this month from actively trying to get preggo... meaning no meds, no OPKs, nada. I'm guessing I'm somewhere between 6dpo and 11dpo today (that is, *IF* I ovulated)... knowing my cycles without meds it could very easily be another 3 months before I get a period because of the PCOS. I'm fairly sure I did ovulate though because of CM. Also fairly certain my progesterone is elevated slightly because I'm feeling the mild effects from it... the sore full boobs and super tired. I'm also having these little mini cramps down real low. This is all normal for after ovulation for me so in no way would I think I'm preggo from that. But a few things different this month... yeah my boobs are kinda sore and full... but there's also this random SHOOTING pain I get sometimes that I can't explain. And of course, the spotting around 3 or 7dpo (which I'm wondering if it was implanation) I've never spotted mid cycle before. BUT that coulda been just an irritated cervix. I'm trying so hard not to symptom spot and just RELAX for a month... but apparently this is impossible for me. And today I'm so dead to the world I can barely put a correct sentence together (which is embarrasing seeing as how my job is TEACHING). I don't know if I'm just having a bad day and in the dumps or if it's a friggin symptom that I'm TRYING not to spot. lol. It just kills me that I can't seem to do my job as a woman and bear children. (yeah now I'm officially rambling) Just a vent ladies, sorry it's so long.

Comments

  • RedShadoe0RedShadoe0
    I hate bad days. I just wanna be normal and happy again lol. Maybe we should totally forget about having children. Maybe we can adopt. :-<
  • Mimii36Mimii36
    Don't be so down. Hakuna Matada(sp)!
    It means so worries :p
  • RedShadoe0RedShadoe0
    @mimii36 maybe I need to go watch Lion King and cheer myself up :)
  • skysmaskysma
    Awh lovie everyting will work
  • SalasMommySalasMommy
    I know that you are getting frustrated and its ok to feel that way. I hope you get your bfp soon. Everything at its time baby dust to you love <3 *********
  • pregoagainYAYpregoagainYAY
    Everything will happen when its supposed to in the meantine I am sending you loads of baby dust mama <3
  • RedShadoe0RedShadoe0
    @salasmommy @skysma @pregoagainyay Thank you ladies. I'd prolly go crazy if I couldn't vent on here. :)
  • pregoagainYAYpregoagainYAY
    Thats what were here for mama <3 vent away :)
  • EeyoreEeyore
    @redshadoeo have they ever put you on metformin for the pcos?
  • RTMommyRTMommy
    Don't get down, love. I felt like a failure after I had Logan. I felt like my body was made to bear children and I couldn't even do that right since he was early. I blamed every delay in his development on myself for that reason. Now I struggle with reproduction again, not even allowing myself to think about having another preemie just yet. I guess my point is that you're not alone. You'll be a mommy some day, hopefully soon, you'll see. A coworker of mine actually struggled to have a baby for 8 years. She just couldn't conceive. Finally her and hubby decided to adopt, and when they got their son, she found out about 5 months later that she was pg. Crazy miracles happen. End happy rant. :)
  • ValVal
    were all here for you @redshadoe0 i was falling out of hope also but one of my good friends sister founf out shes pg after 13 yrs of trying...i know that dont help much with yrs BUT... like everyone says you'll be blessed =) >:D<
  • RedShadoe0RedShadoe0
    @eeyore I've been fighting with them to let me TRY metformin at least. But they say bc I'm "not insulin resistant" (which is super hard to diagnose I've read, and I'm not diabetic, they can't authorize it since it's a diabetic drug that HAPPENS to help PCOS (my doctors are worthless.... thank you military).
    @rtmommy @val I try really hard to keep my chin up... but next year when I hit 28 if I don't have a kid by then, I think we're gonna try to consider other options. I know technically 28 is still plenty young enough but damn.... still trying for that first kid. I'm gonna be a grandma before it happens! (feels like sometimes) But anyway, I feel better after a good long nap today so I guess I was just overly tired. *sigh* I NEED TO RELAX! lol
  • tinka1326tinka1326
    I know it's hard but try to stop being so hard on yourself. Your not failing, your body is just waiting till the perfect egg and sperm meet so you can have a perfect baby. Relax take a break and go back to having fun with your man in the bedroom not worrying so much about if this will be your month... The stress your putting on yourself may have alot to do with why your not getting pregnant.
  • RedShadoe0RedShadoe0
    edited May 2012
    @tinkA1326 mid break now for that reason actually. Tryin. :)
  • tinka1326tinka1326
    I have a good feeling about you hun. I really feel a baby is in your future xox
  • EeyoreEeyore
    edited May 2012
    I would call around and find a dr. Outside the military that deals with pcos, they would probbably put you on it. Where do you live. There is also an all natural alternative to metformin that you might try I forgot the name of it though @redshadoeo
  • luvmy5luvmy5
    I got pregnang after drinking with nearly all of mine, so perhaps relax, have fun, have a few to let loose? Have you tried Mucinex? Preseed? Someone in a TTC attempt used Soft Cups (much like a Diva Cup or Instead) for periods to help 'hold in the sperm'.
  • RedShadoe0RedShadoe0
    I've got an appointment with an infertility specialist Thursday... I had to wait over a month to get the appt tho. And i don't know if tricare Will approve the Metformin or not... We shall see ladies. And i wanna try that cup thing next month. And I'm taking a mini vacation to pensacola Florida so beer and beach is in my near future... Gonna relax.
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