feeling down.. need advice

vanessa_mom2b

My Bf and i broke up about a month ago .. He came 5days ago and said he wanted to work things out cuz he realized he still has feelings for me, n that he is missing somthing in his life.. after talking, i took him back , but sunday he went out to a bar, i let him, monday he stood home , tue afternoon he left to his brothers place , he came at almist 3am drunk n he.smoked. Wed he left for a few n when he came back he slept n the couch. Today he didnt work so i askd him if he wants to go and watch a movie and he told me no because he had things to do, so i said ok, i told him i was gona go to thr mall for a lil to buy clothes for our daughter, i came home , he got dressed n left, he said he was goin to his brother house . I FEEL UNWANTED, UNLOVE , ITS LIKE HE DOESNT WANT TO SPEND NOT EVEN A HOUR WITH ME , THE ONLY TIME IN THE PAST DAYS THAT WE SPEND TOGETHER WAS LIKE HALF HOUR AND IT WAS CUZ HE WANTED TO HAVE SEX .

Mimii36

Is he living with you? Could he have said he wanted to work it out just so he could stay there?

Personally I would kick his ass right back to the curb!

vanessa_mom2b

Yes we live together @Mimii36

Mimii36

Sounds like he just wanted a place to stay to me. But Idk. Either way..you took him back under the impression that he was going to do better. Well hes not doing any better. I would just go ahead and end it if it were me.

vanessa_mom2b

I tried to bfore , but I still love him, plus I thought he was gona act diff for our family, im due in 3 weeks n I wanted him to b with us , but its like he just dnt want to spend time with me at all ,

Mijita

Oh babe, get out while you still remember what it was like to be on your own. He's playing you, for God knows what, but it's not for good intentions. Most men will wine and dine a women they missed and claim to love. Definitely doesn't sound like he's missed you. I'm sorry to be so harsh, but the sooner you see that the better off you are.

You left him once, you can do it again! Good luck!

vanessa_mom2b

I told him today how I feel , that i feel lonely cuz he never home, n he all he said is i dont know sorry

Mijita

Omg, I just saw your last post. He's doing this to you and you're about to have his baby?!?! What an ass!

vanessa_mom2b

I just want to cry

Janet_2011

wow he is an asshole, you need to try to be stronger for your self and your baby.. i would kick his worthless ass out of my house.

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

vanessa_mom2b

I feel So sad, all i do now its cry n cry, im home right now, sitting n the couch crying idnt want my daughter to see me cry she is only 13 months but i dnt know how to .

1stWoodsBaby

I agree with the other ladies. Its much harder to leave once a baby is involved, so I would put him out sooner rather than later.

Janet_2011

Hun i will tell you this once again... leave him.. he isnt worth it, you and your kids deserve way better, yes is going to be hard to raise your kids without a father, but he isnt even worth a try, i am sure you can move on with time and get with someone who is actually worth your time and your kids childhood.. i know it might be tough, but in situations like this i cant sugar coat it.. leave him.. is the best for you , mostly for your kids.

vanessa_mom2b

All i think about its how im gona take Care of a 13 month old and a newborn all bymiself a soon as I come home from giving birth. I have my bothers here but they have their own life and family.

Janet_2011

Is going to be really hard , but whats the point on having someone around who isnt going to help you at all.. hun we as women are made to handle our kids no matter how impossible it seems.

vanessa_mom2b

Where am I gona go? I will stop working next week tomorrow ill b 37 weeks so I will b n maternety leave till baby is 7werks then ill b back to work. And.if he leaves how do I do to pay those 2 months of rent bymiself, right now we go half n half , I just cant pay 950 a month if im not gona b working for 2 1/2 months

Mijita

I promise you that if he stays he'll make more work for you than if he was gone. He didn't care enough to try and work it before you broke up and you had your daughter, he doesn't care how he is treating you 3 weeks before you are due, he won't care when baby is here.

Save yourself the grief and heartache now.

Janet_2011

omg that sucks so much. either keep him around without having an actual relationship so you wont be hurt or put him on child support and explain your financial situation to a judge they might make it quicker, i am not sure since i have never being in that situation , is he the father of both babies?

Mijita

Tell him to own up to his responsibilities and pay child support!

vanessa_mom2b

Yes he is . We been togethet for 3 years @janet_2011

Janet_2011

Has he always being this way or just after the babies ???

vanessa_mom2b

@mijita I will go and apply for wic and find out everything bout child support , cuz I know I cant affort to pay rent , babysitter, babys food ,and everythin bymiself

vanessa_mom2b

@janet_2011 he changed , he wasnt like this, he started to change around march/april

Janet_2011

aw have you asked him whats wrong?? maybe he has some other stuff going on that you dont know about, it could be problems or some other stuff.

vanessa_mom2b

I did, I asked him if he is stressed out, or wats bothering him , all he says is idk,

Math_Mommy

Don't be worried that you won't be able to find a good man just because you already have children. In my experience, men see a strong, independent mom as a commodity (as opposed to some bar-skank who can't deal with any responsibility). Plus, it makes them feel like a "man" to prove that they can step up into the dad-role. So, just be the best mom you can and the good men will be knocking at your door!!"

Janet_2011

oh if he doesnt want to fix things, you really need to leave him and put him on child support, is going to be hard but is harder to keep someone around who isnt interested in you unless is for sexual reasons.. someone like him will drain your spirit which each day that you spend suffering

vanessa_mom2b

he says he wants to try, but he doesnt show it

Mimii36

Tell him words mean nothing. Only actions truly speak!

Janet_2011

I agree with mimii