he just flipped on me

MAmajolene

I'm 37 weeks and my bf and I weren't doing good for the longest time but we just started doing really good and he moved in with me about a month and a half ago. For some reason it seems like he doesn't like talking about the baby a lot idk why.. but a soon as we found out or was a girl we agreed on a name but when we talked about middle name we were never sure. And I have brought up to him that I want her to have my last name because I also have a son from a previous relationship anf I gave him his fathers last name and his father chose drugs and to move away from us but still brought us to court to try and see him even though he knows he could never care for him. So it has been 3 years since my sons father saw him and I just recently got his last named changed through the court and had to go through so much just to do it.. the only reason why they granted to me was because his father never showed up to fight it. So my bf now just asked what our daughters name is Gunna b and I said well shes having my last name. And he freaked on me. I said I told u this a while back and he said I thought u were only kidding. Like why would I very kidding about that? He was like y cause you think I'm Gunna be a Scumbag bag like ur sons father and I said I'm not saying u are but we weren't doing to good and who knows what's Gunna happen in the future I just don't want to deal with the same shit again. I said if we get married it can always me changed..sorry this is so long I just don't know what to do:(

usafwife_21

I cant blame you at all for choosing to give your child your last name. However, I can see where he would definitely be offended by it. Just try and explain on a deeper level how you felt about what happened with your other child.. This can be complicated. The same thing happened to my sister. I would stick to your decision. Like you said, if you get married, you can always change it Good luck hun!

MAmajolene

Thanks for ur support Hun!

Mimii36

I understand your side but I get his 2. I mean daddies want there children to carry their names. You cant base this man on the last one. You should give him a chance.

MAmajolene

Its hard because he just started to change he treated me like shit for a year and hid being on drugs for a year. And now that we have been good for 2-3 months I'm suppose to trust after this baby comes that hes not Gunna go back to his old ways.. and plus we are having a girl she can't carry on his name anyway she will eventually get married and have a different last name

Junebuggbabie85

I don't blame you. Until he consistently shows he can be a father then the baby doesn't have to have his name

Mimii36

@mamajolene but you trusted him enough to get back with him tho? Apparently you seen some kind of good in him. Idk..its just my opinion. At the end of the day hunnie you do what you think is best for your daughter. Good luck!!

Beardreams

My bf is the same way, unreliable and due to that simple fact the baby will have my name. Life doesn't give you lessons just for you to ignore it when a similar situation arises later. I think you're making a wise decision. Once bitten twice shy. Or there's the other saying. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me

dadof2n1togo

I definitely understand his position as a father sorry. Not sure about where you are but in australia unless the baby is given the fathers surname he would later have to adopt his own child.
My wife wanted to give our daughter her surname because we weren't married at that stage even though together for 7yrs lol. I have always stood by what I said to her then of that I would have left her as I would never adopt my own kids.

Something like this is always going to be touchy subject so I wish you luck and all the best with it

MAmajolene

Thanks everyone

NylasMommy

My sister gave her son her bd last name n she so regret it. During pregnancy hes so good to her so she gave my nephew is last name after baby was born he became an asshole. He left her n she wants to change his last name so badly. Im naming my daughters last name after my husband bc we r married but maybe u can have ur last then his. Ppl do that n if it doesnt work out just drop his last name

laura536

I think you are doing the right thing. It makes sense for her to have the same name as you and your other child. If he wants her to have his last name, then it can always be changed when you guys get married. Good luck!

MAmajolene

I really appreciate it everyone I hope I'm doing the right thing. Hes acting so childish and won't even talk to me about it. Like I understand where he is coming from 100% but this means alittle more to me then to him I mean he didn't even want this child in the first place.

embracekittie

Not taking sides but u can always do both last names with the hyphen in between them so then u won't deal with the hassle u did before and when ur daughter gets old enough can choose which last name she fully wants... its just a suggestion though best of luck in this situation...

Mimii36

Yep the above suggestion is good. Thats what my bestfriend did with her twins. They just have both names & hers is first.