My body is pretty much poisoning my baby & there's NOTHING i can do about it :( *UPDATE in post
I have Cholestasis (my liver produces too much bile acids- which break down fats- causing me to itch A LOT) To me, it's harmless. Yeah, I itch, but it's nothing major. But, it's basically poisoning my baby girl. At 35 weeks (I'm 37+1) the chances for having a stillborn are double what they would normally be because of the Cholestasis. So, I sit back and scratch while not knowing if I'll ever be able to watch her breate while she's asleep, see her tiny hand wrapped around my finger, or hear her cry. My body is posioning my baby, AND I CAN'T DO ANYTHING! 
I'm an emotional, nervous wreck! I'm supposed to protect her, but I'm damn near killing her! How the hell am I supposed to go on with this until my doctor's appointment Friday? How am I supposed to go on ONE more day knowing about this?!? I don't know what to do with myself. I'm so scared for my baby! I just want to know she's safe!
*Update*
Yesterday was HORRIBLE, to say the least. I had to go do bloodwork @ 8 AM, which means I would have to leave the house about 7. But, I was still awake at 6 because I was super itchy & on edge, so I was running off of NO sleep. We left, did the blood work, and came home. At that point, I was EXHAUSTED, so my plan was to take a Zyrtec to knock my ass out, but I was SO itchy that I couldn't stop scratching long enough to fall asleep, even after taking Zyrtec. So, my fianceé runs me a cold bath.. no help. I was seriously freaking out because I was so itchy at that point, I could've taken a cheese grater(sp) to my skin. I was exhausted, itchy, crying, just straight up miserable. My fianceé tried to call my doctor's office, because I was so worked up I couldn't complete a sentence. He told the nurse at the front desk that it was urgent & he needed to speak with the doctor immediately. So, they send him to a voicemail.. three different times. He got pissed & told me we were going to L&D. We told them I hadn't felt the baby move & how itchy I was (I didn't even have to tell them, they obviously saw me ripping my skin off). I tried my hardest, pulled myself together, & explained I have Chloestasis. Here's where it gets ugly.. One dumbass nurse is going to tell me my gallbadder wouldn't cause me to itch.. 8-| I explained what Chloestasis of Pregnancy is, and exactly what happens. She's convinced I'm an idiot, but I really didn't give a flip because she was only triage & most (not all, but most) triage nurses are asses. So, I get upstairs & explain again what's going on. The L&D nurse tells me, itching is normal (she's saying this as my fianceé is wiping blood off my legs & feet), it's harmless to baby, just aggravating. I'd had ENOUGH at that point. I said "If it's so f*cking "harmless" why the f*ck is there so many infant deaths because of it? Just because YOU have some kind of nursing degree doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about." I pulled all kinda info up on my phone & showed it to her. She didn't say sh*t. Put me on the monitor for 30 minutes & sent me home.. still itching. When we got back to the house, my doctor returned my call & I explain AGAIN what was going on. He said we really can't so anything until my blood work comes back (which will be today), told me to try a couple of things, & call back if they didn't put me to sleep. Thankfully, I got to the point of exhaustion where I was going to sleep if it liked it or not. :-< Yesterday was HORRIBLE! So, today I'm anxiously awaiting my test results, which will be in about 2 PM CST.
I'm an emotional, nervous wreck! I'm supposed to protect her, but I'm damn near killing her! How the hell am I supposed to go on with this until my doctor's appointment Friday? How am I supposed to go on ONE more day knowing about this?!? I don't know what to do with myself. I'm so scared for my baby! I just want to know she's safe!*Update*
Yesterday was HORRIBLE, to say the least. I had to go do bloodwork @ 8 AM, which means I would have to leave the house about 7. But, I was still awake at 6 because I was super itchy & on edge, so I was running off of NO sleep. We left, did the blood work, and came home. At that point, I was EXHAUSTED, so my plan was to take a Zyrtec to knock my ass out, but I was SO itchy that I couldn't stop scratching long enough to fall asleep, even after taking Zyrtec. So, my fianceé runs me a cold bath.. no help. I was seriously freaking out because I was so itchy at that point, I could've taken a cheese grater(sp) to my skin. I was exhausted, itchy, crying, just straight up miserable. My fianceé tried to call my doctor's office, because I was so worked up I couldn't complete a sentence. He told the nurse at the front desk that it was urgent & he needed to speak with the doctor immediately. So, they send him to a voicemail.. three different times. He got pissed & told me we were going to L&D. We told them I hadn't felt the baby move & how itchy I was (I didn't even have to tell them, they obviously saw me ripping my skin off). I tried my hardest, pulled myself together, & explained I have Chloestasis. Here's where it gets ugly.. One dumbass nurse is going to tell me my gallbadder wouldn't cause me to itch.. 8-| I explained what Chloestasis of Pregnancy is, and exactly what happens. She's convinced I'm an idiot, but I really didn't give a flip because she was only triage & most (not all, but most) triage nurses are asses. So, I get upstairs & explain again what's going on. The L&D nurse tells me, itching is normal (she's saying this as my fianceé is wiping blood off my legs & feet), it's harmless to baby, just aggravating. I'd had ENOUGH at that point. I said "If it's so f*cking "harmless" why the f*ck is there so many infant deaths because of it? Just because YOU have some kind of nursing degree doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about." I pulled all kinda info up on my phone & showed it to her. She didn't say sh*t. Put me on the monitor for 30 minutes & sent me home.. still itching. When we got back to the house, my doctor returned my call & I explain AGAIN what was going on. He said we really can't so anything until my blood work comes back (which will be today), told me to try a couple of things, & call back if they didn't put me to sleep. Thankfully, I got to the point of exhaustion where I was going to sleep if it liked it or not. :-< Yesterday was HORRIBLE! So, today I'm anxiously awaiting my test results, which will be in about 2 PM CST.
Comments
Is it possible that they induce you early?
@mommy_2
@1stwoodsbaby
@fashion_junky91
for me im all itchy evrywhere but its like n extreme itch u cnt handle I also get pains sometimes in my stomach
@xsuzy21x I'm 37 weeks, which is medically considered full term, and she's measuring 2+ weeks ahead. She's definately able to survive outside of the womb with no problems. The thing is waiting to see what the doctor's gonna do. I have to go in at 8 AM tomorrow to do some more blood work, and if possible, I'm going to try to have a quick chat with him about induction. If not, it'll have to be discussed on Friday.
@MrsG
@mommaof22b
@paliguz