Why do they treat me like this?? :( long sorry UPDATE NEED REAL ADVICE

one5one

Ok I have these few girls I've know since high school. Got kicked out after soph year but remained in touch. Got pregnant in 2000 @ 19. They were kind of there & threw me a little shower. I went threw too much since then with my parents addictions, death & other family issues. They weren't really around nor did I think much about them. Well like 2 years ago I started hanging with them & one ( call her A) in particular more. We'd go drinking a lot but had fun. I mentioned I was kinda ttc. Well A said shed like a baby too but it was hard because of a small uterus & I guess only one tube & pcos. I have pcos too. It makes it hard to conceive. But since '05 I've been getting my health better & lost weight for ttc. So I went out with them one week after I got my bfp. Told them I can't drink & why. Oh congrats they said! & A said she wants to be godmom. Well I've had issues with loneliness & spotting & wanted to go for a girls night. Sure they said. Let us know when. But other than that I've gotten NO response. & A said shed go for lunch. My kid & I waited & waited so I called A. Oh she said I can't go I'm tired. Tired?? Bitch is you pregnant? Any way I gave up. But today two were on FB so I messaged them for a chat. Well A logged off asap like always when I try to chat. The other ignored me then logged off too. WTF IS GOING ON??? You don't treat friends like this!! I don't know anything any more. I do want them to go to my shower for their gifts but I don't want to let them know gender. They can know like others when I send the invites. I don't want them at the hospital either. If they act like this they don't get special treatment. But it makes me sad. They don't like or comment on my FB posts. While people I haven't seen in years always comment or like it. I don't post a lot either cuz I don't like to brag. :-((

TeenMommy

I'm sorry they treat you that way! They aren't true friends

one5one

No they aren't! I'm trying to bite my toungue til my shower so I get their gifts then ill tell them how I see it! I mean we are in our 30s now!! Why don't they act like it then! @TeenMommy

Juneduebug

i had "friends" like that, and i dropped them like a hot potato once i got my self-esteem up. which of course made them defensive and all blamey, but my life is better now without them. i expect others to treat me the way i treat them , it is a system of reciprocity rather than altruism

blueberrysmom

I don't think their gifts are worth it. Focus on your true friends.

Juneduebug

Yeah, keep in mind that they might not get you what you ask for or anything at all for that matter, which may upset you further. Or they might buy you the cheapest gift possible. So maybe the gifts really aren't worth it! But its totally up to you

one5one

@Juneduebug but i don't think they'd care if I was around or not. But I know they'd get something good. Gotta show others & themselves that they are "good" people. Ha! They got good $$$ so the loot would be nice.
But @blueberrysmom yea I'm at that point. I don't even wanna tell them any info. Wats sad is A's sis-in-law comments and asks about things sometimes. I hardly know her! She's like you gotta tell me the gender. I wanna start buying things. But she's not jealous for a kid cuz she's got a 2yr old. I think these "friends" are bitter. Oh two words for you....Throat Punch!! Think that's wat they need!

Juneduebug

tell them you want gender-neutral things! they can find those, so why harass you for the gender?

blueberrysmom

I'm glad you figured out it's THROAT PUNCH time! Screw those girls. Ugh!

anadoll92

She probably was tired. She doesnt have to ve prego ppl got other things in their lives dnt let it upset u sit down and talk with her

Mommie_McAtee

you may just be assuming things. if you haven't asked them then you'd never know how they feel for sure. and maybe they are on facebook on their phones. and I think that is petty to say they never like your post. come on those are just assumptions. you may be a bit emotional!

one5one

@blueberrysmom I know right!!
@Juneduebug the fake friends don't bother me for gender just A's sil & my family. But yea the could get neutral stuff.

one5one

@anadoll92 maybe but she also could've rescheduled instead of just letting it be. What they really don't understand is I spent 5 yrs getting myself baby ready. I've got pcos whuch causes infertility & weight gain hbp insulin resistance which lead to my diabetes. I worked hard to get here. But I guess being bitter, they see what they want to.

one5one

@Mommy_McAtee but I have gave them the benefit of the doubt. Along with many times as well as yesterday trying to chat with them thru FB chat. They are always on with their iPhones. I know they got the message. I also see how A logs off EVERY time I leave a message. Then NEVER responds back! My hormones?? I think not. & even if it is. Which I've told them I'm lonely & miss them. Then they ignore me! Petty!! Yes they are! Not me!! If they was preg instead of me, I would NOT have ignored their many requests to hang out. My assumptions are right because they keep proving them OVER & OVER & OVER AGAIN.

one5one

Ok. So I'm gonna be planning baby shower soon after I find the gender. So I've contacted these girls only on FB a few times. I'm thinking of texting them saying id like to hang out. See what happens then cuz I know they'll receive that message. With FB you never know. So ima text them the hang out thing first. Cuz I know if I straight jump to I need your address they'll just give it to me without giving a true shit about me. Just wanna go to shower. So should I text them that first?? I hate this drama shit & don't like being rude even though people treat me lije shit. I strive for acceptance in life because I truely have no one really. If they don't hang out & continue to ignore me I doubt they'll be getting a invite. Though id like to invite A's sil. Idk anymore!!!!! ~X(

Mimii36

I wouldnt chase them!

one5one

@mimibrowneyez36 yes I know but I just don't get it anymore. What ifs always go thru my mind. What if they didn't get my facebook message?

one5one

AAlso A said shed go registering with me. But I'm not taking her. But I'm thinking I mite post on FB something like I can't wait to go registering now I know the gender!. Also I'm not posting gender. I'm waiting for the invites to tell certain people. Only close famiky will know for now.

