No. Two people can have an amazing relationship and raise a great family without being married. Obviously marriage has perks should you ever separate, but having a baby is NOT a reason to marry someone.
No I don't think so. Marriage is just a piece of paper stating your commitment to one another, & if you're okay committing one on one, why do you need the paper? I'd love if all kids got two parents, whether married, together or separated but still on good terms, but that's not always the case. Being a parent is something anyone can do, not gender, race, sexuality, or marital status exclusive. Imo!
No. I think if you are already happy and committed and in a marriage and have had time to enjoy that marriage and then you have a baby that's wonderful. But I do not believe that you have to get married because you have a baby. I think you should concentrate solely on the baby and not try and add the stress of getting married to it because you will only stress yourself out in the process. As well, marriage is simply a ring and a piece if paper and those things do not determine if youwill be a good parent out not. There are many married couples who should never have kids and there are several single people who make great parents..
Btw I'm loving all your posts. Giving me something to do while pumping
Nope. My bd and I are doing great with our little family right now. Marriage migh be down the road later sometime you never know. But I've always felt you don't have to be married to have a family.
Yes, For me I wanted to be married before I had a baby. And I am, married aug 2010 expecting or first in june. However like said above I don't think it is smart to get married only because your having a baby. It just seems to me that it never works out! On the other hand, I don't always understand why ppl don't want to get married. like lets live with each other our wholes lives and have baby after baby but not be tied. I just don't get it. But I know alot of ppl who are like that, and they are always showing off the new stuff they buy with their tax money & because they don't have to pay for formula, day care, housing etc. gets a little irritating and I know not everyone is like that! I once told my husband we should have never sent in our marriage license & just changed my last name so then we could collect like they do cuz sometimes it just upsets me. But he got mad and said "No our morals are different then that"
I'm not married but we've been together 8 yrs and all the marriages in my family failed so no lol. My aunt and uncle were together 20 yrs when she passed away and they were never married so that goes to show that marriage isn't everything. I'd like to be married before #2 though.
No. Me & my bd are in a VERY stable relationship & we are commited to each other 100%! We will get married one day but neither of us are in no hurry. We are great loving parents to our baby girl with or without a marraige license.
But do you guys feel like your man is getting the milk with out purchasing the cow. I just think having a baby is way bigger then getting married. You can divorce and go the other way but when you have a kid you're stuck together.
I just don't understand how you can skip this stage and jump to have a baby.
Which I'm totally contradicting myself because were not married. We talk about it and say we're gonna do it but I'm at the point now where I feel like if he was gun-ho he would be pushing to do this. I don't want to be that female that's like come on come on ... Not!
I do know how important it is to be married and have that union while raising your kids. Not saying it can't be done with out... Daaaa I'm doing it now! LOL
Just feel like there is a reason why you date, marry then have kids... All in that order. I'm very big on Marriage.. but he seems to think on the lines of. Were already living together, have a house, shared bank account, happy and raising kids. Marriage is just paper work. Then there is EVERY excuse in the book why ER have to put it off. Errrrr!
i am a stay at home mom..so we live on my boyfriends income. with two kids and one on the way we have enough because he has a good job but we never have enough saved for the big day. we plan on getting married but its not at the top of our list. he even said recently that after the babies first birthday(because we like to throw a big first birthday lol) then next thing to save for is our wedding. i am in no rush tho...to me we been living like we are married for all these years a piece of paper will not change anything...probably because most marriages i seen(in our families) haven't lasted and ended in divorce.
But see my family has many many successful marriages. My parents been married for 30 years... My uncles all 19 yrs+ my best friends from school all 10+
Most people dont really understand marriage anymore. Orginally there was no divorce. Our generation (and my parents) has lost most of the values that older generations have. Not just the value in marriage but also in most everything. In the olden days people still cheated or went to jail but it was far less than now. I mean a 19yr old kid shot and killed a cop sunday in lakeland (where im from) that is just sad that he threw his life away and for what reason??? Sorry a little off subject but every single person on this post said no its not important. I believe it is but its important to get married THEN have a kid. Also if you have a kid and dont get married your far more likely to have more than one "baby daddy".
@kindell I highly disagree with your statement. My child's father and I are not married and probably never will be. He does not believe in marriage and I will not force him into it. We love each other very much and are completely committed to each other. We live with each other and share our lives together. We do not need a peice of paper that the government requires you to sign in order to be legally married to raise o ur child and I believe that you are saying if youre not married you are basically a whore and are going to get pregnant again by some other man. I find that very disrespectful. For one I am not having any more kids but if I did it would still be by the same man that I love as we are happy together and I plan on starting that way forever. More married men and women cheat than do non married because they feel trapped in a loveless marriage that costs thousands of dollars to end.
I dont feel that way. I think if your man plans on marrying you then he will regardless..whether youve already had a baby or not. If he doesnt feel the need to marry you because he doesnt "want to purchase the cow" then he didnt plan on marrying you in the first place.
@Junebuggbabie I agree..i dont see any correlation in being unwed & having multiple baby daddys! Thats a dumb ass statistic! Me & my bd arent married & who knows if/when we will BUT I do know that he is the only person I plan on being with for the rest of my life!
