May Possibly end up a single mother. (this is a long one)
ladies I apologize for the length of this I just needed to get it out.
Ok, Now you ladies who know my story know that my bf and I fight alot. I've complained about him numerous times. This time though ladies I'm thinking this might actually happen. Ok, so here is what happened. We went to sears so I could purchase my sons bed yesterday. After we purchased the bed he basically demanded that I come and stay with him and his family after the birth of our son (if you are slightly confused on the situation we don't live together) . He's been demanding this for months, I never really said anything for fear of a fight, I absolutely hate fighting & a couple of our arguments have put me in the emergency room w/ complications. I finally bucked up enough last night and told him no. When the baby is born I will take him home to my house. I told him that the baby needs to be in a sterile environment, & since the baby will be little I can't drag him out on the bus whenever he wants to see him. I don't have a car. You are probably wandering why I don't want to stay at his house w/ his family. Well, 1st off. . . It isn't my home. His house lacks the amenities that mine has. Like gas for example. How am I supposed to sterilize my son's bottles? Stick them in the microwave?! There is no heat. My son will be born in November. Space heaters are dangerous and the have like 5000 of those things running. No just no. 2nd. . . There are alot of people who come in and out of their home. There are 5 people who stay there 100% of the time, then he has a brother who comes in and out. A cousin who doesn't know where the hell his house is, and half of them smoke. No offense to the smokers on here. I cant do it. A little newborn baby cant be around that. Hell I cant even be around that. I just want to go home, I want to be comfortable after delivery, I want to be around everything that I need for this baby. I want my mom's help & guidance. Plus I want her to be around the baby. . Its her very first grandson. The other grandma this will be her fifth. . . My momma is excited about her little "Man Man" They always exclude my mother out and forget that she's a big part of my life.
Now to where the fight turned into unneeded drama.
He told his mother that I thought that her house was unstable, and unclean. basically flip flopped and reversed the whole Sterile conversation that we had previously that day.
She Facebooked me (since apparently I am unworthy of a phone call) Talking shit, saying how she wasted her time and money on the baby shower that she is throwing for me, and basically telling me to go to hell. Insulted my mom in that message and my mom hasn't spoken to that woman since I graduated highschool. . TWO YEARS AGO!
I never said the woman was unclean. Her house is spotless. Cluttered a little yes, but spotless. Unstable, well I never said that it was though. . it might be. Idk,, hell i do NOT live there.
They (her and her son) are holding this shower over my head basically. First they said they cancelled it. Which did kinda hurt especially after i finally started to get excited, and when I started to finally enjoy my pregnancy. Then they said that they were having it and didn't give a damn if I was there or not. Like its childish. My mom said if they want to be that way then thats ok, She told me to hold my head up, and that if I really wanted a shower she would put one together for me. (she's pretty awesome). . But, I mean whats the point of that really?
Now how is this going to make me being a single mom is your question now. . . Right?
He's pissed off about me wanting to take the baby home, and insists that I am trying to do everything by myself and I am trying to take the baby away from him.
He constantly is demanding that I do things "his way" I have absolutely no say in what goes on in my life & in my son's life.
He told me that i was not allowed to go on bc after this child is born. & he refuses to wear protection. I have dreams & goals. I want to finish school, and actually make something of myself and not have to depend on a man who has no respect for me, and I'm only 20 I don't want anymore children for a long while. HIs reason behind the no b/c. . I'm not sure, his reason behind the no condom thing. He hates them.
He demanded that I name the baby after him, and said if I didn't that we were going to have "problems". . . He never asked me for my opinion.
I always get accused of cheating. All I do is go to work, and come home besides i'm almost 8 months pregnant. . . Sex with other people is the farthest thing on my mind. Hell sex with him is pretty non exsistant Too tired for it, and I seriously do NOT want it.
Basically I don't have a voice at all in this relationship, and when I get the courage to actually tell him these things I am a "dumbass" or I sound stupid, or apparently i am making an ass of myself. . . No voice. Basically I just have to sit and take it, and I'm not doing it anymore. I have a voice. i'm not stupid or a dumbass. i've lost all my friends because of this guy. . .i have no one to turn to.
If you lasted through out this whole entire Vent tell me. .
Am I wrong in any of this preglies? . . Am I wrong for wanting to bring my son home. . . Am I wrong for just wanting whats best for the both of us? Staying down there isn't whats best, its just what bd wants. "/ Should I just walk away? Idk, I'm just so upset.
