is the grass sometimes greener on the other side?

Mimii36

Ok first let me say...I don't need anybody judging me..I'm judging myself enough. In life sometimes we have to live it to learn it.

So anyway... Me and my bd are together. I have felt a void of feeling for quite sometime now. I love him but I am not in love with him. I have met this guy and we talk a lot. It is not sexual..it has not been to that. He does not want to rush things like that. Anyway...I am finding myself catching feelings for this person. Of course the saying goes...the grass isn't always greener on the other side. But can it sometimes be? I'm so torn with emotions at this point...that its driving me insane. Has anyone ever been in a situation where they left someone for someone else...or someone left their SO for you? Has it ever worked out? CAN THE GRASS BE GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE?

ashley_smashley

It never worked out for me...Then one day it dawned on me...the grass is greener on the other side because its fertilized with bull shit. I would work more on fixing the void with your bd...and less on talking with this new guy.

Mimii36

@ashley_smashley I've worked hard on fixing it. It's not like I just popped up one day and decided I didn't wanna love him anymore..fuck it. Lol. The feelings have been gone and I just don't know how to get them back. It's like he's tries...and I just don't really care anymore.

skysma

Don't worry girl I know excatly how ur feelin

ashley_smashley

@mimii36 I was by no means trying to be rude. If the feelings are gone then I guess I would suggest leaving him first...then spending some you time to get things straight and then looking at that side of the grass...lol. Its not fair to him for your to be talking to a man that you have feelings for while still with him

Mimii36

@ashley_smasley oh no..I didn't take it like that. Sorry if I sounded that way. Lol.
But you're right...I think working on just me for a while will be a better idea.

Mimii36

@skysma I'm glad I'm not alone.

DavidnAadynsMama

I posted the other day this saying... "the grass is greener on the other side, but yours could be just as green if you take the time to tend to it". Not judging, I just think its a great saying. I was married.. "fell out of love"...began talking to another man & convinced myself I loved him. My husband and I divorced. Months later, it dawned on me what a horrible mistake we had made by not trying harder to make it work. Luckily for me, he still loved me & hadnt moved on. We are now remarried, had another baby and are happier than ever. I know my situation is unique but coming from someone who was totally positive they no longer loved someone, and now knowing how much I truly love them, my advice is to really think things through. Make sure you have exhausted all posibilities (counseling etc) but I can promise that if you are no longer open to trying to fix things (like I was at the time) then it will be impossible to make things better with that person. If you're still leaning on someone else for support, then it will be impossible to lean towards your SO. Again, im not judging. I just have a lot of experience Be happy. Thats the best advice I can give

DavidnAadynsMama

When I left, I did it for me. I did thiings for myself. I went back to school, got a job, apartment etc. I.needed to know that I COULD make it on my own. I just found out that I didnt want to It sounds to me like your mind is made up (mine was too). I say follow your heart & see where it takes you. Mine just happened to lead me back home

JoshnEviesmum

my husband and i were friends b4 we got together and he was actually engaged to his ex when we first started having feelings for each other. He left her before anything happened, and we got together pretty much straight away, n 3 years later were married n have a baby, so yes, sometimes it can, but you gotta be sure your doing the right thing for you and Jazmyah. Everyone deserves to be happy hon. :-)

tjscrd

Leaving my son's dad for my boyfriend was the best thing I could have ever done for myself and my son.

I went back home as a temporary thing to help us prepare for my son at 5 months pregnant and reconnected with the guy I actually gave my virginity to. I thought I loved my sons dad, but it became quite clear very quickly that I had just reunited with who I was always meant to end up with. I had always been IN love with this fool. When we were younger I had refused to date him with his reputation but by then we both finally grew up enough to start an actual relationship.

However it was hard, do I stay with the 'family' I was just starting? Or risk it all for a chance to see what could have been? Option 2 is now my son's dad. He felt his first kicks, saw him before I did when he was born, and was the first one to get him to laugh and smile. My son's biological dad has never even met him, completely by his own choice. I then found out later not 3 weeks after I left planning on it being temporary he had already found a new girlfriend on the side and started living off of her, then drank all his money instead preparing for our son.

So yeah, for my situation it was definitly greener. And I thank the great spirit everyday for crossing our paths again. A year later and we are now expecting our own baby 1/1/13. (: And not a thing in this world could make me happier.

Mrz_Jackson

I think u Shuld take sum time for u to cuz its not fair for u not to be happy an its not fair to him if ur not in love with him I really hope things work out for u.

captivated

Yes and yes. From my experience. Bd and I were both married when things began. It sometimes can be.

tjscrd

But the way I see it, there's a huge difference between a genuinely happy enviroment and an accepted, civil one. And it's COMPLETELY up to you on how you believe your happiness will be achieved. Be honest with yourself, is the lack of feelings fixable? Would you want to fix them? Or would you be beating a dead horse? Just don't let anyone judge your decisions. I'm judged everyday for mine. I have a 9 month old and I'm pregnant by another man. But we're genuinely happy. And my that rubs off significantly on my son. So I honestly don't care about anyone's two-cents.

beccahedrick

I think the grass can sometimes be greener on the other side. As I know I have sinned so please don't judge.... I met josh at work and he was 2 years younger than me. We dated for one year and got married, so we rushed in to a wedding and moving in together. So about 9 months later I started a new job and met the love of my life. We talked and flirted at first. Then I fell in love with him. I left my husband for him and that was for the best. I love Dakota now more than ever. We have a beautiful daughter and we couldn't be happier. I just had to follow my heart. Because I knew I wasn't "in" love with josh.

Mimii36

@beccahedrick @captivated @kitshay its good to hear positives outcomes also!

1stWoodsBaby

We are in the SAME situation. I haven't feelings for my husband, I don't want to work things out, I don't want to be with him, theres nothing there anymore except bad feelings. But I stay for our two kids. It's awful. I'm angry, mean, and resentful (all on the inside) because I don't want to be here. I know my husband doesn't deserve how I treat him, but he won't Accept that it's over. He wontagreeto divorce, he thinks I'm joking or "just hormonal" (his exact words) whenever I try to tell him how I feel.

I'd love to leave my husband, but I don't think I can do that because of my kids. If you feel like you are strong enough to do it, I'd say do it!!! I'd never want someone to end up feelings so miserable and hating someone so much that they are stuck with like i do. It will make you feel horrible.

Mimii36

@1stWoodsBaby I totally understand. My bf will not accept it either. I tell him I don't want to be with him and he finds all these reasons why we should stay together. I just don't care about those things anymore. But he won't let it go. So here I am...still with him.