In a 'pity me' kind of mood

captivated

I didn't want another baby or pregnancy, but I am feeling awfully down today about the loss. I don't think I had time to be "upset" during the long miscarriage process because of the physical pain and just being so confused. I see these posts about kicks, birth, finding out genders and I am actually feeling...jealous? It is ridiculous. I have been blessed with two miracle children, another would have devastated us financially as we are struggling to support our children now. And if you think about it, it wasn't REALLY a baby...just a sac. I kind of feel like a failure for allowing it to happen again (getting pregnant), for not taking stricter precautions...kind of feeling like I am punished. I don't really know what the point of this post was, just had to get it out I guess.

I hope and pray things turn for the better soon. I don't think we can handle much more.

captivated

Thank you @mommytobe20. I don't think I am any stronger than the average person. Things can't possibly stay bad forever...!

[Deleted User]

I pray that things get better for u and u get the treatment that u need!

Mijita

Oh girl, please don't fester on regrets, it's such a waste of energy. I personally know about self pity and regret and I let it overpower me. I suffered a miscarriage, then a ruptured ectopic before I had my baby. I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason! Yours will soon surface and you will thank God for unanswered (what you think) prayers.

Believe me when I say you can take all the precautions in the world and still get pregnant, @fate can attest to this! You are NOT a failure because you conceived. We get so comfortable in life that we tend to ”go with the flow” of things and accept things for what they are. Basically sounds like you take things in stride and accept responsibility for you actions. So pleeeeassse put a smile back on that beautiful face (believe me, it's beautiful) and get on with your day! That's an order!

I'm sending positive thoughts, love, and tons of hugs from almost 100° Arizona! LOL.

Fate

Mhmm. She's right. Some things are just meant to be. Let this make you stronger.

RTMommy

You have the right to be sad and feel jealous. Both my MCs were blighted ovums, and I still felt what you're feeling. I was angry at the people who it came so easily for, etc...and how I can afford and would absolutely have loved to have both of those babies. Let yourself go through the emotions because that's the best way to process. We're all here for you.

MyLove2

Oh i've been in that position before as in feeling bad about myself and the way life is turning out, but stay possitive and work at your best. Everything happens for a good reason. There's always someone in this world that has delt with way worse things then what we have been through in one way or another.

I'm so sorry for your loss hun. :-(

mrsrobbins6113

It's been about eight or nine months since I lost my baby and I still feel that way sometimes. It's not easy. And you'll have your bad days. I used to call my mom crying at least once a week. But its gotten easier go handle on my own. Today has been bad but I know my baby will come back when its ready. Stay strong and you can always come to me if you would like to talk. So sorry for your loss.

DavidnAadynsMama

Im sorry hun. I cant imagine what you're going through. Even though technically it was "only a sac", you were pregnant and have every right to be upset and mourn that loss. I know it cant be easy. I may have missed the update but did you ever have the D&C or pass it on your own?

captivated

@davidnaadynsmama, I had a laparoscopy, biopsy and d&c a title less than a week ago. They suspected uterine cancer from some tests they ran and wanted to go in and look around and get the biopsy at the same time.

Im feeling a bit better now though, but lost my health insurance due to a mistake and shouldn't have been "eligible" in the first place.

@everyone, thank you for your responses. It means alot

DavidnAadynsMama

Oh no, I hope its not what they suspect hun

captivated

If it is, it's really, really early so I am not too worried @davidnaadynsmama

DavidnAadynsMama

Thats good. Im glad

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

SalasMommy

The same thing happened to me I found out I was pregnant after a positive test and at 8week3days lost the baby no heartbeat.. that was the 30th of December this past year I felt awful bc I didn't want to have another baby and i kept telling my husband that I didn't (never thinking about abortion but still being mad at that fact) then when it happened I couldn't stop crying no one really understood what i felt..I still feel that guilt but i know there was nothing that i could do about it..but still the guilt of not being excited or being happy still kills me...I am expecting this rainbow baby with open arms