Babygirl716

Sounds like alot of drama. I think i'd try & find some new "friends"...

Mimii36

@one5one trust me they got it. They are just avoiding you. & you chasing them makes you look silly. They are probably laughing about it right now. PLEASE DONT TAKE THAT OFFENSIVELY!
I just know how these type of girls are. You dont need them sweetie. Find new friends.

hiannaaa

I agree with @mimibrowneyez36 hun Women are just cruel sometimes for no reason, try not to take it personally, they probably are honestly jealous.

starrxoxo9

Yea I agree with the other posts, its not worth it to chase them around. Who cares what they think?? It's about you and your baby now. You said you're kind of alone, what about the babys father?

blissmarie23

No gift they could give you is worth your value. If they aren't friends I wouldn't invite them unless you want their company. I have some "friends" from college who acted the same way when I moved back to their city. My daughter is almost 2 and most of them have never even met her even though we r almost down the road from each other. I didn't invite them to my baby shower for this baby. And I haven't regretted it. If you can't even return a message on facebook even though youre on every day then you don't care enough about me to be involved in important events in my life. It is sad though to feel like your friends could let go of a relationship so easily. Sorry ur going through this too.

BkE913

I had this same issue while pregnant. My supposed "best friend" who was supposed to throw me my baby shower backed out 2 days prior to my shower and basically told me I was a bad person and refused to attend my shower, so I ended up throwing it myself. A lot of my "friends" dropped off while I was pregnant so I have found out who my tru friends are. My daughter will be 3 weeks Tuesday and I have had only one friend come visit since I had her. Only one. Needless to say, I have realized I am pretty confident I am on my own. It makes me super sad but I am glad I know who is REAL and who I don't need to worry about anymore.

one5one

@Babygirl716 I have othet friends. Its just disappointing cuz I've known them for 15yrs. And we were kinda close b4 I got preg for the 2nd time.
@mimibrowneyez36 I'm not offended at all! I havnt contacted them in like 2 months. So I thought id give it a try.

one5one

@hiannaaa that's what I figure. Cuz A was/is ttc & the other one wants one but is too insecure to have a bf. I know they are bitter & jealous!!

Now question for all & any one.
I'm thinking of doin the event of FB too. Not sure though. & since I'm doubting asking them for addresses should I tag them in the event? If I do that?

one5one

@starrxoxo9 oh I'm married with the dad of our soon to be 11yrs old. But my parents are passed on. & my 2 aunts are nutty. Some friends true good ones are far. Or one is older but very near by. But she's so busy I havnt told her yet. I don't wanna blurt it on the fone... I'm preg!! I value her. But it just seems like nows the time to rely on good people & I'm just ... idk but don't wanna act too needy. I guess.

one5one

@blissmarie23 your very rite!! Its just pretty tuff. Especially at a happy time like this. They act like I got the plague or leprosy!! Idiots! I wanna get them pissed off as much as I am. I know its not right. But I do! I wanna make them feel bad.

Babygirl716

@one5one , did u say if bd is involved? These girls sound immature, try acting as tho it doesnt bother you (even if it does). You said one had mentioned going to register with you, I think you should post something on facebook like 'had a great day today, went and registered with "so&so" '. Just to let "A" see you DO have other friends that love u! Lol

Babygirl716

Sry! Just saw ur post about bd!!

one5one

@BkE913 aww congrats on your new baby!! But you do realize who really cares when times get tuff or when things happen that they want to happen to them. I've known the feeling of when others got preg & I wanted to but couldn't. These people got nice houses & big$$$. I'm rather humble. I could have a house but am comfy in this lil mobile home my dad bought. We will move one day when we can truely handle the monthly bills of a house. This is sooo much cheaper so we can save. I don't get mad cuz they go places or do things. They don't k ow what its like to have a kid no one can watch so u can party. They just aren't in my mind set. I'm 30 but a lot of people I deal with are 45+. & my other gf who's far away is a mom of ! I never got mad for her having kids when I couldn't. I visited her when I could. If she were closer then I probably wouldn't feel so bad. But she's over 1hr away & I'm not driving now. But she's gonna visit. & her sister too. Whom I'm buddys wirh some time when we all are free one weekend.