I just need to vent.... very long!
So most of you know the background but for those who dont..me and my daughers father split up because I just wasnt happy anymore. I felt like I had expressed my feelings to him so many times and nothing was being changed. I just started to fall out of love eventually..I didnt come to him and explain this to him. Why should I have? My issues with us never seemed to concern him before. He basically had this "shes not going anywhere" mentality. I broke up with him and accidently (yes accidently..I was taking the proper precautions against it) got pregnant by someone else I had started talking too. This "new" guy is great. Hes almost everything that I had been practically begging my daughters father to be. Now my daughters father cant seem to just get over me and realize its over! Hes so stuck on saying that the only reason we didnt work was because I did not come to him and tell him my feelings were faded..if I would have we could have worked it out..hes a changed man..blah blah blah. He says I just cant see that hes changee because im "with" someone else and thats why I dont love him anymore. Its like he still isnt willing to take blame that he is the main reason we are not together. Its not because I didnt communicate with him 1 time out of the million times I did communicate with him. Its not because theres someone else! Its because of HIM! I do see that he has changed for the better..but to me its just to late. He doesnt understand that! He thinks just because he has turned into the man that I wanted him to be that suppose to just run back. But I feel like I gave him a million chances to make these changes before I left him and he didnt. He only changed because I finally left him. And im just over him! I cant make myself fall back in love with him. He says I cant because im giving someone else my love and if I took this other guy out the picture that I could love him again. But to me its too late. He had his chance to be what I needed him to be and he didnt take it until it was too late. But he makes me feel like im wrong for not running back to him since he has changed now. Am I wrong for choosing the man who is getting it right the first time? Am I wrong for trying to make myself happy? He makes me feel like hes the victim and now im doing him so wrong and crushing his heart.
I just needed to vent. Just someone to listen. Thank you. And im on my phone so sorry if there is typos.
I just needed to vent. Just someone to listen. Thank you. And im on my phone so sorry if there is typos.
Comments
I think the most important thing is that you know you are done. Forcing yourself to ”try” when your heart is not in it will result in failure. The only way I can explain what you are going through in your failed relationship and what you are dealing with are the stages of grief. It sounds like you are experiencing acceptance and anger at the same time. It is all perfectly normal and natural.
Lastly, I don't think you should feel bad/sad for him because you've moved on. It is unfair of him to throw those things in your face, but he's facing desperation and will use anything within his power to accomplish his mission, which is to have you back. Since you've told him umpteenth times your needs and his shortcomings I wouldn't worry about repeating yourself.
I normally believe in holy matrimony, but you've removed yourself from that union and it's fair to say there is no turning back; although you are the only one that knows that to be true. Listen to your heart, but pay attention to your instinct as well. Don't fight them just because you think the grass is greener on the other side. We all have our prince charming's in the beginning, as we don't note their shortcomings until later. It's how we accept and work around them that counts.
Good luck!
You sound like a women scorn!!!
R.Kelly put it best... "When a women's fed up, there ain't NOTHING you can do about it."
Ok.. but let's flip the script a little...
Men do take more time to see what we see. When we hand them the milk and dont require the purchase of the cow.. they're gonna milk out constantly until we run dry... That's if we let them.
I can see you got the taste of the good life with this new guy... Now he can be the grass that's greener or he can be the turf that looks green but ain't.
Looks like either way you go you're gambling. This guy sounds really nice (only time will tell) and then as for your Ex... Maybe he changed, maybe hes just front'n and whose to say you can even get that love'n feeling back.. well you can. Doing it is just hard. Sounds like you ain't feeling it.
As for how your Ex feels.. as much as I want to say screw his feelings... And I do! He is your child's father but... But but but wait... he wasn't concerned about your feelings when you were going through it emotionally. LOL
My feeling is.. we're all grown. 2 people in a relationship and that have been together for a while vibe the same way. With saying this.. if you felt a certain way during the relationship and you weren't happy with the way things were going ... There is no way in Hell he couldn't detect that. His ass was just too comfortable thinking you weren't going anywhere.
I started this post to tell you you should work it out, but now I'm done with the message and I'm pissed for you.
Girl... MAKE IT DO WHAT IT DO!
DO YOU!
@ynvtish I was waiting for you to comment.
I want so bad to just move on from this man and start fresh but that is so much easier said than done. But they say what is meant to be will be right? Let it go and if it comes back it was meant to be! I think I just need to let it go...