In my opinion no I don't believe that you can truely love someone and then shatter that trust, love and friendship to give a part of you away to someone else.
No way is that possible! Love = respect and a person who cheats obviously does not respect the other person. I always tell my husband that if he ever wants to cheat to remember that the grass may be greener on the other side ..but that's bc it's fertilized with bullshit!
@ashley_smashley that reminds me of a saying that I absolutely love "the grass may be greener on the other side, but yours could be just as green if you took the time to take care of it". So true!
And no, I dont believe you can love someone & cheat, even ONCE. if you truly love someone, then there is no temptation bc you already have what you need/want
You could have love for someone, but truly be in love with them, no way. If you truly love someone, you wouldn't want to cause them pain. Some people don't know the true meaning of love and some people think they're in love when they're not.
@mimi36 n @fate how can u cheat n share something so special (ur body) with someone else n still be in love with that person? It may be possible but idk how.
@taytay I cheated on my bf a long time ago. It was the biggest mistake I ever made. Momentary insanity. I will always regret it & even tho he's gotten over it..I'm still not. Can't nobody tell me I didn't love him because I did...with my heart. I believe in you putting yourself in wrong situations..which is what I did. I got drunk..and I messed up. It was a terrible mistake. But yes I was in love with him when it happened.
I've never cheated, so I can't answer that. My husband worked 2300 miles away, and he says he cheated because he "missed being touched". I felt his love everyday, even just through the phone. He kept me completely happy until I found out.
Some days, I have thoughts of cheating on him. He knows this. I'm still kind of irrational even though its almost been a year (next month). I love him entirely, but my thoughts are still about revenge. I just can't bring myself to do it. Not because of love, but because of my own morals.
@Mimii36 I may just want to believe that my husband has always loved me. Kind of a kick in my own face if I said no.
@mimii36 I can understand that n u seem like u love him just by the way u talk about him @fate well that explains why u said that n would feel that way (hoping n believing he always loved u).
I think people can change. In my first marriage, we were both so unhappy and it was pretty much over but we were doing the "stay together for the kid" thing. Im embarrassed to say that I cheated. I was honest about it, but then told him that if it had gotten to that point (cheating) then we needed to get divorced. We divorced but always spent time together as friends. We fell back in love and are married again (effed up, I know lol). Anyway, I could never imagine doing that to him now. And im lucky in the fact that he doesnt use our first marriage against me & he still trusts me very much. I dont think that is the case for everyone though. Some people will always cheat bc they dont respect the bond two people "should" have. But I think if it happens once and the person at least has enough respect to be honest about it then they deserve another chance. I know I would forgive hubby (once), even if I.hadnt cheated in our first marriage. I dunno, its a very grey area for me
@armahnismommy well maybe the meaning of love means something different to you than it does to me. For me, no matter what you're going through, it shouldn't lead to cheating. There's a saying...It takes strength to do the right thing when everyone would understand if you did wrong. I just am so against cheating. If someone has the desire to cheat then I think the person should end their current relationship and go off and do their own thing.
@Armahnismommy um no, my opinion is not closed minded. We're two different people, that's a given, but how can you say your meaning of love is like everyone else's...that's a closed minded statement! People clearly have different meanings of love...so =; to you too
@fate I feel like you feel, expect I don't think he completely loved me. I wished I had cheated while he was cheating...Because then I think it wouldn't have hurt so bad. Our relationship wasn't the best then but it hurt me more than I thought
@ArmahnisMommy Sometimes it looks like you just wanna start stuff... Laughing at someone else's beliefs is "closed minded".
@Summergirl22 Right. I feel the same. He once offered to let me cheat, but I'm just not that type of girl. I believe he just wanted me to get over it by being "even". I dunno.
And yeah I completely understand, plus it's not the the same..you never gave him permission I catch my self thinking in the back of my mind, what if he ever does it again. I trust him and things are good, I don't think he will again...it's just hard to fully let go I guess. It's like a part of me died when he cheated... I was with him since I was 16, we were together for 5 when he cheated...I cried for 3 days straight. That pain just will never fully go away. Thank God for giving second chances though, because I don't think I could be any happier than I am now. I'm glad you gave him a second chance too
I don't think so. I think if you truly love someone you wouldn't cheat. I think distance, time etc is just a self justification of cheating. My husband has been gone for 7 months 7,000 miles away and I'd never cheat. And I was gone in 07-08 for 9 months, then in 09-10 he was gone for a year, then again end of '11 to current he's gone. No reason to cheat, like someone else said, if you LOVE someone you wouldn't. I know everyone views are different. But if we ever came to a point that there's a "reason" to cheat, we'd go our separate ways.
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@littlefae what if they do it once?
Some days, I have thoughts of cheating on him. He knows this. I'm still kind of irrational even though its almost been a year (next month). I love him entirely, but my thoughts are still about revenge. I just can't bring myself to do it. Not because of love, but because of my own morals.
@Mimii36 I may just want to believe that my husband has always loved me. Kind of a kick in my own face if I said no.
@fate well that explains why u said that n would feel that way (hoping n believing he always loved u).
@Summergirl22 Right. I feel the same. He once offered to let me cheat, but I'm just not that type of girl. I believe he just wanted me to get over it by being "even". I dunno.
And yeah I completely understand, plus it's not the the same..you never gave him permission
I catch my self thinking in the back of my mind, what if he ever does it again. I trust him and things are good, I don't think he will again...it's just hard to fully let go I guess. It's like a part of me died when he cheated... I was with him since I was 16, we were together for 5 when he cheated...I cried for 3 days straight. That pain just will never fully go away. Thank God for giving second chances though, because I don't think I could be any happier than I am now.