Woah just noticed I accidently opened to threads! Stupid phone @adri805 yeah we've talked about it so many times I've tried to ask wha I could do to get him into it more...or if he would like me to wear or do something different. He always says no no its just me I'm so sorry ill change I promise and then we go on not having sex!
@adri805 Yeah I was sooo mad I just said welp hope ya like your hand cuz that's all you will ever get and then walked away! Not that I know of and if he does and he's hiding it oh man...ill be pissed. How in the heck do we go from a perfectly healthy sex life to uh nothing!!!
Dont know what to do about that but get a vibrator and when hes around, say in bed but not asleep, pleasure yourself. Tell him since he prefers his hand to pleasure himself you can pleasure yourself your way, and without his assistance. Or say since you wont help me find pleasure I'll find it myself.
Maybe go to couples counseling? Im 26 weeks pregnant and my husbands sex drive has increased and it makes me feel ugly, fat, and unattractive. I figured my husband would love the fact that I've been so horny and turned on from my hormones... Apparently not. I told him he could have his way with my body, oral anal or vaginal, and he said he wasnt in the mood.... :O :O :O We hadnt has sex in over a week.. and we used to go like 3 times a day.... MEN.
My husband wanted it all the time when I was pregnant. He loved my belly. But mayb he is weirded out by ur bump? Sme guys get creeped out that ur child is litterally right ther in between yaw while ur doin it
My hubby has slowed down a lot too.. We have talked about it and he says the belly makes it weird for him.. Some men just find it weird or scary to have sex with a pregnant woman for lots of reasons like hurting the baby, or you.. It goes on n on And maybe thats what hes going thru... Try to be considerate of his feelings as well and try to figure out the reason why hes doing this without freakin on him. Good luck hun.
Maybe its BC u have changes roles in his mind. ( which is not your fault its his issue and there is no reason you can't have 2 roles). But maybe You used to be his hot sexy girlfriend and then when u got pregnant You became the mother of his child .... my hubby who loves bjs has expressed that he isn't sure if he will want them anymore after baby girl gets here BC he doesn't want my lips to kiss her AND do that to him. Same thing goes for my breast and him doing anything orally to them. I used to love it but now all I can think about is " that's where Hailey is going to eat" . So we are working through the whole multiple roles issue too. Idk maybe that's What's going on w your husband ....?
my man said he was turned off for a few months after seeing me give birth.. it was traumatic for him i guess.. lol.. but now were back to normal.. so i dont know.. has he gained alot of weight.. is he active.. i know men that dont get alot of physical activity do have as much testosterone as others that do.. so.. whatever it is im sure its not you.. try not to take it personaly..
When I was pregnant we didn't have sex much because he was afraid he would poke the baby, and would not go down on me since about 16 weeks because some idiot made a comment "watch out or the baby will grab your younger!" So it "freaked him out" I would cry because it made me feel insecure but he wasn't taking care of himself as far as I know that would have pissed me off! We too were very sexually active before I got prego.. I'm a horn dog I want it ALL THE TIME
Are you 100% positive he's not cheating on you? Just a thought. Sorry to bring that up. I know when my ex did that he was telling me he was taking care of business and come to find out yeah he was with another woman. Most men are more attracted to pregnant women. Well the men i've been around and that have hit on my while I was pregnant.... that is messed up. Im sorry he's doing that. Maybe you should throw it back to him ok well if you are going to take care of your self ill take care of myself and wont worry about taking care of you. You deal with your self ill deal with myself.
The exact same thing happened to me this year.. turned out bd didn't think he was sexually attracted to me anymore and he cheated on me.. I guess after that he realized he's not really sexually attracted to anyone and he did want to be with me for the rest of his life.. I was so heartbroken when I found out but wanted to try and work things out, things are still hard but our sex life hasn't been this good in over a year, I just started being really kinky, I think some guys just need a little more to get turned on. I hope this isn't the case for you, but I just thought I would share
From another point of view though, my husband and I have been married for 3yrs and together for 8yrs and we had a very active sex life before pregnancy as well. When we got married I was 20 and he was 23. In the beginning of pregnancy we were still active alot but when I hit my second trimester is when sex slowed down alot I mean maybe once a month. We talked about it and my husband told me honestly he is still attracted to my personality but not to my body at this time, my taste orally had changed and so did the feel of sex along with the physical viewing aspect of my body. Its only for while i'm pregnant and healing anyways. He still loves me very much and but him pleasing himself isn't a crime ladies. From his point of view yeah we can jump start them but it is more of a hassle then anything and the majority of men do not get off by bj's alone. Don't rush to the idea that he is cheating just be fully open with him. It bugged me sometimes to know my hubby is getting pleasure from himself and not me but u have to realize to that alot of it is our hormones running wild. Yes we have desire and needs too being open with ur spouse is the only way to reach a solution though.
