my baby shower was today.
And it really stressed and depressed me even more than I am already. None of my dads side family showed up. Only two on my moms side showed up. Everyone else was my boyfriends family. And he was so rude to me today I wanted to not be here. I was so busy opening gifts while they made burgers I didn't get to eat... food came in and went right by me and I said I was hungry, I didn't eat all day just to have a burger, and my boyfriend goes to make himself a burger. The few here for me noticed and thought it was rude and asked if he was doing that in delivery. Then I get a break and make myself a Burger and more of his family shows up with gifts and he gives me attitude and tells me to sit down and open it and when I say I'm hungry, he rolls his eyes and says I'm rude. Then he leaves me and talks on the phone, talks with his work friends that came, and I didn't know some of his family's names and my mom makes me introduce everyone and I look stupid introducing people because he's so self-involved.
Then he doesn't thank a single person for the gifts, and wants to take back the crib my parents got me to get one he "wants" ...didn't thank my grandma for a baby quilt she handmade but did thank his cousin for getting us a store-bought blanket.
I feel like he doesn't care about me at all. I seriously want to cry I'm on the verge of tears. Little things like not getting me something to drink but getting his friends drinks...I just felt so pushed aside. I know it gets no better after the baby is here. He thinks its just all about him his baby his family what he wants. What about me. I'm carrying this baby I'll be the one taking care of it. He nevercares about how I'm feeling
sorry I just needed a rant to get it all out
Then he doesn't thank a single person for the gifts, and wants to take back the crib my parents got me to get one he "wants" ...didn't thank my grandma for a baby quilt she handmade but did thank his cousin for getting us a store-bought blanket.
I feel like he doesn't care about me at all. I seriously want to cry I'm on the verge of tears. Little things like not getting me something to drink but getting his friends drinks...I just felt so pushed aside. I know it gets no better after the baby is here. He thinks its just all about him his baby his family what he wants. What about me. I'm carrying this baby I'll be the one taking care of it. He nevercares about how I'm feeling
sorry I just needed a rant to get it all out
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I'm sorry I just have no one to talk to and need a vent /rant.
I told him he thinks I talk down to him so much because he doesn't build himself up to be who he should. I just feel like this baby vessel, here to do the work to give him his own little plaything. I get no respect from his as being the mother of his unborn child. The simplest things that he could do but refuses—reading the baby books, opening a door for me when I have arms full of stuff, not buying my favorite beer and drinking it in front of me only 6 weeks before my due date, offering a break in walking or giving me some kind of massage instead of saying, "wow your feet are so swollen, that looks painful" ... making sure I get something to eat before he does, filling out paperwork on his own instead of wanting me to do it, waking up on his own to go to an appointment, remembering appointments, not arguing with me about needing a new bra because none of mine fit, helping me rearrange my room for the baby...
I feel they are basic things that men do for their significant others... he just says I'm a bitch that asks for too much and that he treats me well...just because his grandmother inherited him a house, bought all the nicest things for us...sometimes its not money that buys happiness. I want someone who treats me with respect, who treats me with basic chivalry and courtesy, not someone who thinks they can buy me and treat me like shit. I've been up crying for hours and all he can say is leave him alone, don't talk to him until I stop my bitching and to get over myself.
And I don't think he realizes that I have full control over who is in the delivery room. At this point I have no fear in telling him to gtfo. At least my parents will make up for his disrespect by supporting me in delivery.
You ask if he's always like that....it was bad in the beginning (before baby) then I opened his eyes a little bit, but as soon as he starts getting comfortable in the relationship again he gets super selfish and I lose respect for him. When I lose respect for him I don't treat him respectfully and instead of getting the hint and changing his ways, he turns it on me. I admit I don't treat him how I should because he does not treat me how he should.
I get treated better by my best friend, parents, people at work, etc....I don't expect them to treat me like that because they didn't make this baby. My parents do late night snack runs but he won't stop by a store on the way home to get me a hostess cupcake, even when I ask.
I seriously feel like I am just here to give him a baby. He gets so involved in things for the baby, but doesn't care or take the time to consider what I'm going through.
I asked him today how he is going to treat me in delivery or after, if he was going to treat me how he does now, because I'll just have my parents in there instead. He looked at me funny and said of course not, there was a lot of hesitation and awkwardness so I think he might have had a little dim light go on. I told him he has no idea what its going to be like...and that he does realize I'll need days and weeks of recovery. He just paused in deep thought. So we'll see...he still hasn't read any of the books nor does he have any idea what's going on right now.
as far as the baby books i know that it hurts your feelings when he isnt taking the time to actually see what you and baby are both going thru right now and even tho it would help him feel more attached to the pregnancy and the baby and YOU, he sounds like he is doing it just in spite of you! which is wrong! men are idiots! my man wont read a damn book to save his life so i read it to him!
so is he living with you at your parents house? i would kick his ass out to make a point that youre done with his shit. sometimes guys need a swift kick in the rear!