SAHM

Fate

So, in order to make my children functional members of society, I will no longer be cleaning up after them. My husband as well. I get it, I'm a SAHM, so I should do all of these things. But, breastfeeding is not going so well anymore because I continually chase little (and one big one) monsters around, cleaning up their messes. Obviously I will pick up after myself and the two babies still. But as for Destiny (7), and Brianna (5), they are very capable of cleaning up. I am tired. Very tired. I get up at 7:30 most days, and then go to bed around 12:30-1am. When I wake up, I take a 10 minute shower and it starts. I'm worn out by 4pm! So, to save my sanity (and my choice to breastfeed), this has to happen. My question is, HOW do I make this happen?!

cetheridge

Start small. Our son has been cleaning his room and making his own bed since he was 3 of course it wasn't perfect at first. But over time he learned how to do it properly. When he's finished eating dishes go in the sink or at the very least on the counter. As he's gotten older (he's 7 now) he gets more responsibility While they're younger pictures representing what goes where is a huge help. Our son was overwhelmed until we started using the pictures

Fate

@cetheridge So, you introduced something like a chore chart?

Wilsomom

Keep the kids literally with you ALL the time so you can correct their behavior immediately & train them to do what you want. At first it's hard, but eventually they'll be trained so they don't have to be with you constantly. I use chore charts too, but they also know they have to do whatever mom says whether it's on their chart or not....even if it's on someone else's chart.

sehra4177

That's what I do...my daughter is eight and she has a chore chart to earn her allowance. She does small stuff. Like help pick up her brothers toys, he then starts helping bc he sees her doing it. She puts the leftovers away after dinner (great way to learn shapes bc now she shows the 2 yr old what lids and shapes fit the Tupperware). She puts the ketchup, mustard away or whatever we use for dinner and my two yr always wants to help now too:) the two yr old (learned by routine) puts his clothes in the hamper, is now picking up his toys and also is in bed by 830 bc that's always bedtime...just keep to routine it helps tremendously. I get my time at 830 pm...in bed usually by 10pm. The seven month old is in by usually 8 pm. Make it fun for them its alot of work but def pays off...as far as hubby...I'm still working on mine for the past ten years so I have no suggestion for that part lol!

jules

I have this cool chart/calendar it has all kinds of different things on there plus she gets to use the market on it herself which she likes and in the end there is area I can write her reward at the end of the week.

smcox

Suggestions of age appropriate chores I'm not there yet so I don't have advice, sorry.

http://www.busykidshappymom.org/p/life-skills.html?m=1

smcox

Here's a different one.

http://www.scribd.com/mobile/doc/49616309?width=360

starrxoxo9

@wilsomom "so you can train them to do what you want". That's kind of harsh. They're not animals...

natashalynn

^^ well we potty train, I want her to pee in the potty and so yes, I'm training her to do what I want..

starrxoxo9

@Natashalynn You really see it that way?? Wow..

What happened to TEACHING our children?

I'm sorry but I don't agree with "training" and forcing children to obey your every demand.

And yes I know it's called potty training for a reason, but I'd like to think we respect our kids enough to take the time to teach them things that are necessary as they grow. Not because we just want them to do it.

natashalynn

And I'd like to think that train and teach are in essence synonyms for each other and that you read @wilsomoms comment far differently than I did. No ones saying that were forcing them to obey our every command, but youre of course entitled to your opinion. My opinion however, is the mentality of letting kids do what they want, when they want, how they want is how we have ended up with a generation of entitled kids.

Fate

@starrxoxo9 I agree completely. Thanks a bunch. :x

@Wilsomom There is no possible way to keep them by me at all times without denying them childhood activities. I just want them to be functional, not take away what being a kid is all about.

@smcox Thank you, I loved the first link! That's exactly what I needed, age appropriate, simple (not too time consuming) chores. >:D<

@sehra4177 That gives me a lot of comfort and confidence that chore charts work. How much does she usually earn for allowance?

@jules Do you remember where you bought it? I made one out of posterboard, but was thinking about getting a dry erase board of some sort.

