im tearing us apart! :( long

lilpeapod913

I often feel like my bf would rather be out w his buddies playing golf or fishing than home playing house w me. The problem is, I bring it up at the worst times. Fri we went to a wedding for his friend (mined you he refuses to go to weddings w me cuz "weddings suck") then saturday he slept til 2, I worked then we ran errands and went to his friends bday party. Sat night he didn't sleep, left to go up north at 345am came home at 2 and slept til 915pm. During that time I made dinner And all sorts of food for him for the week. Then at 930 he left for work. Came home, woke me up to put an icyhot on his back and went to bed. I left for work. He had plans to go bday shopping for his daughter with his sister (which I thought we could all do together, but they haven't done brother/sister stuff in God knows how long so me tagging along was out of the question). So I made plans to get a massage last night. While im on my way there he texts asking if I care if he goes golfing tonight. So in my head that's Sunday, Monday, And Tuesday of having very little communication cuz we didn't hardly talk at all during Sunday and Monday and I probably would talk to him today because he would be sleeping then golfing. So I got upset. I came home 10 min before he had to leave for work and he made me tell him what was wrong even tho I kept saying I didn't want to talk about it right then and after I told him, he stormed off.. then we texted til 1am about how He feels he is doing all he can And Its not enough and then towards the end he just disregarded what I was saying and just kept saying "luv u too" in other words "shut up, im done w this conversation" but I'm going on 4-5 hours of restless sleep and now he's home sleeping.. have me an aggravated kiss and went to bed. I originally told him I feel lonely a lot..he equated that to he's not around enough but what it is is that I feel like he is always making plans w other ppl and never w me. We are always doing what he wants to do and never what I want. I have no friends around here. The only argument we ever get into is how much time we spend together abdominal He claimed last night he spends more time w me than he has w any girl prior. What do I do? Just start accepting this? He kept saying "we spent the entire weekend together!" But What I'm seeing is we spent parts of fri And Saturday together And then nothing til Wed or Thursday. We r going out of town w his family this weekend but even there we don't do a whole lot together. Im just really really bored. We used to run And workout together and that's all gone right now And he doesn't seem to understand why I'm upset!

mom60511

I say it sounds like you bend over backwards for him and he should start appreciating it instead of taking you for granted.

PumpkinCupcake0307

I agree with @mom60511 sometimes I think men should open there eyes a little more and see whats in front of them.im sorry tho

lae3

Sounds like how my man was for like 4 years .. Selfish! I would always have the same argument w him.. I left him and went home for three months.. He didnt change either.. We got back together and it was less but drinlkin w buddys was a top priority.. So I left again .. Told him he needs to stop drinkin needles to say he finaly did.. And finaly grew up.. How old is he? Ud say next time u argue.. Tell him ur not tryin to keep him from his freinds but that u should be more important! At least he can pick a couple days a wk.. Two is good! That he can plan on doing man time.. I really dont think that would be too much.. Cause if he dousnt, I can tell u from exp.. Its gonna get old fast.. Espesialy after the bby comes.. Resentment builds when u feel like ur doing all the work.. Good luck.. And hes the one thats terin u guys apart cause he has his head stuck up his freinds asses

Mylittleman2011

Try giving him a taste of his own medicine. When he wants to go run around be all happy he is leaving try not to be home all the time. I guess what I am saying is show him you got your own life and see how he feels. He expects you to cook and give him shit for leaving. Stop doing all that not the cooking in general but being there everytime he leaves and comes home. I'm not saying be malicious just show him you don't need him for a life you want him in your life but you don't need him. Hope I made sense. Good Luck

lilpeapod913

@lae3 its mainly he has his head stuck in his hobbies.. fishing and hunting. He planned a TWO week vacation from work 6 weeks after my due day, meaning my first week back to work. I told him the first week was ok and I'd like to play the 2nd week by ear and he let it slip that he made plans w a buddy for the 2nd week. Im still really upset by that. Idk what to do. I ended up apologizing for being so emotional and not taking a second to see all that he had done around the house, but I mainly just feel like an ass and that this wont get resolved thanks for your support girls! He makes me feel like im crazy cuz I look too much into the future. He "cancelled" his golf plans (which I don't believe he ever officially made, just saying that to make me feel bad) and I guess we r going shopping tonight for his daughters bday.. I just wanna crawl in a hole. I haven't felt like this in a while but I feel like the things he was saying last night about not being enough for me and he can't make me happy are going to stick w me. It upsets me that we aren't married or engaged and when he says things like that I wonder if he would ever ask me.. he's been there before and it ended badly. I know its just one fight, but its the one fight we have over and over again. I tried saying that maybe if one tgubg were changed, like him asking if I want help cooking or "what do you wanna do tonight?" Instead of always "care if I do ____ tonight?" That would help me feel better and him not feel like he's not doing enough for me. Im really at a loss and im feeling pretty down about it. @maymommy11 @mom60511
As for giving him a taste of his own medicine, I did that last night and he threw it in my face like "I was the one here without you tonight and I wasn't giving you shit about it!" Woah one night, big deal..And he had plans And I didn't know when he'd be home, nor did I ask. Ughhh please tell me we will get over this hurdle, I feel like we are so loving towards each other but just him saying those things about feeling like he's not enough for me just has me stuck and feeling like an ass. @mylittleman2011

lae3

its hard to say... my man had hobbies too.. and they all involved hanging out with friends.. and being away from me and responsibilities.. he wont change if you dont be asurtive about your needs .. and when your home with a newborn.. especially if this is your first child.. your not going to want him to be gone for an extended period of time.. i know from experience.. your just going to let the anger build and then look like the lunitick controlling wife.. wich your not .. you sound very reasonable to me.. and it also sounds like he knows real well how to put the guilt trip on you.. so .. either he wants to prioritise and put family first or he doesnt.. im all for couples spending.. guy and girl time apart.. i think its healthy.. but if the relationship isnt first.. than.. all the other stuff doesnt matter.. good luck..

jellybeaning11

My partner is the same. We aren't together anymore though. He was just so selfish and i resented him and he never saw what the problem was. We were constantly arguing and around our 3year old which really wasnt healthy. Anyways i ended up being very depressed and 2 weeks ago i had a mental breakdown. That was breaking point for me. Now I'm moving back home. He really regrets everything but i know it will just go back to how it was. I won't be going back until he proves to have growen up and realise he got responsibilities.
i would sit down and have a serious talk with him and try go on dates once a week to rekindle that flame. Hope things work out.

bigtalkingtori

Bahhh I feel like I wrote this about me and my fiancee! Lol. Still trying to get things to improve. He even went to a party his friend was throwing at a hotel, and I said I wanted to go. What the heck would i do at a hotel party?? Lol. I guess sometimes they just need their own time. Something what seems to be helping is trying to get to his level. We don't always understand each other, but sometimes that helps with figuring it out. Just stay positive, DON'T play games, and keep a level head. Must drive you crazy, but there are things that can improve the situation. Time and patience included!

mandac10

I say make ur own plans n do ur own thing! Heck u need to follow my own advice I swear I spend to much time with mu husband! Lol!