ppd & breastfeeding

moodymommie

I believe I have ppd I have good days & bad & try to stay positive & ignore the sadness. for the most part it works but sometimes it doesnt & I find myself having a rough day. I dont ever think of harming myself or my lo its more of a sadness & me feeling im a bad mom & me being terrified of something happening to my lo. sometimes I have thoughts of something completly ridiculous hurting my lo or her getting sids & I freak out & have to check on her, like I know she is fine but I MUST check on her or I feel like It might become real. my bf mom is so nice & helpful but I feel like im in a rough patch with the ppd so I overthink things & lately she has been watching my lo while im in the house. I am still right there but I feel like I am a bad mom like my daughter gets bored of me or im not good enough for her, so its good I have help to watch her so she is around positive when im feeling down. I feel like breastfeeding really helps me cope with my ppd because I know my lo wants to eat from me & we have something special & im giving her the best food she will get because its natural. breastfeeding really helps I have no idea why but it does & im so glad I do it because without t I sometimes feel like my bfs mom wouldnt give her back if I didnt have to feed her (not in a negative way because she helps so much, just because she loves her sooo much she loves spending time with her) but I feel good that my lo wont ever be far from me maybe thats why bf helps me feel better. idk but I recently went back to work so maybe thats why im in a funk because I dont have my baby with me. I dont really know why I posted this or what I think ill get from this but I guess I needed to vent.

mom924

Hang in there babe! It all gets easier! And good job with the breastfeeding!

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moodymommie

I hope so. I dont want this rubbing off to my beautiful bbygirl.

Bahamamama4828

mind if i offer a natural remedy to this? you dont have to take my advice but it should work. take as much niacin (b3) as you can when you start to feel down. take some first thing in the morning, and half way through your day if you feel bad again take some more. (its a weird concept i know, but every health issue means something deficient in the diet)

moodymommie

@bahamamama4828 where do I find b3? is it just a vitamin? I would really like to get over this idk what is going on its like only when im alone with my lo most of the time. is this bad? I feel like I bore her & im not fun and entertaining. my bfs mom is watching her overnight & is watches her a lot. not because I ask her to but she asks me I dont mind but I feel like a bad mom like I just let others watch her. I kinda feel like I should be the only one to watch her & she should be with me all the time 24/7. ifeel like because she helps me I wont be able to take care of my next bavy because ill be dependent on help from others . & idk if ill be ok when we move out on our own. (hawaii is super expensive so its taking us forever) @mom924 @rileyandme

Bahamamama4828

yes vitamin. niacin is vitamin b3

mom924

How old is your little one?

moodymommie

@mom924 she is 2 months what do you so with your lo? sometimes I feel like holding her isnt enough. we talk &i hold her in the air to fly & let her chill tummy time swing time & sometimes floormat & just recently outside time since she is older

Junebuggbabie85

I feel the same way my mom watches my lo so much because I just get so depressed and just cry because I feel like a bad mon especially when my baby is colicky because I feel like it's my fault that he's crying and I.should know how to make him stop but I can't because I'm not fit to be a mother. And it's even more upsetting because my lo has spent so much time with my mother he responds to her voice and follows her with his eyes but barely acknowledges me

moodymommie

@junebuggbabie85 I feel the exact same way I mean I spend time with my lo but idk I feel unfit& sometimes she ignores me I wonder if im not giving her enough time to nap. I just feel weird. I have to try harder for her. I should knowwhat im doing I work with babies her same age& haveno problembut when its my kid its different...

mom924

I had the baby blues about three weeks after Ashton was born. My husband went back to work and I was left by myself to take of two kids by myself and was in shock! I had anxiety about leaving the house and Ashton would cry and cry from gas and I knew what I was doing but felt so helpless and felt it was all my fault. I felt that I ruined my three year olds life by bringing another baby home. My family and friends and my Dr and her nurse helped me get through. I woke up one morning and it was like someone flipped the switch, I was back. Back to myself. When they are little like this everyday we battle our thoughts...am I feeding him enough, am I playing with them enough, what if they get sick? Just know that your baby is well loved and that you are doing a great job. It's easier said than done but think positive. Pat yourself on the back for doing what you are. There is only so much you can do with them when they are this little. You're doing a fantastic job!!!!

moodymommie

thanks @mom924 today seems better she is in a great mood &napping a lot. I hopemy switch flips back soon

allyssasmommy

I have ppd and I breast feed I'm on zoloft bc I was sleep deprived and trying so hard to build my supply I was having bad dreams about me putting her in the fridge and.freezer and oven but it wasn't on and one of me eating her bc I wanted her back in my belly what u should do even if its the blues is tell ur ob its common for woman and its ok it took a lot for me to be able to call them and say I need help BTW zoloft u can bf no problems I hope things get better

moodymommie

@allyssasmommy I hope I can beat it without medicine I dont likethe side effects

Bahamamama4828

good luck! everything will be ok!
ps. try the niacin! any time you feel down.

moodymommie

im gonna pick up some next week forsure my bad days are less & less now so maybe with this it will be gone

loveourlittleone

@bahamamama4828 I was / kinda am still suffering from ppd. I was on zoloft for less than 1 month but stopped because I didn't want my baby getting it from my bm. I've also heard about niacin helping with depression like you mentioned but I read it could harm a bf baby...so I didn't take it. Advice?
Going back to work 6 weeks pp actually helped me a lot but I still have those days.

Bahamamama4828

no its safe, i should have specified, take the lowest mg's if nursing and not the no flush or slow kind.
@moodymommy @loveourlittleone

moodymommie

ok just regular niacin. will do

allyssasmommy

There are only 3 meds to take while bf zoloft paxil and prozac I've tried two of the three so far not working

allyssasmommy

So I have to wean and my baby is 11months old on the 16th

tryinghard19

I have been feeling like this a lot lately. My lo will be 3 weeks old on Tuesday. If anyone wants to talk.....i could sure use a friend...

misskristin

@allyssasmommy You breastfed for 11 months!!!! Great job sweetie!!! You should be so proud of yourself! I've found that when I struggle (stress, loss, & anxiety have been part of my life for a long time) I need to refocus and take a look at the reality of things. I worry about my daughter (more than I did with my son) and I assume it's in part to the 2 miscarriages I had before she was born. If I feel I need to check on her, I do it. Rational or not, if I need to see she is breathing, then I do and it's ok. From what you posted in January, you are clearly a loving & devoted mother!

Jess510

My son is going to be one on Wednesday and i suffered from ppd bad!! If anyone needs to talk pm me and I'll give you my cell. I also had intrusive thoughts...

allyssasmommy

@misskristin i do it too i lost my first two and i was supper nervous about having her but i miss the bonding i havent bf in 2 weeks ive been on a anxiety med thats helping wonderfully it turnes out i was missing sleep which my med helps me on