Am I in the wrong here?? opinions please.

babyzoey

Ill start by saying sorry its long, i just need to vent somewhere. I havent seen any of of my highschool friends since highschool which was 2to years ago. There are three main people that i still talk to. My two friends that happen to be female really wanted to see the baby. They live in the same developement as my and for the last couple of days i was babysitting my sister so i was down. I contacted them and they told me to come over. My fiance was still asleep, she had been sleeping all day. I woke up and told her that i was taking the baby to my friends house for a bit. She said have a good time and fell back asleep i was there from 5 to 8, ate dinner there. We talked hung out in there living room and that was it. I come home and fiance was just getting up and she saw the texts on my phone from my friends and then asked who i went to see. I told her the names, (she knows them from the baby shower) and she started freaking out. That im hidding stuff from her. That i couldnt tell her who i was seeing from the start. I said you were sleeping and i didnt think it mattered. She was mad i didnt invite her also. (she was sleeping and is always saying she wants time to her self when i get home from work) she says get out of my face i dont want to see you. So i go downstairs. She asks me to come to bed but we end up on the couch watching tv. I fell asleep. at 2 am she starts smashing me in the face with a pillow (yea its soft but it still hurt and was uncalled for) screaming "i hate you, im moving out. She says i betrayed her and planned this secret randevous and didnt tell her. So i go back downstairs agian and she follows. She wouldnt let me go back to sleep, finally im like eff this im going to sleep and she attacks me again, we fall off the couch and she is like trying to squeeze me with her legs or something, i break free and she calms down. By this time is 7 am and now she wants to sleep. The next day she decides shes not leaving and going to stay. I dont think i did anything wrong. I was visiting friends. There parents were there. I have no history of cheating, i have no prior relation to there girls other then i went to prom with the one. Do you guys think im wrong here?

littlenat86

I don't think you were in the wrong and I believe you were subjected to domestic violence. It may have only been a pillow she hit you with but if she is that angry it could easily be her fists next time. I think you really need to consider your options here, you don't want your daughter growing up around that kind of stuff, especially so unprovoked. Please be careful

heyitsme

I think you should have told her from the start who you were going to see. not just "friends" I'd be pissed too if I found out that my fiance went to hang out with girls especially someone he went to prom with (cuz obviously its someone you had feelings for)

heyitsme

I agree with @littleNat86 though her actions were uncalled for

DavidnAadynsMama

I think you should have told her up front who it was. Not because it was wrong, but so she didnt have a "reason" to flip out. However, I dont feel like you did anything to warrant what happened afterwards. I would take time to consider everything. What she did was very wrong. All that she had the right to do was tell you that it made her uncomfortable and ask you not do it again

Mijita

I honestly don't think you were trying to hide anything, given you left your phone with the communications between you and your friends. I do think you should have said, ”I'm going to go visit so-and-so, be back later.” You would have saved yourself a lot of drama.

Janet_2011

I dont think you did anything wrong, but you should had told her from the get go who you were going to visit, she just had a dumb jealousy attack, but what she did was uncalled for and so disrespectful .

my3men

I think you should have also told her exactly who you was going to see, and then you took the baby. I dont think you was really wrong but if you would have told her she might have not acted the way she did. Also she is wrong towards the way she acted with you.

candy101

I think she is on the controlling side. U told her u were going to see some friends and that should have been that. She had no right to attack u over it. That hitting shit needs to be taken care of imo. My father sits and thinks about shit until he works himself up enough to hit people. Or just randomly loses control and attacks people for no real reason.

Roxy

I say ur wrong ur married now u have no reasons being with other females and u went to prom with if u dnt want things like this to mast up ur relationship dnt put ur self n it look n her view I dnt think it was OK but my opinion

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babyzoey

Thank you to everyone who sees the hitting as wrong. I personally dont feel that i did anything wrong. We already discussed that we can have friends of the opposite sex because she said she wasnt going to give them up. She never asked were exactly i was going. I didnt think it would be such a big deal or i wouldnt have went. She didnt want to talk about it when she first innitially got mad and said i didnt understand, but then can go an hit me. It just makes me mad, her excuse was she was mad and felt like braking something, which isnt the first time, just the first time hitting me. As for the girl i went to prom with. Ive known her forever. We went as friends cause the girl i asked stood me up and no one asked her, there was no feelings or anything of the such

littlenat86

@Roxy just because your married it doesn't mean you can't have friends of the opposite sex!

