Marriage, some people don't care if they are a parent. Plus marriage takes a lot of work, not saying that parenting doesn't but some parents just up and leave there kids. Marriage does not usually happen on accident but many babys do esp when the two people aren't married. Plus if a girl gets pregnant and the guy wont commit to marriage and says that he is committed because he gave you a baby, I would ask if he got you pregnant on purpose. There is a huge difference between asking someone to spend the rest of there life with you and getting someone pregnant and staying around bc of a baby.
Having a baby! You can choose divorce, but once you commit to parenting, there's no way to undo that (not that I'd EVER want to!) Plus, you can say goodbye to a former spouse after a week or a month and never speak to them again. Once you make a baby together, you're bound together for life whether you want it or not. ;-)
@taytay I agree with baby! I thought I was the only one too..thats why im just now posting. Lol. And for the people saying what about the parents who just walk away...its the same with marriage. You could always just walk away from that too. You might cant just get a divorce that easy but you can still walk away from your marriage.
I was waiting for that rebuttal @mom2ing and I agree, but the same argument can be used in marriage - spousal abandonment. Even though lots of people give up parenting, I think it's much harder to leave an innocent child who needs you than a difficult marriage with a partner who can take care of themselves and may share your desire to separate. :-)
For the record, I want to divorce my husband at least once a week and will probably want to give my kids up for adoption when they're surly teenagers, but I'd never really leave any of them because I love the lot of them - for better or worse! Now my mother on the other hand... ;-)
This is such a loaded question because it can go so many ways and doesn't take into account many personal factors, nor personality traits. You have individuals that find motherhood very naturally, while others fight against this instinct. Then you have those that will throw themselves completely into a relationship, while others remain reserved and at arms length. I really don't think there is a right or wrong answer.
At this moment in time I would lean towards a baby because I am personally striving to provide the best for her. I make self sacrifices, as does my husband; however, the caveat is that a healthy relationship is as much a contributing factor on your level of commitment. They play off each other and will not work if you isolate them individually.
Huh. Crazy. Learn something new every day! Unfortunately, its a sad something new. Regardless, I still feel a baby is a bigger commitment with being able to be common law married within six months, marriage is something that I don't find to be (I'm probably gonna get freaked on for this) a big deal. Bringing life into the world, big big deal.
Lots of bad husbands and wives, too! @blessedtxmom ;-) LOL I love how all arguments could apply to both sides. @tinka1326 I also agree that marriage is an intentional commitment, but even with accidental pregnancy the decision to birth and raise the child is usually intentional. Love @mom2ing 's point that the marriage often envelopes the parenting too! It definitely does for me. Fun question to debate, taytay!
I say baby. Because your world turns upside down for that child, wither you keep him/her or not. No matter what being pregnant makes you grow up and mature and think of someone else other than yourself. Even if you are the dad, you still have to commit to being there for them or not. Marriage to me isn't all that big of a deal, when I think of my relationship and how it'll be after we get married, nothing changes but my last name, yes we will have to work at it, but I think having to raise a child or making the decision for putting them up for adoption is a heck of a lot of a bigger commitment.
If the question is commitment, you talking committing to another person/bf/gf right???? Obviously having a child is committing to that child, it does not mean you are committing to the other parent. I am looking at the question for example a guy having a child with the girl but not marrying her. In that sense no, him having a child with her means absolutely no commitment at all to the mother.
If your talking is being a spouse is more of a commitment to your spouse then being a parent and committing to your child? Then I would think committing to your child is a bigger commitment because you are all they have and you are to provide for them and teach them. If you have to do those things for your spouse you have a problem.
IMO: a baby. That is if they agree to have a baby, not just end up pregnant. You're agreeing that it's ok to raise a child together whether as a couple or separated. Marriage is easily ended by divorce.
@everyone I asked this question bc I know someone who is having a baby n living with their bd but doesn't want to get married n my question to her was "y is he ok to live with n to have a baby with but not to get married? Imo having a child is more of a commitment bc u have to deal with this person for the rest of ur life vs getting married u can always leave." So, I decided to see what my pregly family thought about it.
@mom2ing I'm in Canada, but yes six months living together, bam. Married. Loli thought it seemed loopy, until I found out our neighbouring province is only four months!!
I think marriage is. If you can easily walk out of a marriage then you weren't committed.. Being married takes a lot of work, it's not easy.. Having a baby you love that baby naturally you care naturally.. married couples fall out of love everyday, but they don't walk out they seek help getting back to where they used to be. you just don't up and leave! You forsake others! I could go on! I'm married and will be married till I die! I take my vowels seriously and will do whatever I have to doto stay committed! My hubby feels the same way! So for me marriage is the bigger one!
@mom2ing haha we need to get together and find a middle ground cause ten years seems insane!!! But that does help me understand why a lot of the American ladies on here are always making a deal out of marriage! I do think 4-6 months is ridiculous. I've been 'married' for a while now...still no ring yet though haha
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For the record, I want to divorce my husband at least once a week and will probably want to give my kids up for adoption when they're surly teenagers, but I'd never really leave any of them because I love the lot of them - for better or worse! Now my mother on the other hand... ;-)
At this moment in time I would lean towards a baby because I am personally striving to provide the best for her. I make self sacrifices, as does my husband; however, the caveat is that a healthy relationship is as much a contributing factor on your level of commitment. They play off each other and will not work if you isolate them individually.
Regardless, I still feel a baby is a bigger commitment with being able to be common law married within six months, marriage is something that I don't find to be (I'm probably gonna get freaked on for this) a big deal. Bringing life into the world, big big deal.