Please read, Daddy had a heart attack
last week on thursday, its just about 1am & louie(baby dad) gets up to go to d bathroom & I just happen to pick up his phone and I see txts to this alicia. they call each other babe, txt 24\7, send dirty pics to each other, he talks with her more then me! so he comes out the bath room & I start yelling a bunch of crap asking him wtf is goin on, & hes just worried about getting his phone. so were restling over it hes pushing me down & im 6 months prego so I get violent. then he starts complaining of chest pain & he needs to call 911. I just think he saying that to get his phone back so im still yellin & hittin. & we end up in d living room I leave outside with his phone & im looking through it for about a minute & finally stop & think. I know he has heart problems since he was little, he has kemosaki disease since 19months, & 4 open heart sugeries. so I run inside and im yellin his name & lookin around then I see him on d floor, purple, theres foam coming out his mouth. I check his pulse & nothing no beat, hes dead. the only thing I could think to do is cpr & call 911 at d same time. im histaricle telling the operator hes dead, hes had a heart attack, I dont know the exact address but this is the cross streets and name of the apartment complex & give them the number of the apartment. hes telling me we need the exact address & im like listen my boyfriends fn dead idk the exact address, u need to send help now your wasting time! finally he tells me ambulance is on the way & should be there in a couple minutes & to just keep doing the cpr. as soon as I heard the ambulance I run out side & im yelling hes in here please hurry. & they're taking there sweet as time walking up the stairs & im just amazed at how they acted when im telling them what is going on & they just dont care. they must have been doing cpr on him for like 5 minutes or so then they shocked him but nothing & again cpr & shocked him again & still nothing. & im just sitting there shaking watching them and crying. finally 20-30 minutes later they say there taking him to the hospital and I throw my shoes on & go. I call his sisters & no answer, so I call his dad & its 2am, ive never met him, hes never even heard of me. so im telling him louie had a heart attack & they cant get a pulse on him. while im waiting, im looking through louies phone, his calls, messages, texts, facebook, yahoo, everything. & wow this guy is such a liar & a cheater. hes talkin to girls about kids, sex, moving in together, all kinds of crap. & its not just 1 its like more then 10. & im in shock, I never would think of him to be that guy & hes d worst! plus he has a plenty of fish account that I couldnt get into so god know what kind how many more women hes lying to on there. i just dont know what to do im seeing & finding out all this stuff on one had but on the other, the man I love who im pregnant by is in criticle condition, no pulse, & idk if hes ganna make it. an hour later his dad & stepmom get there, & I tell them what happened. his stepmom asks me if im pregnant & if its louies & im like uhhh yeah. then we just get quiet for a while & the doctor comes in to get all of his medical history. & they tell us he went 80 minutes without oxygen, & they got a pulse finally but they had lost it three time. & they let us go back & see him & I just break down crying loud & shaking. he had so many needles in him a big tube through his mouth, one through his nose, it just does not look good at all. its traumatizing because I seen my grandpa like that for a few days then he died.
in the next few days I got to to talk to his sisters & other family & let me tell you I found out so much stuff I would have never thought of louie. his nickname is slut, he has 4 other kids besides the one I knew about, he was in manwhore dance crew, & so much other crap. uugh I just feel so stupid. but ive put all that mess aside & ive been with him by his side since hes been in the hospital. I just want to make sure he is going to make it. & if & when he is up talking & ready to go home, im just ganna say goodbye for good. if he wants to help me with the baby he can, he knows where I live, he knows my phone number. he can go on with his life because me & my son do not need all the stress he has caused before his heart attack. I dont know if thats mean or what but I cant stay with someone who has did me so damn dirty. any support comments or advise would be greatly appreciated.
in the next few days I got to to talk to his sisters & other family & let me tell you I found out so much stuff I would have never thought of louie. his nickname is slut, he has 4 other kids besides the one I knew about, he was in manwhore dance crew, & so much other crap. uugh I just feel so stupid. but ive put all that mess aside & ive been with him by his side since hes been in the hospital. I just want to make sure he is going to make it. & if & when he is up talking & ready to go home, im just ganna say goodbye for good. if he wants to help me with the baby he can, he knows where I live, he knows my phone number. he can go on with his life because me & my son do not need all the stress he has caused before his heart attack. I dont know if thats mean or what but I cant stay with someone who has did me so damn dirty. any support comments or advise would be greatly appreciated.
Comments
First, i'm glad he's not dead, whatever the bonehead does he doesn't deserve that. Second, lol.u even looked at his phone while he was in attack mode! 3rd, I'm proud of u for being by his side just to tell him goodbye! u deserve soo much better! N u will have that!