MrsStanley_x2

My best friend is male and my husband has female friends. We trust each other, but always give names just to cover bases. Lol the hitting was total psycho bs though! If it was reversed she would claim abuse!

dadof2n1togo

Shes nuts lol. And as for the no female friends because you're married WTF! Seriously if I didn't talk to females I would go nuts. Just for example the last 2 months I have been working with an ex gf, do I like it no can I change it no. My wife understands and yes it makes her jealous but seriously I can't understand these controlling manipulative women that think because a man talks to a woman he is going to cheat and screw around.

DavidnAadynsMama

The fact that she has male friends too makes what she did even more effed up. She has male friends that she "refused to give up" but you cant have a female friend? BS you didnt do anything wrong and dont let anyone convince you that you did. Like I said earlier, next time be clear on who it is so she has no reason for saying you are hiding things. Other than that, you did absolutely nothing

Mimii36

You didn't do anything wrong. Period. I don't think you were trying to hide anything because you didn't tell her WHO you were going to see. If she wanted to know then she could have asked. That's not your fault. It's hers!

lilbit01_209

Shes wrong... you even said she knew these chicks from her baby shower. Minor domestic abuse can turn into major... And if she cant trust women friends who are also hers (Cause why would you invite someone who you dont like to your baby shower (excluding family!! Lol)) and trust you then she has some major issues. Some of my good friends are men who I have had sexual relationships with and my hubby has no problem with it. He is even interested in how they are and how thier families are. I personally could not be married to someone who does not trust me nor someone I could not trust.

Roxy

@blessedtxmom every ones different but if ur married and ur wife dnt like the fact of u haven female friends. Then u should respect that.

Roxy

@littlenat86 which is true but she dnt like it so y fight over it he dnt need to lose he's marriage over these other females

Roxy

@lilbit01_209 wow he lets u b friends with ur ex I couldnt even do that I personally find that disrespectful but hey if he dnt mind it dnt even matter

skysma

@roxy I agree with u I trust my husband and all I just think there iscertain sitiuations u shouldn't put urself in now if u all went as a group I could deff handle that a lot better than my husband going over to a girls house but I've personally seen the flip side of things where there was a best friend of the family and they got involved so I. Totally agree with u

Roxy

@skysma yup

jules

I agree with the majority I've come from domestic violence home and that's how I ended up on a foster home then later adopted by an amazing family but I was with my biological family for the first 10 years of my life and their violence started the same way then it got really bad to the point to which I was taken away. That is something to take seriously especially if you guys have a child now. My dad who was violent had no problem putting his hands on my and it did a lot of damage to my personality and I have to work very hard to not let those things to get in the middle of NY daily life. That being said you don't want your child around that even if it didn't hurt. But as far as if you did anything wrong I personally don't think opposite sex can be friends but if you two had communication that you guys are fine with it then the only reason she would have to get upset is because she didn't know who it was exactly. But only to the point in which she should have said next time tell me not make a whole thing over it. It's something you guys need to talk about again and cover ask grounds this time.good luck!

skysma

@roxy ;-)

Roxy

@wyattsmommy that's were he's wrong y didn't he tell he's girl he was going to a girlfriends house y did he said a friend

Roxy

@skysma what's sad is if he dnt believe he's n he's wrong he's not gonna say sry to her and he's gonna think she crazy there's to sides of every story

skysma

@roxy I think its one of those things to each is own

lilbit01_209

@roxy We are strong enough in our relationship and marriage to be friends with whomever we would like. He is friends with my ex's also. I think it would only be disrespectful if I were secretly hiding my friendships from him but we have no secrets with each other. Never have, even when we were dating...

DavidnAadynsMama

If you are that jealous in a relationship that you wont allow your SO around the opposite sex, then IMO you dont have a very good relationship. Trust is key. A girl I work with looks at mileage on the car and flips if she thinks its a couple miles over where she thinks it should be, or she times him coming home from work. 5 minutes late, and hes "cheating". The shit is pathetic. Married or not, people can have friends (and visit them) of the opposite gender. If thats not okay, you need to re evaluate your relationship

skysma

Not that jealous just why put temptation in ur realtionship now that is over board @davidaadynsmama