Mil in delivery room :/

kennedymonroe11

So my mil is insisting that she be in the room with me and her son while im giving birth....and I am not sure im comfort. With this at all honestly bc I love her but she can be very loud and somewhat obnoxious...and I do not want a cheerleader in the room while im trying to push out the baby. Also im afraid she might take away the moment we see our baby for the first time by butting in....ughh im I just being awfull or what? Idk what to do about this situation and I dont want to hurt her feelings.....help? Lol:/

blueberrysmom

Tell her you and your husband have decided that you'll just be having the two of you for that special family bonding moment. Everyone else is welcome after that. Don't let anybody pressure you. It's your day!

Jwigs

I don't even want my own mother in the room. Just me and my man. I might let her in... but so far I want it to be a small party. Just the three of us, our new family.

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crazyhmommy

You should be strait with her, I already let everyone know its just me amd my hubby and the docs lol its your time not hers you should e comfortable, as much as possible, seeing how youl be the one in,labor

PEsMommY

Awe I'm sorry that's an awkward situation. Maybe talk bout it to your bd and then have him tell her that although u both love her and want her to be a part of your new baby, that it's be better if she wait til after delivery. You can also use the excuse only 1 extra person on room hospital policy. You don't need the stress. Good luck

Jwigs

That's right, it's not her day. She may have made the man that made the baby, but she didn't make this baby. And it's an intimate, unforgettable day. Don't look back, wishing you had put your foot down.

wendylouwhoo

Same situation here but with my mom & some other family members. I only want me & hubby so tonight we are sitting down and writing out a letter to everyone stating our wishes. We hope we wont hurt anyone's feeling by doing it this way. Good Luck....I know exactly how you feel!

kennedymonroe11

@wendylouwhoo thats actually a good idea but when would you show everyone the letter?

kennedymonroe11

Has anyone actually had a bad experience from mil being involved? I hate to say it but im going to want to kick her ass if I decide to let her stay in the room and she takes away from the experience for us:(

wendylouwhoo

I'm having my baby shower in 2 weeks. I didn't want to hear family say I'm gonna be in there over & over at the shower so we are going to mail it or email it this week to everyone. I want a peaceful delivery, not a party. I know a few might get mad but this is our plan & since I'm 40 this is probably the only child I will have. Id hand the letter out a month before due date unless you think there will be issues at shower & in That case sooner!

wendylouwhoo

My bf.mom got trapped in birth room. She did sit quietly but wasn't supposed to be in there. Not many can sit quietly .....lol.

kennedymonroe11

@wendylouwhoo we might just have a little meeting at our baby shower with everyone and explain what we want to do bc my hubby has an issue as well he does not want anyone holding our daughter after she is born besides his mother and my father.....and we have very large families lol.

wendylouwhoo

Good luck ........ it's a touchy situation but its ultimately the mom & dad to be decision.

kennedymonroe11

@wendylouwhoo lmao if she could sit quietly and behave this disscussion wouldnt exist....i would be fine with that but unfortunately my mil is dramatic as hell and I know that quiet and calm will not be the situation lol ty for your help its much appreciated:) I need to grow big kahunas before this baby shower lol.

one5one

I have an aunt saying the same thing. I don't want her there. She can act like she knows it all. I don't wanna deal w that. Its gonna be me & hub. Til I decide ready for visitors!! It may even be the day after labor that I want people there idk yet. But not in the delivery room that's for sure. Talk to bd. If that don't work tell ur dr & nurses u want them to tell mil u can only have bd in room w u.

surprisenumber3

With my first daughter my mom insisted that she be in the room, I wasnt sure how i felt about it either. My husband and i decided whomever would like to be there could but we laid the ground rules before hand. 1. If i decide you cant be there anymore I am sorry but out you must go!
My mil decided she was fine with waiting in the waiting room. my mom decided she was going to stay. However she quickly became annoying, telling me when i was having a contraction (like i couldn't feel it) So since the agreement was in place before, i yelled at her to get out and my husband quickly helped her out. No feelings were hurt and she knew ahead of time it was possible i would be uncomfortable with her there.
With number 2 nobody even tried to stay except my hubby! apparently I am a bear when giving birth!

booface

Satan AKA my MIL isn't allowed within 50 feet of me or my vagina! I personally wouldnt have a problem just giving her the name of the wrong hospital....but hey, you did say you liked her, so a letter would work too. Lol!

Momma2joe

You can have the nurses tell everyone that there's only one Extra person in the room. I know its part of my hospitals policy to go by he mothers wishes without letting people know its the mother who made the decision on whose in the room.

PEsMommY

@booface lol I'm with u on that

blueberrysmom

Lmao @booface!

txmoorekat

We made the rule that it's only me and hubby in the delivery room with our first, and it's stuck. I made the rule because my daughter was my mom's 1st grandchild and my mom is well known for her flair for the dramatic. I laid the rules out up front so everyone was clear and nobody had their feelings hurt.

trisha

With our son we had both sets of parents there the guys went out before I had him but dad stayed. My mom and his step mom. I thought she would help being a nurse which she did. But I was pissed she brought food with and ate right in front of me. With #2 and #3 my parents and hubby were there the hole time and dad waited in the hall. That was the best too. So this time it will be the same my mom and hubby will be in the room for the birth. My mom works where I go so it helps. I won't let her out of the room for any reason. She stays the whole time. Even when they ask her to leave when they do the epidurali say nope she stays or I won't let you do it. That works so well.

onemoreontheway

I had the same problem with my first sons birth. We didn't know she planned on being in the room until we arrived at the hospital. We didn't know how to confront it either but the nurses were very helpful and let her know that we weren't allowing ANY visitors into our room besides myself and my husband. My MIL took it well as far as I know and my husband and I got the time we wanted to enjoy our first born. You are definitely not being awful. It is a moment that I would never want to share with anyone besides my husband.

magcaw

I wouldn't even let my own mother come to the hospital before I started pushing. I didn't want anyone in the room before or during delivery, just my husband. My fil and my husband's best friend and his wife totally ignored me and ended up sitting in the waiting room until 3 in the morning before finally going home (my labor stalled and I had a c-section late the following morning). If my mil were alive I wouldn't have allowed her in either, no matter how much I liked her. That first was something I wanted share with my husband only. Now that I'm on my third c-section, I'm considering allowing my sister (an RN) in for the procedure because she's never seen one, but that's it. I still won't let my mom, even though she wants to--she is RIDICULOUS when things get stressful, and I don't want to have to worry about her. I told her point-blank that I love her but she's useless when it seems like we are hurt, so she can wait outside.

magcaw

@mariahaucoin77 I think it's neat that you are close enough to your father to be comfortable with him being in the room.

jbandno3

I don't have to worry about my MIL being there, she will be the one taking care of my two older children. I will have my mom with me during labor, but when it comes time for pushing she has to go. I love having that moment with my husband and the baby before anyone else comes in. We will then have our older kids come meet their baby before any of the grandparents are allowed in. I think our parents were all in the waiting room when our oldest was born, but she was the first grandchild on both sides so i didn't mind them being in the waiting room. I just don't want an audience during labor or delivery and my MIL would be shocked by the words that come out of my mouth when i am in pain.

salsabia

Hell to the No!! I wouldn't want her in there.