My husband insisted that we be married before we had a kid. We started trying b4 we were married cuz of my age and we couldnt afford to get married at the time. He told me that if i got preggo we'd have to get married at the court. I didnt want that i wanted a real wedding and wanted to be able to party at my wedding. So he proposed the next month and we planned a wedding in vegas three months after. We stopped trying to wait till after the wedding...and of course i accidentally got preggo.
My mam and dad are divorced and after being there to witness what thar was like I NEVER want to get married. My mam is a alcoholic and my dad never wanted to marry her but then she fell preg with me and my dad felt like he had to. They were together 17 yrs but only because my dad promised my mams mam on her death bed that he'd wait until we were old enough to understand why he was leaving her, but then my mam 'accedently' got preg with my younger sister and my poor dad couldn't take it anymore. I love my bd more than anything and we are engaged which shows we are commited to each other and that's enough for me
I come from a long line if divorces and blended families, so I know families can work really well in any circumstances. I however feel for me, marraige is a must. My hubby and I have been together 7+ yrs now and were together 5 before that. We waited because I wanted someone to raise a family with and I told him I was going into our marraige and divorce wasn't an option do we better be fanned sure. We fight sometimes but we always come back to our happy and know that the life we lead will be an example to our children. I think marraige symbolizes that commitment that two people are there for each other and they will continue to do so despite the bad days, they will strive to be better for each other and family. Some people get this without marraige, and I get and respect that! For me, I want to break the cycle of failed relationships and set the example for my daughter that it is ok to give up and walk away from someone you were building a life with. Too many people in my family did that, and it caused a lot of problems for 9 kids growing up with mommy and daddy issues. They couldn't get along post separation. I know couples can get along, but historically and societally that is not the norm. Again, this is for me, I have friends out there making it work and I love them and respect them for it! I also feel that w a 50% divorce rate, who would want to get married these days, but being the sole voice saying yes in this thread, thought I'd share where I wad coming from.
I respect everyones reasons however, i feel marriage is important. I would never have a child with someone who "doesnt believe" in marriage. Kinda shows they cannot commit. If they cant commit to u then how do u know they will commit to ur child. I think the problem w our generation is that we give up way too easy. its easier to leave a partnership than to stay and fix it. Ive been married to my husband for 7 years. It hasnt always been easy but we always make it work because we r in it together for the long haul.
I did not say anything about anyone being a whore. I simply said the value of marriage has been lost thur the years. This is a fact. Also about the multiple father thing its not always a bad thing i mean people fall in love and want child. But once again it is a fact i dont remember the percentage but it was something i read awhile back. I didnt mean to make anyone made i was just stating my mind the same as everyone else that posted on here.
@mums_the_word an engagement isnt a commitment atleast not where I'm from an engagement means we will be getting married. I'm not trying to be rude I just don't understand why you'd say "yes" to getting married but only leaving it with "engaged". I say this because a friend of mine. She had a baby then bd proposed & they were going to get married 9 10 11. They ended up having another baby in january of this year. so they were going to just go to the court that day and get married. She thought everything was perfect between them come july 1 he told her he was done! She was completely blind sided and he also left her for someone else. They didn't have that marriage commitment so he up and left. I just don't understand the point of being engaged with no thought of marriage.
Both my parents and jimmys are divorced but we still believe in it so blaming not getting married because other family didn't make it sounds a little silly to me.
@kindell I've heard that fact before too. Same with what 50% of teenage moms will have another child within 2 years or whatever it is. Was true with my step sister. Had her first at 16 second at 18. Now she is married at 32 and has another 4 yr old.
Comments
Being a parent is something anyone can do, not gender, race, sexuality, or marital status exclusive.
Imo!
Btw I'm loving all your posts. Giving me something to do while pumping
However like said above I don't think it is smart to get married only because your having a baby. It just seems to me that it never works out!
On the other hand, I don't always understand why ppl don't want to get married. like lets live with each other our wholes lives and have baby after baby but not be tied. I just don't get it. But I know alot of ppl who are like that, and they are always showing off the new stuff they buy with their tax money & because they don't have to pay for formula, day care, housing etc. gets a little irritating and I know not everyone is like that!
I once told my husband we should have never sent in our marriage license & just changed my last name so then we could collect like they do cuz sometimes it just upsets me. But he got mad and said "No our morals are different then that"
I just don't understand how you can skip this stage and jump to have a baby.
Which I'm totally contradicting myself because were not married. We talk about it and say we're gonna do it but I'm at the point now where I feel like if he was gun-ho he would be pushing to do this. I don't want to be that female that's like come on come on ... Not!
I do know how important it is to be married and have that union while raising your kids. Not saying it can't be done with out... Daaaa I'm doing it now! LOL
Just feel like there is a reason why you date, marry then have kids... All in that order. I'm very big on Marriage.. but he seems to think on the lines of. Were already living together, have a house, shared bank account, happy and raising kids. Marriage is just paper work. Then there is EVERY excuse in the book why ER have to put it off. Errrrr!
Both my parents and jimmys are divorced but we still believe in it so blaming not getting married because other family didn't make it sounds a little silly to me.