I think the most important thing is never displine out of anger or annoyance.And stay in control. Make sure you let your child know why they are being punishedane that it is a concequence of there unexceptable actions.Spanking works good if its not overused or abused and only as a severe punishment. Time out and restrictions work good too just make sure your consistent
@mommeee123 you didn't understand my comment. I only said black ppl because I dnt know about other races... I wasnt saying that its ONLY black ppl... I just can't make that assumption about other races because I'm like completely clueless. I haven't witnessed other races spanking their children so there for I can not use them as an example....
And also I dnt need a disclaimer sweetie. I got exactly what you were saying. I just voiced my opinion on one particular thing. Please dnt twist my post. Maybe I should have included a disclaimer for you as well..
I try to only spank when its dangerous... eg. I have told my son on many occasions don't touch the stove and now when he goes to even if its not on he gets spanked. I have done the same thing in a car park when he tried to run away. I would rather he have a sore bottom than seriously hurt. Now that he is almost 2 he understands a lot more of what is being said to him so a strong scolding and time out or taking toys away works much better, but last resort after warnings gets him a smack on the bottom or thigh ( he is still in nappies so not much point smacking him on the bottom as he can't feel it lol)
@ KristenMarie Maybe you didn't understand my comment. Sweetie. I STILL have no idea what RACE has to do with how you discipline a child. I realize you said "black ppl" because you're black but I don't understand what it has to do with how you disciplin a child? What if I would have said "Me being blonde, I witnessed lots of blondes spank their kids and it had no effect on their wrong doing as an adult." and then went on to say "I only said blondes because I don't know about other hair colors." That makes as much sense to me as what you said. Maybe its just me tho..I'm not trying to be facetious, I guess I apparently didn't understand your comment.
COLOR HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT!!!!! I'M JUST SAYING!!!! I DIDN'T FEEL IT WOULD BE APPROPRIATE FOR ME TO SPEAK ABOUT ANOTHER RACE WHEN I OBVIOUSLY DO NOT KNOW HOW OTHER RACES DO!!! I WAS SIMPLY GIVING AN EXAMPLE OF WHAT I MYSELF HAVE WITNESSED WITHIN MY OWN RACE.
DISCLAIMER:::::: Black ppl are clearly not the only ones thugs and punks consist of. Because I have absolutely no idea how other races operate when it comes to disciplining their children, I can only speak my opinion on what I know!!!!!! @mommeee123
You obviously thought since I said thugs that I was referring to black ppl and inadvertently made it about race. I was just waiting on you to half way admit it. I don't wish to keep going back and fourth with you, but for the record typing in all caps does not help get your point across, especially when you just say the exact same thing you said in the previous post. You have yet to answer my question as to why you even brought up your race when the topic of discussion was ways to discipline kids. I see that I'm getting no where and this is turning into yet another debate so I'm done posting. Sry to have bothered you.
Smh. Yea you are getting no where and obviously neither am I. Now its I just assumed you were talking about blacks because you said thugs... Lmao... Thats clearly not at all what I said. I was just trying to directly state my opinion based on what's familiar to me. Sorry you thought I was turning it into a color discussion. That was honestly not my intent. And as for the caps, I thought maybe if it was written like that you would understand. Once again, sorry you didn't. Lol but no hard feelings. I dnt take anything serious on this site. We're all just a bunch of females with raging hormones. Everythings not always gonna be peachy... But any who.... Have a good one! Its been swell :-D @mommeee123
I wasn't spanked as a child but I have spanked my son on occasion. But only for major things like him running in the road after I told him to stop at the sidewalk. When what he did was dangerous and I wanted him to know to never do that again. But now that he's 7 for major things which he's only had to do it twice is he gets to alternate sets of jumping jacks push ups and running place. Nothing too extreme...were military so we have the mentality that he's either gonna be really good or really strong lol. But for everyday things he hates to write sentences and depending how bad is the amount of sentences and he always has to give them to the person that he disrespect and apologize. I just try to think of a punishment that is still helping him either physical activity or practice writing. Grounding him and taking stuff away doesn't work for him. You have to get creative sometimes.