I know to most of you its dumb of me to be there for him d way I am, & im there morning to late night always d last to say goodnight & nearly 1st to say good morning.but the thing is regardless of what hes done to me & put me & his son through, I love him I truely love him & would do anything I could possibly do for him, im carrying his child & I feel attached even knowing he doesnt care or love me half as much as I do. I cant help how I feel, I tried to leave him many times befor this happened but I couldnt do it id fall right back into his bullshit. If he makes a full recovery or half recovery or not I cant stay with him not after everything ive found out, right now i forgive him of everything, when im there at the hospital nothing hes done to me matters or crosses my mind once. there is no point to be mad at him, I know he hasnt given me the support ive needed but im still here to give him all the love & support I can give. ive always been so angry and mean and unforgiving & held grudges but I made a commitment to myself at d beginning of this year to change, to learn to forgive & just b an all around better person & ive realized how freaking hard it is to be good & have happiness & how easy it is to b bad. im not happy but that doesnt mean because im in this shit hole im ganna say screw d world & b angry, Im ganna keep going work hard of getting happiness for my baby & I.
I cant imagine how you are feeling after having to deal with his dirty seacrets and to top it all off the heart attack but from what you are doing now for him, giving him the time to be by his side, and worring about him even though he played you wrong says so much about you!
Try and not stress yourself so much because now you have to worry about you and your baby!
its hard to smile through all of this I feel like I cant really talk about it to people but here. I finally got some good sleep last night & going to get ready for whatever happens with louie, he is strong & I hope & pray he gets out of this. thank you all for everything.
believe me I know I was wrong throw d first punch& im not proud of that.i replay that night many times in my head over & over, thinking what I could have done different, the best thing would have been to just put his phone down & walk out of that apartment forever & never turn back to him. I cant turn back d hands of time as bad as I want to but I also cant live in regret right now its just going to stress me out more then I already am with louies health. no one will ever know how hard it is to be in the situation im in unless you go through it yourself. im not making excusses either but it was going to happen sooner or later, he wasnt taking his medication for over 5 years, he had been telling me he wasnt feeling well & that hes short of breath & his chest is hurting for a couple months prior to this. im sorry for everything he is going through, it being my fault or not im doing all I can possibly do to comfort him take care of him & support him.
Update> they moved louie from intensive care to d normal floor he had a roomate but he was out d same day so he has a room to himself. I stayed the night with him last night, he was just coming down all of the drugs they had him on & was really wild, he would try & get off the bed & yell & moan kick his feet and move his hands all crazy. its like he was in pain too so the nurse did give him a little morphine. it put him to sleep for a little while less then 45 minutes. other then that he was up most the night, the nurses just arent that great the care is just not good enough. I had to turn him on his side every hour so he doesnt get any nasty stuff on his hiney and when he caughs I use this suction tube to get all d flem out of his mouth because they would take forever when I asked d nurses for help & I dont want him to choke or anything or end up falling off the bed. his brother inlaw got there around 6am & I went home & slept because every sound louie made my eyes were wide open & he was up most the night. so I got to recover, I finally did laundry & cleaned my room, moved stuff around, I visited my grandpas grave for fathers day since Idk my dad, & I got louie a card & a little frame with a poem of faith on it, had lunch with my family & went back to d hospital. louies dad was there he let me know he that tomorrow monday morning they are going to put a feeding tube through louies stomach, he should be in surgery by 11am. im not sure what d recovery process is for somethin like that but im going to be asking d doctor questions about that in d morning. today louie is doing so much better hes much calmer, hes not yelling or moving like crazy. his mom & sister told me he did thumbs up! so thats great news, hes not speaking yet, or responding to everything, he does notice people & things. & he blinks when u put your hand in front of his eyes. hes also doing this thing where he puts his hands up to his forehead and up his head, so hes doing little things like that to show that hes slowly becoming himself again. after his surgery tomorrow were going to find a rehab place for him to go to. hes such a strong little man, after all hes been through he is still fighting & proving the doctors wrong. I know it will be a long hard road to recovery but he has a lot of people praying for him & family & I who will be here for him through all of this. I just hope that everyone stays as supportive as they been because ive already notice family drifting away not even going to see him anymore, he needs us all to come together & keep faith strong for his recovery. his mom was supposed to stay with him last night & she endes up just leaving & going to eat around 5 & not coming back, even after she said she was staying with him. tonight she did come back so hopefully she wil stay d night & take care of him, hes like a baby right now, he needs to be shown how to do everything over again.
omg another thing! so through facebook everyone knows hes in d hospital in criticle condition & someone broke into his apartment, we had a feeling it would happen so the next day after his heart attack we packed up his most valuable things & parked his car at a family members house, so whoever robbed him just took his jerseys & his sisters(from new mexico) lugage. it just makes me so angry that someone would do that especially while hes in d hospital! its like wow really. uuggh people r just so greedy & heartless its unbelivable. well thats pretty much it hopefully tomorrow goes well with surgery & we see some new improvments & old behaviors to show hes coming back to us.
goodnight everyone I wil have more updates in a couple days or if I need to vent. thanks a million times more for d support prayers & advise.