Fate

@natashalynn I let my kids do whatever they want. They are polite, and they ask me first, but I try to say yes most of the time. They don't just think everything is their's and are entitled to it. All I'm asking is for clean up tips, because I made the choice to clean up after everyone for the last ten years. They are super good kids. They don't argue, or throw tantrums because I rarely say no, it's because I taught them manners. And respect.

sehra4177

We do two dollars a day...if she misses one check in a day she loses the two dollars. I also ask her to do extra for more money. So it comes to ten a week bc weekends are free days. I figured that way she can earn her money too so she can buy her own stuff when we go to the store to buy her own toys...she also surprises me and wants to buy stuff for her brothers too:) now the 2 yr old asks for dollars so he is starting to pick up his stuff and help more.

sehra4177

We just made our chart on the computer and printed it out its saved on the computer and can print more...it works great:)

Fate

@sehra4177 I was thinking of giving everyone (even me) Sundays off. Move family day from Thursday to Sunday. Does she save the $10 or spend it quickly. Maybe if I use money, they can get rewarded every single day if they do their chores instead of at the end of the week?

Wilsomom

I think you might have misunderstood me, I just meant to keep them with you until they got the point of what you were training them er...teaching them to do. Not forever lol, I'd go insane. And yes, by the word training I just meant teaching.

natashalynn

@fate I apologize if I offended you, or implied your kids weren't good kids.

@wilsomom I gotcha.

jules

I actually ordered it from a catalogue that she brought home for fun raising program. It's made out of the material tar u use dry erase markers on that way u can just erase and use it forever.

Fate

@wilsomom I can't do that for even a day straight. For me, that is just not a realistic way that I can help them understand what chores mean without making me seem controlling. Thank you though.

@natashalynn Oh, you didn't offend me. Lol. I just didn't want to be looped in with those parents who have children like you were speaking of.

Fate

@jules Darn. Lol. I'll look online then. Thank you!

Wilsomom

I understand. I've tried using glass jars to put their chore money in before. It works great because it sits on the counter where they can see it & even hear it drop in (if you use coins) so it's real motivating.

natashalynn

Okay good, cause I wasn't calling anyone personally out. I was just saying that there are other opinions out there and of course its in general terms.

jules

I know I'm sorry but I'm pretty sure they have a lot of stuff like that online. I'll try look for you as well.

smcox

No problem, Pinterest is an amazing thing! I would never have known what age wound be appropriate for what chores other wise. I learn so much on Pinterest lol

sehra4177

I'd say whatever works better for you...I give it to her Sundays bc that's our family day too, so sometimes we go shopping and she wants something. She is eight too (little older than yours) so she keeps up with it and knows Sun is payday lol. If doing day by day works better more incentive you could do that too...I usually don't have money around either to just give her day by day. What we did also is had her set chores then like I said the added stuff to do for extra money. Usually she spends her money on books that school catalog they send home or a violin book bc she plays violin. But I told her she should save for Christmas presents (this is the first yr she will buy stuff for people...she wants to get her nana and pop pop and cousins something:)

starrxoxo9

@fate

@Natashalynn Well there's a big difference between my views and the "worldly" view of parenting, so we'll just agree to disagree.

sands3

I believe we have to teach our children by showing them how to do something. A chart is a great idea along with an allowance or prize. That gives them the incentive to want to do it. Im about to start this with my 4 yr old because im so tires of cleaning his room several times a day. I totally understood what @wilsomom was trying to say.

My2Boys

I understand what @wilsomom is saying, and maybe if you just keep them with you during that small period of showing them. For example do there chores with them for a while to make sure they have it right, and then let them do it. My 4 year old knows to pick up after him for the most part, as good as a 4 year old will. We take off our clothes to get in the bath and we put them right into the laundry basket, we do this before getting into the bath tub, now my one year loves to pick his up off the floor and get them into the basket too. If my 4 year old wants a snack I help him get it, and he knows to put it away when he is done. As long as you help them with things at first they will adapt to it and make it part of their habits and life.

Wilsomom

My typical way of training a new chore or habit is to 1. Demonstrate myself 2. Do it together with them 3. Watch them do it alone 4. Let them do it alone unsupervised

Each step can take a few minutes or a few days depending on the child & the new task. But that's just me & how I do it, everyone's different! I guess that's why I keep them with me so much. Now that I think about it, my kids are rarely out of hearing range ever... That's just how I am I guess.

(Ooops..did I say "training" again?! Lol Ha ha ha)