Spilled Milk (language warning)

Mythica

It's not fair! I've been having trouble collecting breastmilk... earlier tonight, I only got 5 ml.... and just now, I pumped 15!! It was something worthwhile and worth keeping! It made me very happy that I got it... but when I went to transfer it to a glass holding container (so I can pump again and use my little container that attaches to the pump), it slipped out of my fingers and spilled all over the counter! Because my stupid brother can't clean up crumbs after himself, there was no salvaging it. Dx And his stupid ass was standing there laughing at me, telling me it was no big deal.... meanwhile I'm bawling my eyes out because I worked SO hard to get that little tiny bit... and he's LAUGHING AT ME! So I told him to shut up and stop laughing at me before I punch him because it IS a big deal. That wiped the stupid grin off his face... but then he reverted to ASSHOLE and told me "Don't even start that bullshit. You're acting f*cking ridiculous." I AM NOT! It really is a big deal! Sure, he just turned 18 and doesn't understand the importance of breastmilk... especially for a NICU/special needs baby... But hell! I'm CRYING! Why can't he at least be sympathetic and stop freaking laughing at me?!! Now I'm totally discouraged for pumping. My nipples hurt, and my breasts never feel like they have anything in them. I barely ever get anything, and the ONE time that I do, I lose it to the countertop. I wish I could rewind time and tell myself to just leave it in the container and feed it to her first (she's got a 2.5 oz bottle of formula in there she needs to drink that I was going to feed her til I could get a substantial amount of breastmilk for her so I didn't have to do a half/half feeding...).

Part of why I'm upset is because ever since Evelynn was born, he's been at least civil. And now I'm sure he's going to be a total asshole again just because I snapped at him for laughing at me while I was totally upset. Granted, I shouldn't have told him I was going to punch him, but damn... what the hell else was I going to say to get him to stop laughing?? He was only making it worse!

Bahamamama4828

Aww I'm sorry! I have been there with my preemie, spilling the last bit I had left. It's tough I know but hang in there. You're trying your best

2girls_2boys

Omg I'm.so sorry I know its hard

Jess_Jude

Go to an organic store like whole foods and look for:
1. Fenugreek
2. Mothers milk tea
3. More milk plus
4. Lactation blend
My lactation specialist said all these should help produce milk. Also drink plenty of water. Pump every 2-3 hrs! That is vital u keep a schedule and pump for atleast 15 min. Pump every 4 hrs at night when u r sleeping tho so u do get a stretch of sleep. If none of those help speak to a lactation specialist they can give u pills but idk about those because they told me they have side effects.

Jess_Jude

I'm sorry tho. Jude did that to me and thought it was funny to till he saw it made me cry! Its hard losing milk when u don't produce a lot of it and u want to help ur child as much as possible! It hurts because u can't take care of them as much as u want with especially with them in the NICU!

Bahamamama4828

Have u ever thought about donor milk? Some people don't like the idea and I had to have the hospital order my son some the first couple days of his life (hospitals pastuerize it)

Mythica

@Jess_Jude Sorry for the confusion... she's not in the NICU anymore... she was for the first few days (she's only 1 week 2 days old) and she didn't get but maybe 20 ml of colostrum from me (through hand expression and a little bit of nursing), and no breastmilk at all. Now I'm trying my best to pump, but schedules are hard to keep. Especially when my nipples are so sensitive!

@Bahamamama4828 No, I haven't thought about donor milk... I thought about donating before, when I was still pregnant... but obviously that's not going to happen. And I can't afford much of anything, atm.

He just doesn't understand. I feel like I should go in there and tell him that I'm sorry I said I'd punch him, but at the same time I feel like he should apologize, too. And he probably won't.He said that she can just drink formula, and that I can just make more tomorrow. But it's not that simple! I tried to tell him that, but he wasn't listening anymore.

Bahamamama4828

Check out milk share on Facebook, a lot of moms do free