Just how immature is it to throw things in peoples faces...long

I know its usually wrong to do this but hear me out.....
My BF and I have had to come a long way (as far as putting aside all of those little games couples tend to play) since I've been preggo. Being a female, my journey has come a bit qiucker than his if you know what I mean. We both tend to go to my Mom for advice when we disagree. She's great. She honest, blunt, and doesn't take sides. I'm her daughter and if I'm wrong she's all over me just as she is him.

That being said, I tend to throw thing in my bf's face. For example, he's notorious for being late. I've had instances where I've been left waiting in the cold or heat for an hour or more just becaude he didn't leave the house early enough to get me. He almost missed our gender u/s because of this so he's been trying to make an effort. I'm coming in from out of town and my bus was late so now he has to wait over an hour for me. He sounded annoyed about it. Instead of me saying thanks for getting there early to get me, I said well now you know how it feels to have to wait.

Another example is him ignoring my calls. If my bfs mad or annoyed with me he won't answer my calls. If he's at work he'll call back hours later. The other night he was ignoring my calls and just so happened I had gotten into a car accident and was in l&d. He felt so bad he's been making an effort to answer all my calls or call me back in a timely manner. Today I called him. He called me back twice but I was working and missed his calls. When I did talk to him he was annoyed that I didn't answer the phone. My response was, well now you know how it feels to think you're being ignored.

When I told my Mom about this she said that I was being immature, self righteous, and I need to acknowledge his effort and leave it at that. I don't think its anything wrong with showing him how it feels when the tables are turned. Its not like I'm being spiteful on purpose.

This is both of our most serious relationship and now we're adding a baby to the mix. I'm trying not to keep slipping into that single and dating mentality. This settled down, grown folk stuff ain't easy.

Comments

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  • I agree with your mom and @mshahir also bc by throwing it back in his face won't make him change what he is doing just acknowledge what he is trying to do and trust me there will be way less disagreements arguments and what nots!
  • Yeah. They say pick your battles. I tend to want to fight everything out especially when I'm right. I guess maybe it is a maturity thing. I'm learning. Its not easy having your flaws pointed out but if y'all agree with my Mom then clearly its not just her.
  • Hehe! U and I are a lot alike! I do the same thing but someone needs to end the madness! Sit down and talk about it. Have a nice dinner just the two of u and tell him its frustrating and try to come up with an agreement.
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  • Girl that sound like me and my bf I always get mad at him for not picking me up on time when I told him what time to be there!!!!
  • if. you ladies have an extra twenty sitting around you should purchase Steve Harvey's "Act like a lady, think like a man" oh my this book as taught me so much and has pointed out so many of my flaws!!! it will really help
  • @mommie_mcatee Oooh I was reading an interview in Essences magazine that they did with him. He was talking about the book. It really did sound interesting. Imma try to pick it up.
  • @newmomma13 I had to start telling him to be places 30mins before he actually needs to be just to makes sure he's on time. That's part of the reason he had to wait so long. I had already told him the bus was arriving 20mins before it really was, then the bus was late arriving, and he was actually on time for once. Oops. Lol.
  • @mommys1stbundle ... You said a mouthful by saying 'pick and choose your battles' ... you have to ask yourself.. is this issue worth having an issue out of.

    Two wrongs do not make a right... Now, that being said. It sounds like you might need to sit boo down and have a real heart to heart / reality check that there is about to be a baby in the picture and tell him that he needs to start being a little more responsible and attentive.
  • @gatorbob That is some seriously mature thinking. It absolutely makes since to put myself in his shoes. After all, usually when your arguing with someone its cause you want them to understand your point of view. If we both did that off the top it might avoid some arguing. Its just In the heat of the moment I don't know if I could think think that complexly. I'm like @mshahir I get word vomit (lol love that word) when I'm annoyed.
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  • @mikeandronadopt I think you said a mouthfull when you said "two wrongs don't make a right". I have issues knowing when I'm wrong. That's a flaw I can admit to. That's why I tend to ask outside opinions. I didn't consider throwing these things in his face wrong until my Mom pointed it out. Then I still had to come here and ask you guys.

    Now that I think about it, I suppose that would be considered being self righteous. That's the one thing I adimately denied being. Uggh, I hate when my Moms right.
  • @mommys1stbundle .. We ALL hate when our other's are right. lol

    We are ALL works in progress hun. We all have things we can improve upon.
  • You catch more bees with honey than vinegar. If you want him to keep doing the right things you are probably going to have to suck it up and praise, praise, praise. You may not get to say what you want but you will get more of the actions that you want.
  • This is a really good post. :) Not too many women are willing to realize their mistakes and change them. I respect you tons for that!
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