My bf lol my kids get told! They also have positive reinforcement as well and if they hit or do something completely unacceptable they get their ass beat
I was I guess you could say abused by my step mother. My dad married her when I was 3. It's started out as spankings and turned into everyday the fear for my life. My leg was broken, my foot was burnt by a lighter I had multiple stitches in my head and bruises everyday. I finally got away when I turned 13 and when to live with my mother. To this day my dad still doesn't know what she did or chooses not to, I'm 18. Thats why I wont spank my children, but I do believe in swats :P Btw iv never told anyone that, feels weird to Tell strangers lol
Also remember some kids. Act out because they. Have something going on...my son has adhd didn't realize what it was for years.now hes got things together n listens great! I spanked him once. It broke my heart. Time out worked great!
I will b doing the combination method ..but of coarse when he is out of the toddler young child stage I know my limits and I think using one method can make them immune to it I will alternate time outs, taking away privileges, and spankings only on the ...hopefully in public my kids will behave with the look though
@mama_kat Thank you!!!!! That was my point exactly. I didnt think it was really fair to voice my opinion on more than what I know... Thank you a million times!! I'm glad someone understood what I was trying to say..
I will also do the spankings.. I did with my 5yr old and he is the most well behaved kid I know. He doesn't get spanking now anymore, he knows better. My s.i.l. kids are such spoiled brats! And I hate that all she does is try to bribe them and it doesn't work. We were at the mall and her daughter threw a fit, starting yelling at her mom sayin " I want this toy and I want it now!!" I was soooo embarrassed. But my son was walking next to me holding my hand just looking at toys. They're both the same age. I found that my son cares a lot more now if my husband and I are upset with him than if we spank him. So if we seem "mad" at him that hurts him more than a spanking. So he doesn't do anything that he thinks will make us mad. Lol. And mad to him means a us telling him what's wrong and right of what he's doing in a stern manner.
My experience and opinion on hitting: All my brothers were spanked as children, so was I. I was so fearful of my mom. When I was in 5th, 7th and 8th grade I moved to my dads 6 hours away b.c. he NEVER once hit any of us, when I got to 9th grade I moved back home and she started it again. I started to secretly cut myself out of anger and hurt. It was the only pain I could control. My mom had just gotten her grandson b.c. his mother didn't want him. He was 21 months old so my mom was real stressed since I was 15 and she had to start over.
My depression got so bad that I couldn't talk to my mom, so she would get on top me and hit me and scream 'why won't you talk to me??'. At the end of the 9th grade year I tried to take my life with pills. My mom nor brothers didn't find out til I tried to run away a few months later and the cops found me and my diary. They took me to a childs, like a rehab place for a couple weeks. My mom played nice and they let me go home early. Even though she knew what I was going through she still didnt stop. Finally I ran away again and was staying at my friends. It was the summer and I was going to summer school. I got called down to the office and w/o thinking I actually went. BAM there was my mom. I was soo pissed. In the end both parents agreed I go live with my friend if I still went to school. I finished 9th grade. Moved back in with my mom(BIG MISTAKE) b.c. I thought things were better. But they weren't. I ended up dropping out of school. Each year I tried going back but I didnt last more then 2 months each time. I wasn't doing any drugs(nor have I ever) I was just so depressed and lost with no one I could talk to.
To this day I can't speak about my feelings.. I can type it out like I am now.. But that's it. I'm 21 now. Trying to get my ged. When I am not living with my mom we have a pretty good relationship.. I try to forgive her. I just push all the hurtful memories to the side.. 'forgive and forget' is not real easy. She says we are to alike and that's why we fight.. But go don't let me truly be like her..
I honestly think it was how she was raised that makes her the way she is. She says her mom was very mean to her and was very hateful. But she has never explained it in words.
Soo with all that said,
I plan to raise my kids like the 'super nanny' shows too.. If a child does something naughty get down to eye level. Tell them no. Explain why its bad/naughty. If they do it again. Get down on eye level and tell them they are going to time out and explain why they are going to time out.. After their time out is over ask them why they think they went to time out. And they say idk or shrug then explain it again. I run a daycare and this method works wonderfully for me.
I was a teen mom determined not to spank my son, like my own mother did to us. I used time outs/ take things away. Now that my kids are 15,11 they definately walk all over me. I just think discipline any form is about consistancy and follow through. Which I'm still learning how.
Each child is different, for one child a timeout or loss of privilege may work and for another it might be spanking. My 4 yr old doesnt get spanked, because a timeout in her room works. Sometimes my 2 yr old needs spanked for not obeying several times. I try to be consistent with each child, don't threaten a punishment if you don't intend to follow thru.
