Name change/adoption without biological father in the picture?

second_time_mommy7

My husband and I would like to change our sons name/step parent adopt before he starts school. His biological father is not in the picture, we have not seen or heard from him in over 2 years. Child support is automatically withdrawn from his check my son is 4 years old and received his first payment 8 months ago. I don't know how to contact him and I think even though he doesn't see him I think he will put up a fight just to mess with me. I want to change my sons first name to his middle name and give him my husbands last name, I'm just afraid to open up a can of worms if that makes sense. We are content with our life the way it is and my husband is the only father my son has ever known and I want it to stay that way. His biological father was into drugs and all that stuff last time we heard from him. My son doesn't even know who he is when he sees him in pictures (saved for when he is old enough for "the talk") I guess I'm wondering if anyone has been in this situation or knows someone that has? What the outcome was and what I could possibly be facing if we do decide to go through with it? Any lawyers on pregly could possibly help also. I just don't know what to do I at the very least want his first name changed to his middle because he has a veryyyyy unique name no one can pronounce and its hard for me to deal with it and I don't want him to have to deal with it when he is in school/employed. Any help?

Heather3girls1boy

I don't know how it works were you are but I was told to put a peition in the paper for a name change if no one responds you can get the name change no problem.

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

second_time_mommy7

@heather3rdgirl he lives in another state, do you know if I would need to do it here or there?

Heather3girls1boy

From what I was told you do it in your state, it doesn't matter where he lives. I was given this advice, haven't tryed it my self my situation is a bit different. Do some research

Heather3girls1boy

Just trying to help the best I can, sorry I can't help more.

second_time_mommy7

@armahnismommy I know him but a lot has changed since I "knew him" I think that he may try to fight it because the last time I heard from him he resented me for not wanting to work things out and it was almost like he wanted to do anything he could to make mg life hell because I moved on. We are ok with not receiving the child support we don't use it anyways. He doesn't show that he cares, obviously. He filed for rights 3 yrs ago and did not show up to court for the hearing "because he was tired" and said it in speaker phone in front of a judge. It was dismissed. He called to see him once after that and I let him, never heard from him again after that. Thanks for your kind words and luck I need all I can get, I'm so nervous. I meet with a lawyer tomorrow and she is veryyyyy expensive and I question if I should hire her or proceed with it on my own until I need one. Lol

ripKaydence

If its a free consultation id ask the lawyer what she thinks then go from there.

ripKaydence

But i wouldn't pay for advice

brodysmamma

Ya you can put something in the newspaper and they have 30 days to respond. But I would ask a lawyer. Wouldn't hurt to call and ask.

second_time_mommy7

@heather3rdgirl I'll take any advice I can get! So far I have called the court and they said for name change I file the form and then the judge will decide how to go about it from there. I would rather him adopt my son because I think it would be best in the long run but hey ill take what I can get! I'm meeting with a lawyer but for the price I kinda want to know how much ill really need one:) I appreciate all the help ladies!

Heather3girls1boy

I have heard it is similar for adoption for a parent not being involved as well. Good Luck

second_time_mommy7

@ripKaydence its free tomorrow if I don't use the firm but if I decide to they will charge me for tomorrow. So ill get all I can from it and decide how to proceed! P.s. I seen in the hot mama challenge your hubby is deployed, firstly you are a very strong woman and I admire you. And secondly how about some hotttt mama pics for hubby he would appreciate them much more then our men do I'm sure!

second_time_mommy7

@Heather3rdgirl thanks girl!

Fate

My cousin had this done when her child was about 7. He never knew his father, not even from the day he was born. Never in his life had they met.. When the boy turned 16 he changed his name back to his father's last name. She tried to stop him, but at 16, you can do whatever you want with your name. He told his mom that it would always be his identity.

One of my sisters, and one of my brothers have our real father's last name. They were asked throughout their childhood if they wanted to get it changed, they both always said no. One is 26 and one is 24 now, they still have it and we never knew our father.

Talk to your lawyer and see about adoption. After the name change you will need a new social security card with his new correct name on it. Don't forget, very important!

LaFiiTz89

Well I want to change my daughters last name to my husbands and mine but they said if I do that he had to adopt her and her real dad would never be responsible for child support

YNVTish

I did this with my first born. You first have to send him a "certified" letter.. hen give my 60 days to respond in writing or court order letters.

Then you have to place an add in the newspaper and wait 30 days for a reply.

Then you can file for the name to be change.. remember the orginal birth certificate can never be changes... They actually just attach an amendment to it.

It's an easy process.. just takes about 4 to 5 months to do.

Heather3girls1boy

Me and my bf have a 5 year old together Sumer (and another daughter on the way), well when I got prego military was involved. Her dad (my bf) told me he couldn't deal with that right now, 4 days later got deployed. I tryed to contact him several times, with mo response. Well my best friend asked me to marry him, I said yes, I was still prego. We got marry and when Sumer was born she got my husbands last name. Biggest mistake ever! Not just giving her his name but getting married to him. So now Sumer's biological father and I are together again and have been going on 3 years. The moment Sumer meet him she knew he was daddy (I didn't tell her). She refuses to go by her legal name, she goes by her daddys name (even at school). We are working on changing her name. My ex finally agreed to giving me a divorce, hope to change it that way. :-S

Heather3girls1boy

@second_time_mommy7

second_time_mommy7

@fate my son is convienced his last name is the same as ours, we have never told him he has our last name I guess he just assumes. If someone calls him by his real name he doesn't know who they are talking about Lmao

second_time_mommy7

@lafiitz89 I'm pretty sure we would lose child support, we don't use it anyways it just goes into his savings. I'm afraid of how upset he will be when he finds out its not his name. I honestly think he will argue with teachers until he is blue in the face insisting his name is not his name!

MyLove2

I think the only way is through adoption. Through the adoption way you can just change the kids name to the fathers last name. It's a hassle but it's worth it.

second_time_mommy7

@ynvtish did your child's father object, or even reply at all? I knew it would take a while just not that long. I know every situation is different but was your child adopted or just a name change? Was it an expensive process for you?

second_time_mommy7

@heather3rdgirl if your bf is her biological father, he could petition for a dna test to prove he is her father and that could be a way to change her name. If you don't make too much money you could possibly do this through the state and they would pay for it! Does you ex have anything to do with your daughter now?

second_time_mommy7

@aishamusa that's what I was thinking, if we just did the full adoption process now we wouldn't have to deal with it anymore as opposed to name change his biological father trying to come into the pic in 5 or so years. Just get it completely out of the way now! Have you had any experiences with adoption?

captivated

In order for him to adopt your child, the biological father would need to sign away his parental rights. There is no other way around this really. Same goes for a name change- either he signs aways his rights or signs notarized consent to the name change.

I inquired my lawyer about all of this when I got custody of my daughter.

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

Heather3girls1boy

@second_time_mommy7 yes we got a personal DNA test for his family's peace of mind. My ex has nothing to with my daughter he walked a away 3 years ago. The state won't get involved until a divorce is final. Thanks for the advice though, I am working on it, my ex finally agreed to a divorce. Getting some where

Heather3girls1boy

@second_time_mommy7 any luck with your lawyer yet.

YNVTish

@second_time_mommy7 no he never objected.. he called himself trying to be stubborn and ignore my letters but it only screwed him because he never replied... Which was great

kiwi_mom

Take care of the adoption first. Don't make a big deal about it to him, maybe just say its for insurance purposes and tell him you will release child support. Don't mention changing his name because this might upset him and make him say no. If you can get the adoption done, then you will have no problems changing his name:)