baby daddy has a maybe baby and the mom's being a big..... (its kinda long)

jalem

My boyfriend has a possible child with one of his ex's he didnt find out till a year ago when the baby was about to be two and he saw her at a grocery store. the thing is the baby was born when his ex was already married to her now husband and the baby looks like the husband (who is mexican my bf is black she is white)... but she keeps telling him that it's his baby but when we ask for a paternity test she says that it's not the right time.. let her get money... before we got together (11 1/2 months ago) she told him let her get a divorce before she gets the test... and basically she beat around the bush and then stopped contacting him... about 6 months ago she messaged me a really mean message about being a dead beat dad and dont let it happen to me and all his money will be going to child support and yada yada ya... and i just told her that if it really is his baby i wont stand in his way of doing his responsiblity as a dad which he wants to do if it is his... and she got all," he kicked me and his baby out" and said a whole bunch of things i knew were lies. she was all i dont want him back i just want what is right fully "mine". then she started messaging him and it sounded like she was trying to get him back saying things like, your daughter misses you (he met her twice) and i just want her to go to her dad if i pass my dr says i have 6months to live. which is another lie concidering she messaged him today (6 months later) and when he asked her brother he said that she was lying. well she messaged today saying stuff about how shes hurt that he's having another baby and she really thought they could work it out, let me remind you she's married. i dont know how to react. he is completely open with me and shows me everything she messages him and i know he doesn't want her back. i just don't know if i should tell her to stop until she allows him a paternity test. the whole thing confuses me because if they broke up while she was pregnant she got married and then had the baby all im a matter of 9 months i really think that it's not his... but if it is then i dont wanna stop him being allowed to see her... im confused

squrit299

i would tell her to stop texting tell yall get a test

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mommaE

Do the paternity test u can order off line. U just take samples at home & they will send results. So she can't use husband as excuss. It's completely private but is also admissible n court if it came out he needed to peruse his rights

eaparker

Get a lawyer and get a test they aren't that expensive

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redhead25

Document everything and keep all messages. Maybe find a way to get a paternity test. Call child support in ur state and tell them the situation and ask to get a paternity test. If she's on state assistance i guarantee they will jump on the opportunity to find paternity. Also see if you can find out if her hubbys name is on the birth certificate. If it is I would block all communication.

Kriss82001

I would get the test, but you should prob stay out of it on the slim chance it is his. Trust me when I say that nothing causes more drama then a baby mama & the new girl getting into it, especially over the child. He's being open, honest & responsible, no reason for you to be a part of it. Besides, who wants that stress anyways? >:D<

keylanieq

Im sorry you have to being chasing for that girl but one thing is clear for me: is not hes baby: because she dont want to do the test. It is so easy she just need to ask for one and them the gov do it. So she knows is not hes baby! The black blood is so strong and if the baby dont have anything of black them is so clear is not hes baby. So you just tell him you need to see that test to belive her or he just need to stop her now!

mommaE

Do the paternity test u can order off line. U just take samples at home & they will send results. So she can't use husband as excuss. It's completely private but is also admissible n court if it came out he needed to peruse his rights

redhead25

The only thing about getting one online is do u honestly think she will let you perform the test on the baby knowing what it is bc she seems to not want it done. I just think ordering one online would be a waste if money. Make the courts make her.

jalem

@bri2186 the thing is we already talked about it the last time and HE told her to stop messaging him until she gives him proof... he wants to take care of her if she is his... i just dont understand why she would want to break us up if shes happily married... and the baby calls her husband daddy... and from the messages she sent husband thinks that she is his...
@mommaE i would suggest that the only thing is she is in texas we live in hawaii now...
@eaparker we are thinking about that for when we go back after the baby is born..
@firsttimemommytobe if you saw the picture she sent him of the baby and her husband (i know right why would you send a pic of your husband to the person who might be your baby's dad) she looks just like her husband skin color eyes nose hair everything but my bf says that if theres the possibility he isn't gonna risk it. he wants the test done.
@twin_angels the first time she did it was to be spiteful if you read how nasty the letter was you would know. and as soon as we get back we are thinking of getting a lawyer..
@jdensma i have something to say to her... but it wont be nice and i dont want to be a mean person...

mommaE

The way she is refusing I don't think its his & she knows it!! Sounds like she may be jealouse he moved on & looking for a way to keep contact

LittleFae

I would do a court ordered dna test so she would have to submit to it and if it is not his child I would then file restraining orders against her because she sounds bat crazy

jalem

@redhead25 i dont believe she is on government support, her family is well-to-do... and she wont show him the birth certificate so theres no way for me to know if he is or not. that was the first thing i thought of when he told me she was married when the baby was born... and i print out all the messages she sends and keeps it for in case we do try to pursue it.
@kriss82001 i have already spoken to her and she knows that i will not prevent anything if it is his baby. and before i was pregnant and trying to help him get the test i was even willing to step aside if the baby was his and he wanted to be with her ( he made it perfectly clear that he did not and he only wanted the baby if it's his) i just need help deciding on whether i should ask her to stop because she is saying ill towards my lil baby girl and i dont think i can be nice if it continues.
@keylanieq he's told her to stop before i got pregnant but you cant block inbox messages on facebook... reason we wonder is like @firsttimemommytobe says looks can be deceiving in mixed babies.

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jalem

@twin_angels yeah well alot of what she told me were lies because when my bf messaged her bringing up some of the things she said her story changed. for instance she never lived with him but somehow he managed to kick out her and the baby(who he didnt meet till 2 month before we were officially together and living with by best friends brother) its gonna be a few months until we get the lawyer because we want to have the baby in hawaii. i just want to be reassured that telling her to go suck off would be a good idea and wont ruin his chance of custody(partial or otherwise) because of it.
@mommaE but why would she do that if she's supposedly happily married and her daughter is happy with "her Dad"(husband)
@littleFae until i can do that should i ask her to stop messaging him...

keylanieq

You can try going to ur privacy conf on facebook and block her! She can try to send u a menssage from another account so you can change ur name too and hide you from the search facebook tool. Try it

jalem

@firsttimemommytobe yeah i was gonna ask you if you are hawaiian or polynesian because you look just like my cousin Ariana who is 100% polynesian...

jalem

@keylanieq i have changed it but she can still send me inbox messages... and she has mutual friends with me and thats how she found us the first time...

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keylanieq

Them block her. I had to block an exbestfriend and she never could send me anything again.

jalem

@firsttimemommytobe yeah i get mexican all the time and im hawaiian/filipino/white/nativeamerican... and thanks i hope it does too...

jalem

@keylanieq i'll try that... thank you for your help...

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keylanieq

@firstimemommytobe yes im agree with you in that one but again you can see the diference between a black/withe person and a mexican / withe person. The fact is she dont want to make the test why?

Mommy2_Armani

I would nicely say either give us the DNA or stop with the bs because were not going to put up wit it and if she still won't and she is still messing with yall take her to court because there are some women out there that will stop at nothing to destroy another womens life

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keylanieq

Dont worrie i can feel how is that being pregnant and have to deal with that kind of things :X good luck!

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