Ok, Now you ladies who know my story know that my bf and I fight alot. I've complained about him numerous times. This time though ladies I'm thinking this might actually happen. Ok, so here is what happened. We went to sears so I could purchase my sons bed yesterday. After we purchased the bed he basically demanded that I come and stay with him and his family after the birth of our son (if you are slightly confused on the situation we don't live together) . He's been demanding this for months, I never really said anything for fear of a fight, I absolutely hate fighting & a couple of our arguments have put me in the emergency room w/ complications. I finally bucked up enough last night and told him no. When the baby is born I will take him home to my house. I told him that the baby needs to be in a sterile environment, & since the baby will be little I can't drag him out on the bus whenever he wants to see him. I don't have a car. You are probably wandering why I don't want to stay at his house w/ his family. Well, 1st off. . . It isn't my home. His house lacks the amenities that mine has. Like gas for example. How am I supposed to sterilize my son's bottles? Stick them in the microwave?! There is no heat. My son will be born in November. Space heaters are dangerous and the have like 5000 of those things running. No just no. 2nd. . . There are alot of people who come in and out of their home. There are 5 people who stay there 100% of the time, then he has a brother who comes in and out. A cousin who doesn't know where the hell his house is, and half of them smoke. No offense to the smokers on here. I cant do it. A little newborn baby cant be around that. Hell I cant even be around that. I just want to go home, I want to be comfortable after delivery, I want to be around everything that I need for this baby. I want my mom's help & guidance. Plus I want her to be around the baby. . Its her very first grandson. The other grandma this will be her fifth. . . My momma is excited about her little "Man Man" They always exclude my mother out and forget that she's a big part of my life.
Now to where the fight turned into unneeded drama.
He told his mother that I thought that her house was unstable, and unclean. basically flip flopped and reversed the whole Sterile conversation that we had previously that day.
She Facebooked me (since apparently I am unworthy of a phone call) Talking shit, saying how she wasted her time and money on the baby shower that she is throwing for me, and basically telling me to go to hell. Insulted my mom in that message and my mom hasn't spoken to that woman since I graduated highschool. . TWO YEARS AGO!
I never said the woman was unclean. Her house is spotless. Cluttered a little yes, but spotless. Unstable, well I never said that it was though. . it might be. Idk,, hell i do NOT live there.
They (her and her son) are holding this shower over my head basically. First they said they cancelled it. Which did kinda hurt especially after i finally started to get excited, and when I started to finally enjoy my pregnancy. Then they said that they were having it and didn't give a damn if I was there or not. Like its childish. My mom said if they want to be that way then thats ok, She told me to hold my head up, and that if I really wanted a shower she would put one together for me. (she's pretty awesome). . But, I mean whats the point of that really?
Now how is this going to make me being a single mom is your question now. . . Right?
He's pissed off about me wanting to take the baby home, and insists that I am trying to do everything by myself and I am trying to take the baby away from him.
He constantly is demanding that I do things "his way" I have absolutely no say in what goes on in my life & in my son's life.
He told me that i was not allowed to go on bc after this child is born. & he refuses to wear protection. I have dreams & goals. I want to finish school, and actually make something of myself and not have to depend on a man who has no respect for me, and I'm only 20 I don't want anymore children for a long while. HIs reason behind the no b/c. . I'm not sure, his reason behind the no condom thing. He hates them.
He demanded that I name the baby after him, and said if I didn't that we were going to have "problems". . . He never asked me for my opinion.
I always get accused of cheating. All I do is go to work, and come home besides i'm almost 8 months pregnant. . . Sex with other people is the farthest thing on my mind. Hell sex with him is pretty non exsistant Too tired for it, and I seriously do NOT want it.
Basically I don't have a voice at all in this relationship, and when I get the courage to actually tell him these things I am a "dumbass" or I sound stupid, or apparently i am making an ass of myself. . . No voice. Basically I just have to sit and take it, and I'm not doing it anymore. I have a voice. i'm not stupid or a dumbass. i've lost all my friends because of this guy. . .i have no one to turn to.
If you lasted through out this whole entire Vent tell me. .
Am I wrong in any of this preglies? . . Am I wrong for wanting to bring my son home. . . Am I wrong for just wanting whats best for the both of us? Staying down there isn't whats best, its just what bd wants. "/ Should I just walk away? Idk, I'm just so upset.
Comments
He tried to make me feel like I was wrong for wanting to bring my baby home. His house is not home. The baby needs heat. . How am I supposed to keep his things sterile if they dont have gas "/ He's being unreasonable, and my mom is pretty awesome.
@Mrz_Jackson He doesn't. Its like TreDan's way is the only way. Gabby has no voice!
@0utlaw_Sphinx I will def. be contacting you.
@Fate Thank you.
Why is his mother getting involved and retaliating the way she did. She needs to mind her own business and not use a baby shower as a vise.
You need to Stay in an environment where your wants and wishes can be met. Don't let him pressure you into a situation that may eventually be hard to get out of.
He has no say in how you take care of your body. Get on BC if that is your desire. I suspect he's a cheater and sees you as one. Don't let him turn this around on you. He definitely sounds very controlling and abusive. I think you've seen his abusive side and are hoping it was a one-time incident. Listen to your instinct!
Why doesn't he want to stay with you? I think it's because he knows he has to be on his best behavior.
I know it's easier says than done, but you asked, I think you need to get out while you can. I may be reading into it, but I suspect you continue with him to pacify him. If this is true then that should be reason enough to move forward without him.
What do you mean you end up in the emergency room after an argument?! This man is down right abusive...mentally, emotionally, verbally & it sounds like physically. I hope you got away from him & you & your baby are ok.