A good way to bargain with him about the adoption is making sure he is aware that means no more child support. Once someone is adopted, their parents can never receive child support from that person again.
It doesn't work if it is just strictly signing your rights away. They're still required to pay unless that child is adopted (or every deadbeat would do it).
I live in TX & have similar issues. I have a 10yr old son, his father & I divorced when he was 18m. Child support was ordered in the divorce at that time & I was given custody with full say over his supervised visits. From that point forward he has not been involved, maybe seen him 5-6 times in 9yrs. I have never received child support until Oct of last year. By this time he is $111,000 behind!! Attorney general for state of Tx had a hearing to place him on probation. I talked to judge & rep with ATT gen. Office about terminating his rights due to child abandonment laws (no contact for 2+ yrs) it has to be done through a private att. The att. Gen. Won't handle that but can easily be done when a parant is not involved. Child support inforcer informed me that even if I went that route & had his rights terminated & last name changed the biological father would still be responsable for the $111k that has accumulated before. That goes even if my husband now was to adopt him. In some cases the biological father is still required to pay support even if they sign away their rights! Judge told me that too many men where just having kids signing away rights to get out of the financial responsability so TX changed the law basically a parent is financially responsable reguardless if they have rights or not. It all depends on the laws for Ur state. Call attorney general in Ur state & ask questions.
No but my fathers a low life, so I can relate to alot of what your saying, my father had to pay child support on me basiclly all my life. Hes still paying a little from years ago when he wanted to run away from his responsibilities. But the adoption side I have no experience with..
Ok just went though this 2 years ago here in Ohio. The laws here are if the other parent has sent nothing at all no txt, birthday card anything at all called etc. it is considered basically giving up your rights. It doesn't matter if he's in another state let alone paying support that doesn't matter. My ex lived in ga and I lived in Ohio. I know here in Ohio you have to be married for at least two years. It cost us 2 grand for the attorney fees, new birth certs., all the filing fees, the name change fee etc. we had to get an attorney bc we wanted it done right. We had to have a guardian-ad-lightum come in and see how he was with my kids as well and she had the final say. My ex knew of everything that was happening so he was ok with it. It didn't help that my ex threatened him of he didn't give up his rights but still he did it and didn't have to be present. She sent him paper he had to have notarized and send back to her. I told him child support would stop but little did he know I didn't put the request in for the 21,000 dollars he was behind on. It just stopped the current but I said I didn't want the back support to go away my kids were entitled to that!!! He wasn't a very happy camper about that but he didn't know that's how it was going to happen and he signed the papers. If you don't have his address I don't think you will be able to do much. You need to get a hold of an attorney though to make sure it's all done right. The name change isn't an issue with his first and middle but you can't change the last name without his permission... Idk how your state is though... You have to be able to prove that he's done nothing at all for your son! Bc if he has proof then unless he gives up his rights to your son your basically screwed unless you get an attorney and fight it. My sister is going through this process right now with her ex and her current husband. Her ex is fighting it. She's got an attorney and winning bc he hasn't been apart of the kids life and the only dad he knows is her current husband. Hope this helped some. All I know is here in Ohio it isn't cheap to change a name it's like 35.00 a letter to change it and a fee... Good luck.
@momofSOONtobe7 damn now I wish I did this before I moved from Ohio, I am now living in ky hoping the laws aren't much different. I have no way to contact my ex about anything I want to do he kinda fell off the map 2 yrs ago and I heard he is living in Seattle now. I have no idea though. His mom has sent one birthday card, in July 2011 and will occasionally send fb messages asking to see him, telling me his bio dad is no longer around. The problem I have with that is I tried to setup steady visitation with her and she wants to come around once a yr when she feels like being a grandparent and be gone for another yr. I told her if she was going to be a part of my sons life it will be steady and not when its just convient. My child deserves better. I know how it feels as a child to be only wanted during a convient time and its a horrible feeling. I refuse to subject my child to that. He has plenty of family that loves him daily he doesn't need the bs or confusion.
@ArmahnisMommy@Heather3rdgirl Sorry I haven't updated ladies. I didn't get to speak to the lawyer my daughter got sick and the only appointment I could get her was at the same time as the lawyer, so I rescheduled for today. I'll have a better update this evening
Well his family is different. It's not HIM contacting you. Like someone else said find an attorney that will do a free consultation. You are right about the consistency of seeing the child. It's not fair nor right!!! I would first go about posting something in the paper as well asking for an address. Put something to the affect of his name and your name and maybe an email address you can make up one for in case you get crazies responding saying I'm trying to get a hold of you please contact me at this email address and go from there.
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It doesn't work if it is just strictly signing your rights away. They're still required to pay unless that child is adopted (or every deadbeat would do it).