i need some advice on what to do...

btrflyqt85

So heres my situation... at my bf job theres this girl who recently exchanged numbers with him, hes a flirt and i told him i dont like it. not too long ago had a discussion on how i thought it was wrong and i didnt like him doing that. a couple months or so has gone by and i havent had my cell phone on since i cant pay the bill but he does, and since im a snoop and when my gut tells me something is up i become my own private detective. so i come to find out that the last txting between them happened on the 1st from 12pm-2pm...right at the time i went to pick him up from work at 12. so he was with me to top it off. now it wouldnt aggrevate me so much but the fact that he deletes all and every message before he gets in the house only tells me hes hiding something or just doesnt want me to know hes talking to her. So for 3 days now ive been pondering how to approach this and i really want to ask him to stop talking to her. i feel like im gonna go into teenage psycho mode and confront this girl. doesnt help that they practically have the same schedule at work, and i hate it when i see her car parked there. so how should i approach this without coming on like a jealous crazed gf?

MikeandRonAdopt

I think this is one of those times where you just need to sit him down and be direct... You will have a baby soon and there is no time for him to be playing games. He needs to be committed to your family or if he can't do that, you need to know... sooner rather than later. Good luck!

lilpeapod913

Umm its completely inappropriate! But, I don't agree w snooping nor do I agree w keeping secrets from your SO.. I know sometimes snooping may feel like a necessity but it becomes a tool to validate your insecurities and you will look til u find something and that's not fun, all that anxiety and you have to figure out a way to talk about it to him without admitting to your snooping. I would say he's interested in her and he will do that whether or not he deletes the texts.. im sorry to be blunt. You might as well just come clean with what you did because your relationship has issues that need to be worked on.. you're insecure about some things w his flirtatious ways (rightfully so!) causing you to snoop and he is obviously being a douchebag by flirting and talking to this girl after you have told him it bothers you! Communication is the key!

btrflyqt85

I agree @MikeandRonAdopt and thats what i would ideally like to do. i just hate to get to that point and have him switch it on me and say that they dont talk about anything, or y am i "spying" on him. like he´ll make me feel like an idiot and i hate looking like one. being pregnant doesnt help since holding back my tears wont come easy and it kills me.

jenzoe1

Not to he a Debbie downer, but where there is smoke, there is fire... I would not approve of my husband texting another girl, nor would he approve of me texting a guy. Good luck...

btrflyqt85

@lilpeapod913 i know and i hate doing it but knowing that its happening makes me in a way feel better to b a snoop than being the blind one. i know it wrong, but as u said, if he didnt do what he did then i would have no reason to do it. i just dont know how to start the conversation. its hard to confront him about it, either me or him being in the wrong because i love him so much and the fact that hes the one that really wanted to have a baby and he finds that his flirtatious ways dont have to stop just because hes with someone. all hes gonna say is, i dont see the big deal but watever. and the conversation will end up going into an argument or him walking away which i dont want at all.

MikeandRonAdopt

If Ron looked through my phone, it wouldn't bother me bc there isn't anything shady for him to find.

[Deleted User]

Bite her

btrflyqt85

@MikeandRonAdopt lol this was the first time ive actually snooped..had no reason to before this. i just want honesty.

@babynumbersix i had a dream i poored eggs on her car and filled her car handles with peanut butter lol. i would never do it but it felt good in my dream.

[Deleted User]

Doooo ittt, then bite her

btrflyqt85

@babynumbersix noooo i have a clean record! lol...id probably wait for her to talk or leave a note on her car lol but after i spoke to my bf first...im not one for fights or vandalism although it would probably help me lol

caroline8_p

I went through the same thing last year. He was cheating, full on cheating for probably 2 months. I always had suspension, but no hard proof. I made him tell me once we moved back to my moms house, cause my mind wouldn't leave it alone. Women's intuition is usually right. If I had found out then, I most likely would have dumped him.

[Deleted User]

Sissy la la....

lilpeapod913

And by the way, ALL men turn things around on us to make us feel bad And apologize. Mine just brought up something tonight that I was upset about over a week ago (him planning an entire week off jam packed and leaving an hour or two for me!) And he basically said that even tho he did a lot, we still had a lot of time together and it was all part of his plan and that I just need to have more faith in him and not get all worked up..blah blah blah lol. I love him, he's a guy and will always have guy tendencies I guess! But I will say he has been extra good about thinking of my feelings lately im sorry your man is doing those things and I hate to say it, but @caroline8_p might be onto something..I've seen it happen, unfortunately a little too close to home..