Sorry about the delay in answering I usually get on my cell and since so many people had answered back I couldn't tag you all on there! To answer a few questions I forgot to add I already had my son 5 months ago I've been on pregly for quite awhile I just thought by now he would be interested again. It's not like my body is gross now I only have 2lbs to lose until I'm back to my pp weight (which was110lbs). I know he hasn't cheated since I have all of his passwords and I'm always on his phone...he's always with us unless he is at school or work. He wouldn't do that anyways! No way! He is way too good of a man. He actually liked having sex with me when I was pregnant LOL idk he thought it felt better... that's why i'm confused....idk maybe its just an off time I know things have been hectic lately and maybe I just need to be more patient and understanding. We do have a baby and I have been sick so that could possibly be stressing him out. I just need to probably look at things from his point of view...I was just really angry the other night! LOL I'm sure you can all relate with that.
Also I have thought about getting a toy cuz I seem to just have more drive...maybe that's our problem. lol I just have no idea what to get...I know nothing about them!
yeah thats good .. you should go the toy route.. also try saduceing him with sexy gear and heals.. make sure hes not tired.. so he cant turn you down lol.. does he have some sort of fantisy.. you can fullfill..
@Babyluv OMG as i was reading ur post i was thinking to myself Damn this sounds just exactly like me and my hubby...everything is almost exactly the same till the part where i ream him out and grill him bout why we arent doing it then he just mumbles around till i get so pissed that i just tell him to forgett it...i wonder if thats whats going on?!?!?!?!
I have 2 kids and a 3rd due in 30days. The whole time during thtough first 2 pregnancies sex was maybe once every 2 weeks. This pregnancy sex is a no go since 5weeks and it sucks.
When our daughter was born I struggled for close to 6 months with the confusion of how I saw my wife sexually. I love my wife and have been together for 13yrs but struggled seeing her as a mother and a lover. There is no quick balance here and as a male I couldn't admit this to my wife or anyone. I did get my groove back but it did take a while.
Then came our son and it was just as bad. Only this time it felt like a resentment towards him as suddenly there was another man getting my wifes attention. This is stupid as he's my son but its a guys reaction sometimes.
Hopefully it will get better for you. It sounds to me like he just doesnt know how to approach this or handle it. Write him a letter that he can read on his own and ask him to write one back to you. I have done this with my wife as sometimes it is hard to see the hurt you cause them with what you feel. But on paper it doesnt always flow but is what you feel etc.
@dadof2n1togo WOW! so nice to see a guys input! how u felt with the birth of ur son makes so much sense! that might explain so much other stuff going on/not going on in my house! my husband never initiates holding the baby or giving either one of us any attention...he just looses himself in harbor freight and enco mags. or in buying crap for his shop online! thanks for the insight! really!
@vanalkr I found I was uncomfortable with my son when it came to holding him and changing him. But with my daughter it was a feeling of the need to protect her from everything. It is known to be due to the levels of testosterone in guys once a baby is born. I am worried about this time around with another boy but have been talking with my wife about it already and also have a trauma counselor at work I've approached before about it.
Yay @dadof2n1togo ! Thank you for the man point of view! I actually asked my hubby & he came out with the same thing. He said he knows after Noah is born he will have a hard time balancing me as his sexy wife AND being Joe & Noah's mom. He even said he's already jealous Noah has parts of me that are off limits right now (leaking boobs). But reading this started us talking it thru. I think its going to help in the long run.
@Pinkigirl@darknesofnight4u Glad that I can help you guys a bit. I know it can be frustrating and I'm sure I've made my wife pissed off many times. At the moment she is pissed at me and I got to test the couches comfort levels last night lol.
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So my hubby looks at thier sons head
'Do you see any holes or dents?'
'Nope'
'Then you're good, Im bigger than you anyways' (A running I'm bigger than you joke between them)
SORRY.. You all made me think of this conversation!! :-D
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Sorry about the delay in answering I usually get on my cell and since so many people had answered back I couldn't tag you all on there! To answer a few questions I forgot to add I already had my son 5 months ago I've been on pregly for quite awhile
I have 2 kids and a 3rd due in 30days. The whole time during thtough first 2 pregnancies sex was maybe once every 2 weeks. This pregnancy sex is a no go since 5weeks and it sucks.
When our daughter was born I struggled for close to 6 months with the confusion of how I saw my wife sexually. I love my wife and have been together for 13yrs but struggled seeing her as a mother and a lover. There is no quick balance here and as a male I couldn't admit this to my wife or anyone. I did get my groove back but it did take a while.
Then came our son and it was just as bad. Only this time it felt like a resentment towards him as suddenly there was another man getting my wifes attention. This is stupid as he's my son but its a guys reaction sometimes.
Hopefully it will get better for you. It sounds to me like he just doesnt know how to approach this or handle it. Write him a letter that he can read on his own and ask him to write one back to you. I have done this with my wife as sometimes it is hard to see the hurt you cause them with what you feel. But on paper it doesnt always flow but is what you feel etc.
I found I was uncomfortable with my son when it came to holding him and changing him. But with my daughter it was a feeling of the need to protect her from everything. It is known to be due to the levels of testosterone in guys once a baby is born. I am worried about this time around with another boy but have been talking with my wife about it already and also have a trauma counselor at work I've approached before about it.
Glad that I can help you guys a bit. I know it can be frustrating and I'm sure I've made my wife pissed off many times. At the moment she is pissed at me and I got to test the couches comfort levels last night lol.