@mrs_shu I kno. I guess I make excuses for him cuz I'm still n love wit him an I still hope he'll wanna b wit me. But he's chosen to b wit his first bm an have a family wit her. I'm sure he also takes care of her daughter that's not even his. That hurts alot too. He says he wasn't ready to have another kid an I knew from the beginnin. He's angry st me an blames me that he "can't" b the same dad to my baby.
My daughters "sperm donor" was in and out of her life, but I put a stop to that ASAP. I gave him the benefit of the doubt, either you be there 110% or not at all. He thought I was playing and would be around for a couple of days, go weeks without calling or seeing her, then try to come back around. Well I put an end to all that because I'm not trying to have him play with her emotions the way he has played with mine. She is 15 weeks and I feel with the way he was during my pregnancy (non existent) and the first two months of her life, he isn't going to change so PTFO. She don't need him, nor does she need me all riled up when he tries to come around and be a "dad". His mom is around though. I won't shun her family because of his shitty choices. Some children are just better off with one parent.
@BKE913 ur rite. My sperm donor does the same thing playin wit my emotions an it dont help that I still have feelings for him. I think imma have to do wat u doin. I refuse to let him hurt my baby like he hurt me.
My mom and my dad broke up when I was about one or two. As I grew up I asked about him,wondered about him but when I met him he was ok. He wasn't the person I got all hyped up about. I didn't want him in my life.
Well from my experience I would not say anything. U still have some time so who knows. The moment my first son's dad found out I was prego he boned out. I was heartbroken cuz he was the love of my life. He saw him once when he was 5 and I cut all ties cuz he was just being a half ass dad which was hurting my son even more. He is 7 now and I've been with my hubby since he was 3. He calls him dad and they r very close. Trust me there is a REAL MAN out there that will love u and ur child and b proud to be his daddy. Stay strong and take it day by day. Remember everything happens for a reason
My sperm donor hasn't ever been involved in ANYTHING and my fiance came into mY life when my son was 1 so he's pretty much all he knows and he calls him daddy! We plan to have a talk with him just so he knows the truth and doesn't hate us someday for lying, I'm just not sure what to say so I've been putting that convo off for a while now...my son in now 6...
@nmartinez79 if u don't mind me asking how did u explain it to your son? Cuz my situation is very similar, I just don't know what to say to my son??
He's 7 now and doesn't really talk about him. I say there is no reason to ever bring it up unless the dad wants to man up and prove himself. I think it will do more harm than good telling him. If u meet someone else it could affect how your son bonds with him and can also cause some abandonment issues as well. It was hard for my oldest to get close with my hubby cuz he thought he would leave him like his donor did. Just wait til he's older and if he asks. U never know what will happen between now and then. Just try to surround him around good male role models like uncle's grandpa or close friends. If and when he does ask depending on where u r in your life tell him he lives very far and can't afford to come visit that way he wont think his father didn't love him
My husband found out the man he called dad wasn't his biological father when he was 10. When he turned 18, he contacted his father who basically told him that he's not his son and to never call him again. His stepfather raised him as his own and to this day, he still calls him dad. There are sperm donors and there are fathers.
My 17 yr old has never had anything to do wit her dad he raped me when I was 16 n she is the result! She has never even asked bout him! I been in a relationship wit my other 3 kids father since she was 8 months old so she only knows him but has never called him daddy! But im planning to leave current bf bcuz I no longer wnt to be in a relationship!
@VictoriaB how did ur son react? Was he hurt? @nmartinez79 I wish I knew the reason this was happenin it would make it so much easier. I dont kno wats gon happen cuz so far me n sperm donor r never able to stay away for long. But idk wat kinda dad he'll b to the baby. He's a good dad to his first son but is already actin different about mine. Will u ever tell ur son? An wat is a good age to do so?
He knows that my husband isn't his dad, its kinda hard not to tell since my son is half black and my hubby is a white washed mexican;) he started asking questions and I let meet his donor one time when he was 5. It was awkward cuz it hadn't seen him since the day I got prego and here we r for the first time with our child that we made together. I think ur in the clear til your son is 1 1/2 or so, maybe his dad will come around by then. If not u need to protect tour son:)
@JsMyOnlyLove I'm sorry I didn't get back ti you sooner... No she doesn't know him, he left the day I was pregnant. But I tell her about him when she asks. I still have pictures to show her to.
@chevygirl its ok. i told him today an emailed pics. he said he was beautiful. idk wats gon happen tho. ive done my part im not gon nag him about bein a dad no more. we'll c wat happens now.
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@nmartinez79 if u don't mind me asking how did u explain it to your son? Cuz my situation is very similar, I just don't know what to say to my son??
@nmartinez79 I wish I knew the reason this was happenin it would make it so much easier. I dont kno wats gon happen cuz so far me n sperm donor r never able to stay away for long. But idk wat kinda dad he'll b to the baby. He's a good dad to his first son but is already actin different about mine. Will u ever tell ur son? An wat is a good age to do so?