Still having a hard time, please read.

caroline8_p

Still, 9 months after having Malia, I have issues with how the birthing experience went. I absolutely regret How things turned out, I wish I had more confidence at the time to "stand up" to those nurses. There were just things tthst I wanted to do & the lady told me no, & I ended up with drugs because they kept asking. Ultimatly, it was up to me, but better support would have been nice (blamed bf a little, just a littlle). I'm sure I would have had a vaginal birth if I had. I don't really know what to do with these emotions I still have. I mean, I don't mope around, they just come to mind more often than not.

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Bahamamama4828

I totally understand! My first 2 experiences were less than ideal, one vaginal one section. My section was a rare need, as most are not necessary but the third time around I got exactly what I wanted with no nurses or doctors pushing me around.
You got a pretty little girl out of the catastrophe even though it wasn't what you wanted. I know how it feels to feel that way.
(I don't have a way with words, but just showing I understand)

PregnantELF

I am totally with you, I regret alot of what happened during my birth. I use to think about it daily, but now that my son is 8 months, I think about it less. I love the show 16& preg. But everytime I watch it and see them push out the baby I get sooo angry/jealous. And when I see a c ~ section I cry my eyes out!!! I was hysterical during my section crying and screaming begging not to have it. I barely remember my son being born because of all the drugs, I'm not even one to take tylenol so I have a weak system. I really hope one day I can but it aside.

PregnantELF

Put*

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LilSugarsMomma

While I'm pleased with my birthing experience (everything went as I planned, except I wussed out and got the epidural - and I'm okay with that because I wanted it and it wasn't pushed on me), I'm still struggling with the fact that I couldn't breastfeed like I wanted. It's been over a year since I had her and it still bothers me. I think it's because she needed all the good stuff from the bm, but with everything that went on (she was hospitalized at 2 days old for seizures, dehydration, and jaundice), I just couldn't eat, sleep, or drink enough to keep my supply up. It makes me cry to even talk about it.

Mijita

I know it's easier said than done, but don't dwell on it as it's wasted energy. Instead, use that energy to focus on how you can change (control) your next experience -- should you choose to have one. Also use your knowledge to educate those that should need it. I think many women are bullied and have so many misconceptions about how childbirth should be.

Next time you catch yourself thinking of your experience, turn it around. Look at what you've accomplished and how far you've come and the knowledge you've gained! I say that's something to smile about.

kayleigh27

Mine wasn't too great the first time either. There are support groups online for that. Idk about the details of your experience but there's a term called "birth rape" you can look that up for yourself to see if you could be a victim of that ....

Bahamamama4828

^^^i second that I just didn't want to say it and it get twisted around

kayleigh27

Yeah I know people get a bit angry with that term but when I first heard about it it was a pretty big deal among women who felt they had been jipped or something during their birth experience. Such as being forced drugs, unessary tests, forced c sections, etc

blessedtimes2

I hope u feel better time heals!!!!

crystaldawn0830

I completely understand how u feel. I am seven months pp and still think of my experience. (was actually talking about it last night with my hubby). I had my son at a military hospital that delivers over 300 babies a month. I was just another number. When I got there, there wasn't even a bed for me and I had to wait in the wIting room with another mom whose water just broke on the floor. Then I went to triage and wait there foreverrrrr (I was 6cm) and was very uncomfortable on the tiny stretcher they had my fat butt on. I asked for some pain relief but I did not want an epi. Well whatever they gave me knocked me out from 8am-3pm. I mean I was out...don't even know how I got to my birthing room or anything. When I got checked at three I had went back to 5cm?? And I freaked and asked for the epi. Pitocin started at 3pm...water broke by them at 7pm and started pushing at 8pm. He was born at 1051pm.

As I was pushing the dr was SOOOOOOOO MEAN. She waebScreaming at me and everything. I even asked her to not yell at me like I was in trouble. She then kicked my dad out of the room bc he wasn't standing In The right place (he was behind the curtain bc I didn't want him seeing my vag while I was pushing but I WANTED him there when he first came out. I was in so much pain I didn't stand up and say no I want him here. I felt like she was being so rough with my vag compared to the other nurses that were touching me. Then she kept threatening c section and I had to keep telling her no I can do this...my god he was half hanging out of me.

I'm just sad bc I really wanted to feel special and important. I wanted this celebration that a life was being brought into the world. None of the hospital staff seemed to care that was going on lol. I'm mad at myself for giving into the drugs. I really did not want a epi but I also didmt want to be put out lol. I had planned to have a lil moment with my hubby alone before I started pushing and that wasn't allowed. She checked me and was like start pushing. I asked for a moment and it was like noo it's time to push. I'm just upset. I really want my next birth to be at a birthing center but there isn't one anywhere near me...I just don't know what to do. Ugh

starrxoxo9

I hear ya. I didn't have a c section, but because Tessa was almost 5 weeks early they forced me to let them take her for tests for 4 hours. Right after she was born she was perfectly fine and scored a 9 on the apgar scale. I had her with me for 2 hrs with no issues. Then all of the sudden after 3 hrs away from me they're rushing her to the nicu for all these problems. I missed out on 6 days of real bonding with my daughter that I'll never get back. It still makes me cry. Maybe I'm paranoid but I'm convinced there was nothing wrong with her. She always seemed perfectly fine when we visited the nicu. Her stay cost my insurance $6,000 and I'm telling you, that wasn't a coincidence. I wish I would have told them no, you can't take her. I mean really, what could they have done?? Kick me out? I would have preferred that. But I didn't know what to do . My next child will be delivered at home!!!!

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caroline8_p

Thank you everyone! Definitely wasn't birth rapper, I did consent to everything & they didn't force me. I just wish I was more supported then.

Bahamamama4828

oh yes, a doula would be good next time if youre wanting an vbac! or even a midwife for a hbac like me! (that was my makeup birth)

tinka1326

Im so sorry for all the women that didn't have ideal births. I was very lucky with 2 births that went to plan. I've never really thought about how it could have turned out if I didn't have the staff at the birthing centre to help me through it. (my birthing centre is part of the main hospital so quick access to emergency equipment if required or I probably would have gone through the normal hospital system) once again im sorry to the ladies struggling with the outcome of their lo's birth and I hope any future babies you have, have a much easier arrival xox