depression

angel26

I am really depressed right now. I just want to run away and disappear. Things are so messed up. I have to make a decision and it's extremely hard. No matter what i decide, someone is either upset or hurt. Im not even excited about my baby coming right now. She will be here soon. And im not sure i want her here. Everything is so complicated. I really don't know what to do. I want things back to the way they were before i got pregnant. I really wish i could just give up. Either i stay in Utah (where I've lived my whole life). Here, we have no home. At the moment, no job. But this is all i know. My kids all have medical here. Or we move down to a small town in Arizona with my husband's parents. Where all we would have is a place to stay. No job. No medical for my kids.
It may not seem that hard to you guys. But its extremely hard for me. And i am really depressed cuz of everything going on in my life right now. Im sorry to put it on here. But i might not be on much. I hope everything works out for everyone. Good luck ladies.

caroline8_p

Moving sounds ideal! You can cancel Utah medicaid & food stamps if you have them (30 days miniimum!) Before you leave & apply asap in Arizona. You should take proof of cancellation, they should send it in the maill, or go to utah office and ask for a copy. This will make things less complicated. I learned the hard way.

Things will get better.

Bahamamama4828

im sorry mama! i understand how you feel, i have been there before! its natural to feel that way about your situation. i hope you feel better soon, things will get better, they usually do.

angel26

After another night of thinking about it, i have came to the idea that i am the one making ot so hard. I keep trying to tell myself that there is so much that i need to stay for. But i have realized that i have, once again, let my mom interfere with my thinking. If we move to Arizona, we would have 2 bedrooms and a bathroom we could stay in, rent free. His parents have also said they would help us with things we need til we can do it ourselves. Hubby's dad says he might be able to get him a job. (I know, it sounds like a no brainer).
If we stay here, then we still have no where to stay. And my husband continues to look for work while we lose everything else. We are currently living with my mom. In which, they are losing the place cuz her boyfriend is really stupid and lazy and hasn't paid rent. So because of him, i am going to be completely homeless when i go into labor. His parents want us to move shortly after we have our baby. My mom is already talking about another place that's more then the one we getting kicked out of.
My whole adult life she has played guilt trips on me to get me to do what she wants. If i stay here i continue the crapy life we have now. Stuck on welfare and moving constantly. Maybe if we move down there for like a yr then we could save money to come back and be on our own. i just need to get the guts to just tell my mom i am moving.