sex help please!

three_cats_n_a_baby

Hello, me and my husband just had sex for the second time since i gave birth 3 months ago-took a while after a long forcep delivery and is still scary. The problem i am having is that it feels like he can't put it in any further i feel like its closed up! And its still sore and i feel if he pushes it any further it will damage me. Has anyone been through this? I just don't enjoy it and can't relax and want it to be over. Not sure what to do as i want to do it and enjoy it but just doesn't seem to be working, please help!

Mrz_Jackson

Lots an lots of lubrication maybe ? I'm still uncomfortable an it helps me lots

LolasBabyNum1

Yeah its just anxiety youre having I still feel the same Im 4mnths pp. I just use alota lube and its helped so far because it hurts so much and I feel like hes gonna cut me up lol

three_cats_n_a_baby

We tried a bit but on his bit not in me if u know what i mean! Maybei am not relaxed enough and that's why it feels closed? Frustrating tho :-(

three_cats_n_a_baby

@Lolababynum1 glad i am not the only one! Thanks :-)

LolasBabyNum1

No problem. Put a lil on yourself it should help some too

newmomma13

I feel like that and I'll be almost 5 months pp lol i alway scoot back when he comes forward lol

three_cats_n_a_baby

He thinks i should see a doc but even if something was wrong i couldn't bare being messed about with down there!

Mimii36

Its fine..im 3 months pp & we have had sex PLENTY of times & its still like that everytime. It's like something is blocking his entry & its pretty uncomfortable trying to push through. It's normal tho im sure.

three_cats_n_a_baby

@Mimii36 i hope its normal anyway, wonder when and if it will feel normal though, my poor husband it can't be very nice me looking like i am having my nails pulled out while he trys to be romantic lol

LolasBabyNum1

Lol. I think its more anxiety because i mean we did push out something big from a hole so small.

three_cats_n_a_baby

@Lolasbabynum1 think i will just have to get really drunk one night when i stop breast feeding and maybe the door will open lol

Kimberly4411

You may want to go get checked out, my episemotimy (sp?) healed wrong, now i'm putting cream on it to soften in up, i havent head sex since starting the cream ( i'm terrified lol)

three_cats_n_a_baby

@Kimberly4411 Thank i may do and i know i should but after all that birth stuff and such a long time to start feeling normal i am too scared at the thought of someone poking about down there or needing surgery or somethin which i know is stupid and u probably felt the same, i hope your cream stuff works and good luck when u do it, hope its more pleasurable for u than it is me lol.

Janet_2011

Weird.. I had sex right after I stopped bleeding at exactly 4 weeks after giving birth and it felt great, he said it was tighter but not uncomfortable for neither of us, didn't hurt at all either.

Ourlittlenugget

It's because you are closed! I've always had this from time to time even before baby and still now even though I had a c-section. Nobody talks about female anatomy much, but it isn't just a "hole". The same way a man's penis lengthens and hardens for intercourse - the vagina works in opposition to soften, open, and lengthen upward to make room for penetration. All this, along with lubrication, happens through the arousal process. If discomfort from childbirth is heavy on your mind, it's going to be tough getting to that point of arousal and may take some time. Let yourself have that time. :-)

caroline8_p

I had/have the same problem. There IS a cream for the tender raw feeling, but side affect is decreased milk supply.

My bf cheated on me cause its been so long. But anyway! We did it last night and it hurt at first & when he went too deep. I personally need stimulation, physically and I like visually too. It helps.

LeviLuv8

@carolina8_p wait your ok with him cheating on you and using the excuse it had been so long! Yikes!
But like everyone said if you are not aroused enough you wont soften up! I've had this problem while ttc because I got so sick of having sex all the time. Lots of lube works wonders!

caroline8_p

@babyluv8 NO, Im not ok with it, nor do I think any of his excuse are anywhere near valid, cause there IS no excuse.. Im just saying that that is why it happened. I dont condone him doing it. Nor will I ever let get past me again (did I say that right?) Dont judge me, there are people in worse relationships! I know I should leave, but Im not ready to.

ok, dont want to make this thread about me, sorry original poster.

p.s. was not at all trying to sound rude if I did, sorry.

TheTrondsons1st

Its been four months and sex still hurts for me too. I had a vacuum dilvery. Try to relax. Also it helps me for my husband and i to watch a "sexy" movie to help get me in the mood and want it. Of course if you don't like that kind of stuff then don't do it but it helps me. good luck

three_cats_n_a_baby

Thanks all, and both times-sorry if tmi- but both times i had climaxed from foreplay first so should really be relaxed but am conscious of it so just gonna take time i think. Not really into watching porn or anything together so that's out. Will usual a load more lube tho and try think more happy thoughts lol.