I was spanked as a child but I think more out of frusteration by my mother. My father never hit us and I was more affaid of him than my mother.
I've given my daughter a spanking on her bottom, on palm of hand or thigh but I try different routes most of the time. Time outs work great or early bed time, taking toys or movies. Most of the time she acts out because shes frusterated or sleepy and talking to her helps more often than not now thats she's 4 and is able to comunicate.
You'll figure out you way as you go. I never wanted to spank my children, but sometimes they need just that tap to snap them out of thier "crazies" as I call it. LOL I also agree, never to spank or yell out of frusteration. it will just teach them to do the same with thier children. I am trying to cut the cycle with me so that it doesn't keep going with my children.
I don't spank my kids. They get toys, tv time, and other activities they enjoy taken away. My 2 and 3 year old both are put in time out if they do something wrong. It has been very effective. I was spanked as a child and not just with a hand or belt but with many other things and i swore to myself that i would never spank my kids.
Comments
Now that he is almost 2 he understands a lot more of what is being said to him so a strong scolding and time out or taking toys away works much better, but last resort after warnings gets him a smack on the bottom or thigh ( he is still in nappies so not much point smacking him on the bottom as he can't feel it lol)
DISCLAIMER:::::: Black ppl are clearly not the only ones thugs and punks consist of. Because I have absolutely no idea how other races operate when it comes to disciplining their children, I can only speak my opinion on what I know!!!!!!
@mommeee123
Btw iv never told anyone that, feels weird to Tell strangers lol
All my brothers were spanked as children, so was I. I was so fearful of my mom. When I was in 5th, 7th and 8th grade I moved to my dads 6 hours away b.c. he NEVER once hit any of us, when I got to 9th grade I moved back home and she started it again. I started to secretly cut myself out of anger and hurt. It was the only pain I could control. My mom had just gotten her grandson b.c. his mother didn't want him. He was 21 months old so my mom was real stressed since I was 15 and she had to start over.
My depression got so bad that I couldn't talk to my mom, so she would get on top me and hit me and scream 'why won't you talk to me??'. At the end of the 9th grade year I tried to take my life with pills. My mom nor brothers didn't find out til I tried to run away a few months later and the cops found me and my diary. They took me to a childs, like a rehab place for a couple weeks. My mom played nice and they let me go home early. Even though she knew what I was going through she still didnt stop. Finally I ran away again and was staying at my friends. It was the summer and I was going to summer school. I got called down to the office and w/o thinking I actually went. BAM there was my mom. I was soo pissed. In the end both parents agreed I go live with my friend if I still went to school. I finished 9th grade. Moved back in with my mom(BIG MISTAKE) b.c. I thought things were better. But they weren't. I ended up dropping out of school. Each year I tried going back but I didnt last more then 2 months each time. I wasn't doing any drugs(nor have I ever) I was just so depressed and lost with no one I could talk to.
To this day I can't speak about my feelings.. I can type it out like I am now.. But that's it. I'm 21 now. Trying to get my ged. When I am not living with my mom we have a pretty good relationship.. I try to forgive her. I just push all the hurtful memories to the side.. 'forgive and forget' is not real easy. She says we are to alike and that's why we fight.. But go don't let me truly be like her..
I honestly think it was how she was raised that makes her the way she is. She says her mom was very mean to her and was very hateful. But she has never explained it in words.
Soo with all that said,
I plan to raise my kids like the 'super nanny' shows too.. If a child does something naughty get down to eye level. Tell them no. Explain why its bad/naughty. If they do it again. Get down on eye level and tell them they are going to time out and explain why they are going to time out.. After their time out is over ask them why they think they went to time out. And they say idk or shrug then explain it again. I run a daycare and this method works wonderfully for me.
(Please no awe I'm sorry. Its just my life)
I've given my daughter a spanking on her bottom, on palm of hand or thigh but I try different routes most of the time.
Time outs work great or early bed time, taking toys or movies. Most of the time she acts out because shes frusterated or sleepy and talking to her helps more often than not now thats she's 4 and is able to comunicate.
You'll figure out you way as you go. I never wanted to spank my children, but sometimes they need just that tap to snap them out of thier "crazies" as I call it. LOL
I also agree, never to spank or yell out of frusteration. it will just teach them to do the same with thier children. I am trying to cut the cycle with me so that it doesn't keep going with my children.
You'll do a great job i'm sure.